QDB — Browse Quotes

#5804 (675)

<+mirkin> does anybody know if it is possible using ms access to create a report which shows the records of a table
<+mirkin> but shows 3 columns across the page
<+mirkin> i.e
<+mirkin> record 1 record 2 record 3
<+mirkin> record 4 record 5 record 6
<+GoodScrat> That is impossible
<+GoodScrat> Computers are not that far advanced yet

#5805 (290)

<evenpar123> I am so going to be moderated for that last comment...
<mightyflo> console wars are stupid. people that get involved with console wars are even stupidder
<evenpar123> Console wars? I was just giving some information, and making fun of the fact that his parents don't love each other anymore

#5808 (433)

#5810 (366)

<A|exander> i bet aguilera would be as dirty as fuck
<DarthJesus> I dunno'
<DarthJesus> I think she'd be too self involved to want to do anything for you
<A|exander> not if i knocked her unconscious first.

#5819 (313)

[Synoptica] Just when you thought porn spam couldn't stoop any lower...
[Synoptica] 'DOGFART SLUTS!'

#5823 (269)

<mendel> now that I think of it, O'Reilly is to a system administrator
<mendel> as a shoulder length latex glove is to a vetinarian.

#5836 (455)

<PhantomOfTheRouter> never got another call from them till they bought a new accounting package that needed Win95
<PhantomOfTheRouter> and Novell for the servers..
<PhantomOfTheRouter> went in to upgrade the machines..
<PhantomOfTheRouter> moved the first 2 workgroup servers to Novell 4.11
<PhantomOfTheRouter> couldn't find the third
<PhantomOfTheRouter> asked them where they moved it to...
<PhantomOfTheRouter> umm, moved ?
<PhantomOfTheRouter> yeah, where did you move WKG3SRV to ?
<PhantomOfTheRouter> ummm...
<PhantomOfTheRouter> we didn't change anything
<PhantomOfTheRouter> You had to have moved it when you remodelled the office! The wiring closet in the hall is gone...
<PhantomOfTheRouter> oh shit!

#5853 (638)

<Spooooky> Ever notice how straight guys, when making a "Hell, I'd fuck him" joke always say they'll do the fucking?
<Spooooky> They don't say "I'd take a shot in the eye from him"
<Spooooky> Like it's LESS gay to be the pitcher than the catcher

#5856 (186)

<charon> <danybear:#bearcave> danybear is a six one, 210 lb, hairy leatherbear in Toronto, 50 years old, 6 uncut
<charon> whatever you do, don't join #bearcave asking for warez
<FishBulb_> charon: uncut means 0-day you tard

#5862 (493)

<SDHawk> I tried to go to dictionary.com, but I can't spell it right.

#5863 (2945)

<mp> i am convinced i am a woman
<Oreoboros> mp: Why's that?
<mp> cuz i went to bed bath and beyond for a shower curtain and left with $700 worth of shit
<mp> and i had to go back because i realized after i checked out that i forgot to buy a fucking shower curtain

#5869 (551)

<Synoptica> holy fuck
<Synoptica> i like
<Synoptica> almost swallowed an aaa battery
<Synoptica> (dont ask)

#5872 (693)

<Kuiburetsu> I feel betrayed
<Kuiburetsu> denied
<Kuiburetsu> and... and...
<Kuiburetsu> erm...
<Kuiburetsu> about to be kicked for flooding
*** Kuiburetsu was kicked by Quiby (flood)

#5874 (832)

<Synoptica> having some major sound issues with gta
<Synoptica> cant think of why either
<bytraper> prolly because your gay
<Synoptica> yeah that's right
<Synoptica> gta has detected that i'm gay and adjusted it's performance accordingly

#5876 (273)

<straylight> Y'know, I just realized something... why the fuck are we
sending in the NORMAL armed forces against Osama bin Laden? Isn't this
right up GI JOE's alley?
<straylight> I mean, what the hell are we paying THEM for?
<straylight> Hell, the theme song even says "GI JOE is there!"

#5883 (487)

<illz> "hypothetical ?: your best friend is seeing somebody. shes not around,
he wants to fuck you and comes on to you. do you fuck him?"
<defz> wait
<defz> are you a guy?

#5885 (416)

<splurge> i wish i had amazing powers of telekinesis
<splurge> i would be able to fondle boobies with my MIND!
<purenergy> ya
<purenergy> u can do that now
<purenergy> use ur imagination
<splurge> but i mean, imagine being able to stimulate a girl in a bar
<splurge> just stick a finger of telekinetic force up her spatch
<splurge> wiggle it around
<splurge> vibrate
<splurge> all sorts of crazy shit
<splurge> then get a good grip and gently lead her over to a seat beside you
<splurge> you'd get so much play it wouldn't even be funny

#5888 (758)

<DooD> my stalking skills have left me with her phone number to 100% accuracy.
<DooD> along with her home address.
<DooD> you should always pay the extra $2.00 to keep your phone number unlisted.
<Wronski> maybe she is playing "easy to stalk"

#5895 (133)

<ackbar> marriage is like buying a car. Its better to lease them and get a new one next year

#5900 (231)

<madvirii> you gotta wake up with a certain "attitude" to face the day and lick some asshole
<CoMBo> yeah or grow up eating some really shitty cooking to acquire a taste for anus
<madvirii> yes anus would be an acquired taste
<madvirii> not something you instinctively put to your mouth

#5902 (868)

<The_Roach> I hear you're pissed.
<A|exander> who told you that
<The_Roach> Anton said you went to the pub.
<A|exander> does it necessarily follow that i'm pissed?
<The_Roach> ...
<The_Roach> Well, yes.
<A|exander> well, it turns out you;'re right
<A|exander> but don't be so presumptious in future

#5903 (196)

<Gir> Final Fantasy: The Bible Adventure Coming to DVD
<Toen> what the hell is that?
<Gir> hehe
<Toen> "Cecil, deliver baby Moses! Please do not throw him into the water!"

#5914 (200)

<kriticall> i can fold the $20 to look like two naked chicks

#5918 (486)

<base2> linux people think of windows more times a day than I think of sex

#5920 (37)

[Wz0Ds] hello i want some root i got a lots of CCs (verified) and 2 or 3 virgins /msg me (I HAVE TO VER/RIP FIRST)