#965855 (129)
<mandrill> if minnie driver had a mini cooper and multiple midget chauffeurs...
<mandrill> many mini drivers drive minnie driver's mini
#965959 (757)
<pawz> i use lilo :") in fact.. my first cat was called Lilo
<pawz> i would take him to the vet and they would be like "Oh, Lilo, from the Disney movie" and i would say "Oi, check his birth date. he was born years before that shitty movie. his name is short for LInux LOader"
<Stranj> And then the vet gave you a shot to calm you down?
#966109 (93)
<Min>: Urg Vince cable has been talking about brexiteers 'erotic spasms'
<Min>: I feel a bit queasy &#128533;
<Yhor>: come on Vince, lets keep it clean
<Min>: I know. Let's keep erotic out of the brexit space
<Yhor>: Maybe he's trying to appeal to people that pretend to know politics and think it's like football?
<Yhor>: you pick a team and you're on that team until you die regardless of your changing opinions
<Yhor>: and must hate all the other teams.
<Min>: Ah I thought you meant full of divas, too much money in the system and secretly owned by Russian oligarchs
<Yhor>: There are days it's clear you're a lot smarter than me.
#966114 (211)
<firefacks> cout << "hello" << endl;
<CoccaFukuda> printf("Sup");
<firefacks> Console.WriteLine("not much");
<sjmulder> ObjectFactory.Resolve<IGreeter>().Invoke();
#966166 (136)
<@stereo_> when we get a time machine that can look anywhere in history, i assume the first thing it'll be used for is to spy on other people's dicks
<@Dom`> I mean, why?
<@Dom`> If we wanted to spy on dicks, we could just put a camera in your mouth
#966181 (399)
<Omega037> so, apparently in preschool class today the teacher asked the class "What are you afraid of?" and my son screamed "BLACK PEOPLE!"  It took her like a minute of talking to him about it to realize that he meant shadows, he just didn't know the word.
#966182 (531)
<FedorhaJergins> I left my job today. I couldn't work for that man after what he said to me.
<ImAndreaKitty> what did he say?
<FedorhaJergins> your fired
#966184 (-76)
<anus> you measure from butthole to tip right
#966216 (167)
<&Moltare> I tried teaching the twins about octothorpes
<&Moltare> I made a hash of it
<Stardrake> Keep trying. In for a penny, in for a pound, after all.
#966218 (484)
<tehron> i have a question about the english language: are parcel and packet synonym in any way?
<sabretooth> yes
<sabretooth> packet is generally smaller
<sabretooth> but they can be used interchangeably even with a large packet and a small parcel :)
<tehron> hm.. :P
<tehron> i think i can't receive parcels
<sabretooth> Well if you're sending them over TCP probably not
<tehron> :P very helpful
<sabretooth> if you're sending them by UDP, UPS or Royal Mail however they'll likely be dropped anyway
#966225 (475)
<Roosevelt> !choose do work, play games
<RoBoBo> Choice: do work
<Roosevelt> bah
<Roosevelt> !choose listen to a stupid bot, don't listen to a stupid bot
<RoBoBo> Choice: listen to a stupid bot
<Roosevelt> :(
#966228 (-54)
<therocode> I don't use dumbbells because they are dumb.
<KVETCH> dumb in the sense that they don't speak
<therocode> yeah that makes me feel lonely
<KVETCH> barbells are pretty loquacious in comparison
<KVETCH> which is why so many people wear headphones to drown them out
<therocode> Scarecrow: i haven't figured out another way to get the same quality of simulation that is not super annoying to implement
<therocode> KVETCH: yeah, it's similar sounds to when you sit at a bar - hence the name
<KVETCH> and the bell is actually an abbreviation of belle, which is due to the hourglass shape of a fully loaded one
<therocode> in fact "gym" is a cheeky spelling of "jim" as a reference to "jim carrey", which is in itself a play on words: Jim Carrey -> Jim Carry.  "Jim" used in the same sense as "john" in "john doe" and Carry implying lifting weights. So, basically a place where people lift
#966229 (363)
<Jarcode> besides, emacs users are ripped
<Jarcode> you wouldn't want to mess with one
<Jarcode> the sheer strength of their fingers from reaching across their keyboard to use obscure keybindings can crush bones
#966243 (181)
<uselessabstraction> So I was just having a conversation with my fiance about Star Wars
<uselessabstraction> particulary, about the choice of architecture
<uselessabstraction> The amount of people who die from falling down bottomless pits is TO DAMN HIGH
<uselessabstraction> like, who designs architecture like this?
<uselessabstraction> catwalks with no guard rails whatsoever, just zigging and zagging through enormous voids
<uselessabstraction> Giant holes to nowhere
<gonzobot> &#12539;&#12444;&#12444;&#12539;&#12290; &#8203; &#12290;&#12539;&#12444;&#12444;&#8203;_ø< qu&#8203;ack!
<MerryPenguin> .bef
<gonzobot> MerryPenguin you befriended a duck in 3.166 seconds! You have made friends with 17 ducks in #trees.
<uselessabstraction> .bang
<uselessabstraction> bah
<MerryPenguin> It's by design
<MerryPenguin> It's a cleaner look, for a more elegant time
<uselessabstraction> like... who the fuck put this hole here????  and why????
<MerryPenguin> exhaust
<uselessabstraction> Darth Maul falls down a hole
<uselessabstraction> Palpatine falls down a hole
<uselessabstraction> Solo falls down a hole
<uselessabstraction> everyone falls down a hole
<uselessabstraction> Star Wars universe needs OSHA
<MerryPenguin> Luke falls down a hole
<MerryPenguin> Boba Fett falls down a hole
<uselessabstraction> yes.  yes.
<uselessabstraction> I forgot about those!
<MerryPenguin> R2D2 falls down a hole in the Millenium Falcon after he fixes the hyperdrive
<MerryPenguin> lol
<MerryPenguin> we're onto something here
<uselessabstraction> Obi Wan almost falls down a hole
<MerryPenguin> C-3PO falls off the barge into the sand. Pretty close to falling down a hole.
<uselessabstraction> his lightsabre does though
* MerryPenguin thinks hard about what other Star Wars Characters fall down holes
<uselessabstraction> what if the hole is symbolic
<uselessabstraction> the hole represents the dark side
<MerryPenguin> Nah, doesn't work. Luke chooses to fall down the hole instead of joining Vader/The Dark Side
<uselessabstraction> fair point
#966262 (373)
< duoi> how do i stop getting my puter infected with adware when downloading porn
< skas> block ads
< skas> update os and antivir
< hdqn> next!
< duoi> but how will i find out about lonely singles in my local area
< hdqn> look into every window in the neighbourhood, if they're IRCing that's your best best
< hdqn> the shorter the handle, the longer the candle, if y'know what I mean
#966357 (118)
<Lucca> Honestly I wasn't opposed to circumcision until I had my own son, I hadn't thought much about it previously. It was swicked who was decidedly against it first and then I agreed with him
<Bryce> Well, I wouldn't get it done to _my_ son, but it just doesn't seem like a reasonable thing to have the state intervene in.
<Emerald>       I think it's pretty reasonable to intervene when someone is about to permanently mutilate their kid in a way that cannot be reversed and has potentially nontrivial impacts on the rest of their life.
<Bryce> You're making a mountain out of a mohel
#966447 (125)
<gonthey> so I'm new to irc what's a half op?
<gonthey> and why do some people have + % and @
<gonthey> as prefixes
<+Smegma_Sandwich> Well, if you are delicious, you get a +
<+Smegma_Sandwich> If you are gay, you get a %
<+Smegma_Sandwich> And if you are gay and also a meth addict, you get a @
<gonthey> check and check
<gonthey> give me an @
#966452 (98)
<r3pwn> Pretty sure something just exploded next door
<r3pwn> but I still have power so I'm okay
<IllegalArgument> Exploding things next door tend to not be good...
<r3pwn> There's no screaming (the neighbors whose house the sound came from have like 6 kids), so I guess it's okay
<IllegalArgument> Either it was insignificant enough not to warrant screaming, or they all perished in the blast
#966453 (114)
kirch | I told me kid about meetings this morning - he asked if they bring you meat - I said no - he said "not even a single piece of salami?"
+janitor | :D
@kirch | he was just incredulous that they were named after meat, but had no meat.
+janitor | I can see why, he's right too.
#966459 (281)
<Voct> a guy in argentina had himself tattooed with a QR code that would show you a video of a super exciting moment in argentine football
<Voct> and then the video got taken down
<MasDestruc7ion> Now the qr code says something like, page missing, or video is unavailable, so that sucks
<Voct> yes
<BlackWing> Guy should have done Rick Roll
<Voct> his tattoo gave him up, it let him down
<BlackWing> But it will never desert him.
#966506 (273)
<UndeadLeech> Melting the icecaps one bitcoin at a time.