#520799
(1682)<irving> i do stuff like set up my garage door to open over the internet <MyPetGoat> having an internet-enabled garage door? what that fuck is that good for? <MyPetGoat> it's like you're the most pathetic Bond villain ever #520918
(826)<zere> i need to make 75 thousand dollars <videogameaholic> removing your head from your ass leaves quite a medical bill, doesn't it. #521316
(2736)<deloused> haha i love when people start telling you stuff like you care when you actually don't and you don't pay attention, and then when they finish they ask for your opinion/advice and you just say "oh yea i totally agree" <XA> oh yeah, i totally agree #521511
(1411)<notalive> have you heard those jokes they dont tell gay people <notalive> ? <kebaan> i dont think so? <kebaan> tell me one then i can tell you if i have <notalive> i dont know any #521743
(1092)<megamobike> my mom taught me a very important lesson today <ccrookedrrain> no means no? <megamobike> gross #522538
(1385)<minion> what should i get for lunch <minion> i have $4 <keef> 8 packs of ramen and a 3 dollar hooker #522754
(1767)<Trin[awah]> I was dyeing easter eggs, and I said, "my eggs came out all ugly!" <Trin[awah]> and my brother said to me, "well, now you know how your mother feels." #522860
(306)<prepared>Theorem: All numbers are equal. <prepared>Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Then <prepared>a + b = t <prepared>(a + b)(a - b) = t(a - b) <prepared>a^2 - b^2 = ta - tb <prepared>a^2 - ta = b^2 - tb <prepared>a^2 - ta + (t^2)/4 = b^2 - tb + (t^2)/4 <prepared>(a - t/2)^2 = (b - t/2)^2 <prepared>a - t/2 = b - t/2 <prepared>a = b <prepared>So all numbers are the same, and math is pointless. #522882
(-100)<Kitoshi> XD at the end of Ep 3, when they\'re showing Padme\'s funeral <Kitoshi> my friend Hampton said \"Look! Her stomach\'s big again! They must\'ve stuffed something back in there after the births!\" <Heath> xD <Kitoshi> and without a second thought, I respond \"Where do you think Yoda went into hiding?\" #523092
(-292)Infinitism: saying you've had the best sex without orgasm is like saying you've just cleaned a toilet with the neatest arrangement of shit all over it. #523347
(1053)<Terror> So, on one of the last days of school we had an assembly in memorial of some guy that graduated from my school that was a gunner on a Humvee and was killed by shrapnel from a roadside bomb in Iraq <Terror> And when we go back to class, the teacher was asking us what we got out of the service <Terror> and one kid said "I learned not be the the gunner on a Humvee" #523604
(553)<Nirtose> heres some geek for you... You make me hotter than a overclocked, volt-modded Prescott chip with stock heatsink and fan <@Beaver> omg dude <Nirtose> thats right * Beaver has kicked Nirtose Reason(I told you once that im married) * Nirtose has joined #beaver <Nirtose> :( * Beaver has kicked Nirtose Reason(And not gay) #523701
(204)<flamebird> using trillian because \"it works with MSN too\" is the same as saying \"well im not going to a strip club tonight, ill just get my mother to give me a lap dance.. shes a woman\" - its true.. but.. NO #524037
(3425)steve: whats your opinion on censorship insomniacdude007: **** censorship #524062
(2645)3:pixelsoft> GHB? Don't you go to school? 3:GHB> Today is Saturday 3:pixelsoft> It's Friday GHB left arena #524110
(1801)<RandalCalrissian> Who wrote an essay entitled 'Advice to a Young Man on choosing a Mistress'? <Jeegoo> Cassanova <RandalCalrissian> Here's your 1st hint, B___am__ ____k___ <Jeegoo> no idea <Randal> dr seus <Jeegoo> hee <Zwuh> Al Gore <RandalCalrissian> Here's your 2nd hint, _en_a_in _r_n__i_ <RandalCalrissian> Here's your 3rd hint, B_njami_ Fra__lin <Zwuh> Benjamin Frankin <Jeegoo> Benjamn franklin <Randal> benjamin frankls <Randal> oop <Randal> s <Zwuh> haha <RandalCalrissian> Time's up! The answer was: Benjamin Franklin <Zwuh> way to spell, team! #524500
(-222)TheOrigionalFuzz: this one guy was yelling at me in spanish the other day, so I said "speak a real language or go to hell" and he kept yelling at me, and it was pissing me off, so I flipped him off, so he started chasing me, so I started running, and that's about it TheOrigionalFuzz: turns out I was on his property TheOrigionalFuzz: or something #524669
(312)<Boo|Marking> Can you think of any reason why IE, on my dad's laptop, won't display animated .gifs ? <Mirabilis> Because they're disabled in the IE options <Mirabilis> Other than that, security settings <Boo|Marking> Hm. I looked for it. <Boo|Marking> I'll have another lookie-see. <Donovan> I dunno, Boo|Marking, I have a feeling it may have to do with "Microsoft KB #2383892: Internet Explorer is a Steaming Pile of Shit" #524693
(1417)<mikael> people should get beat up, for stating their beliefs <penisbird> is that your belief? #524806
(-434)<helgrl> What c:\DARTHVADER said to c:\DARTHVADER\LUKESKYWALKER ? <helgrl> "I´m your folder" #525051
(1169)<Admiral_Payne> One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said she was almost out of typing paper, and asked she should do <Admiral_Payne> "just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her <Admiral_Payne> You know what she did? <Admiral_Payne> she took her last remaining blank piece of typing paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five copies #525085
(1942)DBO: the guy in the middle lane is blasting his music full blast DBO: so loud I cant hear my own music with the windows up DBO: I mean really FREAKING loud DBO: I look over at him and give him a nasty look DBO: and then I see something on the car on the other side of him DBO: its a note DBO: written on cardboard DBO: help up against the window Muz: Yes...and? DBO: "You music sucks, your stereo is too damn loud, and I'm sorry you have a tiny penis" DBO: he turned it down after that #525122
(1760)<monarch> the other day i skipped church and went to get something to eat at 7-11 <monarch> i paid with a 10 and recieved $6.66 in change. <monarch> am i going to hell? <qbert> almost certainly <monarch> fuck #525158
(1552)(XisXisXis): I wanna find an old Star Wars pinball machine (XisXisXis): just so I can hear Yoda say, "Extra Ball, you have" #525423
(1364)<uZi`> i got a photographic memory <uZi`> :/ <Grimmeehh> cool <Grimmeehh> porn on demand <uZi`> mainly for numbers tho <Grimmeehh> o <uZi`> only ascii porn <uZi`> :(