#950977
(1023)<hextasy> so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. #951001
(1392)<@Kropotkin> I hate looting corpses for anything other than an upgrade. I usually just loot the gold and small items... just feels more realistic to do that than strip someone naked all the time. I mean, this is Skyrim, not Baltimore. #951040
(304)<mjew1> new speakers showed up <mjew1> gotta figure out how im gonna wire them up <bunni> you put + in to +, and - in to - <mjew1> i know that <bunni> dont mix them up, otherwise the audio would be backwards <mjew1> fuck you <bunni> :D #951043
(-59)< pthreads> dude, I haven't even had a fucking oven for a year < pthreads> we move in 2 weeks to a place that has an oven finally <@sakuramboo> but, you live in germany <@sakuramboo> after WW2, ovens are hard to find #951096
(371)<izi_> I like my servers like I like my women. monochrome and text only. #951217
(471)<i_c-Y> im not just hard. im np hard, baby. #951260
(664)<mgodzilla> I was a r&d micro electronics engineer tech. in my youth. * mgodzilla designed this dc to dc power supply they put on a satellite <Elephark> awesome * mgodzilla sent the satellite into orbit and lost contact w/ it <Elephark> at least it was powered <mgodzilla> they said it was mostly likely due to a power issue. <Elephark> ...oh <mgodzilla> I was like - what are you lookin' at me for?!? #951292
(8)xGrill: SQL is like the chess of the programming world #951317
(1023)<ram> I got into an interesting discussion with my roommate yesterday about Quantum Romneyism <ram> Romney holds a superposition of all political opinions until you observe him, then they collapse based on the audience. #951402
(796)*** bluntonio is now known as bluntplane <bluntplane> i have the worst goddamn neighbor on this plane <bluntplane> dude keeps scratching his fungus-infected foot and shit <bluntplane> and his balls <bluntplane> and then touches his face <bluntplane> has his legs crossed so his shoeless-foot is dangerously close to my leg (wearing shorts) <bluntplane> i'm about to tell him if his foot touches me again we're going to have a problem <bluntplane> in civil disobedience protest i am attempting to fart a lot <bluntplane> he is so fucking nasty <bluntplane> i want to stab him in the throat <bluntplane> a lot <bluntplane> as in, i both want a lot to stab him in the throat <bluntplane> and i would like to stab him in the throat a lot <bluntplane> i would also be okay if he died of aids <bluntplane> or anything else other than a plane crash <bluntplane> but most especially by a stab to the throat <bluntplane> stab(s) <bluntplane> oh and he is now picking his nose <bluntplane> oh fuck me <bluntplane> here is the crown jewel <bluntplane> dude just went into the bathroom in his socks <bluntplane> THIS NASTY MOTHERFUCKER <bluntplane> I HOPE YOU DIE <bluntplane> i would piss in this guy's face if i could <bluntplane> i would piss in his wife <bluntplane> YEA KEEP PICKING THAT FUCKER AND WIPING ON YOUR PANTS <bluntplane> MAYBE YOU WILL FIND SOME SHAME UP IN THERE <bluntplane> if i murder this fuck, will you guys kick in for bail ? <bluntplane> also, is "he needed killing" a valid defense ? <bluntplane> and finally, if I murder him on the plane while in the air, what state has jurisdiction ? *** Signoff: bluntplane (Read error: Connection reset by peer) <spook> Federal <nordberg> so.. is bluntonio in jail? <nordberg> cause... I'll totally chip for bail #951442
(92)<Goune> the other day i saw the headline : 'woman beats off rapist' and i thought..... <Goune> that seems like a reasonable compromise #951697
(1008)<m0bi_work> what is the "care for the comfort of a dying person" called <hydro-> euthanasia <Chaosbreaker> Microsoft terminal service #951798
(889)<LocalDescriptorTable> Hey Russia I just met you and this is crazy but our space agency is broke launch our shit maybe? #952942
(1051)<dr2chase> As I said to someone else, back when the Lite-Brite Mooninites panicked the Boston Police, the first rule of making a bomb, is to not make it look like a bomb. <dr2chase> That's why IEDs get buried, stuffed into dead dogs, what have you. Around here, if you wanted to hide a bomb in plain sight, you'd stick it in a crumpled Dunkin Donuts bag. <anony> Isn't a Dunkin Donuts bag the first place a cop would look? #952943
(809)* dagdamor psychs himself up to play "which cable goes where" and "why is this cable routed like this?" ahead of a switch stack replacement <dagdamor> deja vu etc <evil_steve> you can generally tell if it's important. <evil_steve> either a) all the phone start ringing at once, or b) all the phones go silent at once #952948
(1265)<gmaxwell> 1960: "I have a great idea! lets have every person in the country carry a radio tracking beacon!" "That'll never fly!" 2012: "I can has TWO iphones??" #952951
(1447)<zalzane> I wonder how long it will end up taking for all this pony shit to blow over <Mutagene> too long <pkmnBlue> 2 years <zalzane> sailor moon took like 10 years <zalzane> and every once in awhile I still hear fags harp about sailor moon <pkmnBlue> DUDE <pkmnBlue> SAILOR MOON IS AWESOME <Mutagene> sailor moon was good though :( <pkmnBlue> Kuraitou: SAILOR MOON <zalzane> oh my fucking god #952952
(1272)< CoJaBo> Update: The object seen landing near Gale Crater on MSD 49,269 at around 05:50:16 AMT local time has been conclusively identified by the Martian Space Agency to be a weather balloon. Due to possible radioactive contamination, Mars citizens are forbidden to approach Gale Crater until further notice. #953085
(127)<swarthy15> I'm sweating like Gary Glitter in Mothercare #953113
(79)<@Faer|afk> what is good dubstep <Rashy> dialup modem #953150
(250)<rad_ed> NOOOOOO i didn't want to do that no no no no <Sharkd> what? <rad_ed> i added honey boo boo to my google news section <rad_ed> no no no no how do i undo #953205
(433)*** valinhorn has joined #oregoons <coyo7e> Immediately, she realizes that Christian Grey is not some ancient forty-year old dude, practically crumbling to dust atop his icy blonde empire, but a very hot young man: <coyo7e> So young - and attractive, very attractive. He's tall, dressed in a fine gray suit, white shirt, and black tie with unruly dark copper colored hair and intense, bright gray eyes that regard me shrewdly. <coyo7e> That... is one hell of a tie. I'm going to have to ask someone, please, look into the kindness and the goodness of your soul and photoshop me a picture of a black tie with Robert Pattinson's hair and eyes stuck on it, gazing at me shrewdly. <valinhorn> um <valinhorn> wow *** valinhorn left #oregoons [] #953228
(86)Felix the Cat: Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; that which cometh out of the mouth defileth a man. (Matthew 15:11) Felix the Cat: huzzah i can continue to suck cocks mr peabody: you read the bible a lot mr peabody: for being a heathen who is going to hell Felix the Cat: all i know is apparently the bible says swallow, don't spit Felix the Cat: A+ advice imo #953373
(632)(~roopurt) there is an article on the washington post "why is the arab world so easily offended" (~roopurt) i think it might offend the arab world (~roopurt) but really (~roopurt) one person puts up a youtube video and they riot and kill (~roopurt) the rest of world didnt come after canada after justin biebers last video #953413
(5001)<%wgluv2hunt> I was in a bar Saturday night, and had a few drinks. <%wgluv2hunt> I noticed two large women by the bar. They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?" <%wgluv2hunt> One of them screamed, "It's Wales you idiot!" <%wgluv2hunt> So, I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from Ireland?" <%wgluv2hunt> That's all I remember.