QDB — Browse Quotes

#22671 (90)

<FoxyRoxy> i fucking fried my cd player badly i plugged it into this outlet that had tape on it (god knows why) i didnt even see any tape and it set on fire

#22672 (496)

<CrazySpence> my moms like "do you have the paper towels" *i hand them over* "I know you use them for jerking off" *laughs and closes the door*

#22674 (93)

<grifferz> I am afraid we are going to have to jupe the nick blitzed-is-gay since it is too politically incorrect. you may however use many-blitzed-users-are-gay

#22686 (173)

<@maff> if you are on dialup, do the rest of the world a favor and dont share any files on any p2p networks
<@maff> i dont want to wait an hour to download a 5 meg mp3 just like you dont want to wait an hour to upload it so lets cut the bullshit and not have this problem in the first place

#22687 (32)

<ZedR> I've got...
<ZedR> ...
<ZedR> POWERS
<Drevlin> no
<Drevlin> you got sympathy :P

#22688 (188)

<rogue2> a diablo SV just pulled in to my parking lot
<rogue2> it's michael bolton driving the diablo
<Snow> Did Michael Bolton really just drive a Lamborghini Diablo into your parking lot?
<Snow> That's so absurd it's actually believable.
<Snow> Oh, I have to go. Edward James Olmos just pulled into my drive way in a Panoz Roadster.

#22696 (295)

<Pandemonium> Those popups could poke someone's eye out.

#22698 (140)

<Soda_Tab> man its so much beter to not buy magazines and read all the articles online...
<Soda_Tab> period.
<spazzer> that's unless you like bringing a laptop in with you to read on the shitter

#22703 (129)

* ILoveJackDaniels looks out of the window to laugh at the man wearing a mini-dress dancing in front of a car
<ILoveJackDaniels> Accelerate, damn you!

#22704 (161)

(+Mutsumi_Otohime): a m8 of mine had to go to the hospital, & worried the staff there by talking about how I had worms, of course, the staff didn't know he meant the game :P

#22707 (807)

<burrahobbit> "Hi, my name is Tyson Vandagriff and, I am going to be your roommate next year at OU."
<burrahobbit> AND COMMA
<burrahobbit> HOLY CRAP MY ROOMMATE IS RETARDED

#22713 (248)

<RpgTheIdler> you know, if there was this girl, and she was all like, "Let's have sex", but I was playing DDR, I'd be all like "Bitch, can't you see I'm busy?"

#22724 (140)

<jehodgson> do fighter pilots actually wear bras on their heads?

#22725 (746)

<m477[Lain]> ok i know how to fix this problem, but you need a webcam and have to be naked

#22727 (899)

(Makura) -_-
(@Shady) why the long emoticon?

#22733 (341)

McPhile: Planet Earth is God's shitty, exploitative reality show.
McPhile: I can just see him up there with Michael and Gabriel, bag of microwave popcorn in his lap, watching. "Whoa! Did you see THAT? I didn't even know I built them to do that."
ecstaticsurfacer: Hell yes. I've been saying for years that my life is God's favourite soap opera.
McPhile : Well, there's probably not enough sex in your life for it to be His favorite.

#22742 (279)

<miriamb> is there really horse in horseradish

#22745 (103)

#22748 (210)

<cha0s-> Dude, this one time I was playing mortal kombat as Kano... and I did the fatality on my opponent and I go "ULTRA COMBO FATALITY NIGGER WHAT" and my mom heard me :(

#22751 (194)

<jimblob> did you know that haggii (thats more than one haggis) have two legs shorter than the other two, this enables them to run around hills very quickly, the down side is that , depending on which two legs are the shortest, the haggis can only run round the hills in one direction
<miriamb> really Jim?
<miriamb> gosh
<jimblob> yes miriam

#22754 (543)

<FiZi> HEY I FOUND A COOKIE CRUMB ON MY SHIRT
* FiZi eats it
<FiZi> Aw crap
<FiZi> It wasn't a cookie crumb

#22757 (307)

<[zc]Kinslayer> omfg
<[zc]Kinslayer> it's days like this i hate my fucking job
<[zc]FuLLcLiP|work|> why whats up
<[zc]Kinslayer> argh this customer cannot find her address bar

#22768 (57)

<KKR[b0r3d]> i once had a wet dream and was glued to my bed the following day

#22770 (253)

<m477[LainOS]> Phone call: "I can't get online" Sir do you use AOL? "Yes" It's working then

#22774 (197)

<Sureshot> some cunt nicked my milk
<NyseriA> i was so fucked off last year with someone nicking my milk i pissed in it
<Sureshot> ROFL
<NyseriA> i nearly fyucking died when i walked into the kitchen in the morning to see the fucker eating it with frostieS :)
<NyseriA> i have also soaked a cheese in rancid milk
<NyseriA> washed it
<NyseriA> and put it back in the fridge
<NyseriA> some fucker ate that as well