#948442 (1212)
<blaxthos> so tonight i got roped into going to some evangelical church christmas dinner theatre
<blaxthos> "oh christmas, carol!"
<cue> evangelicals are morons
<blaxthos> it was absolutely godawful
<blaxthos> until the last musical number, where the main character realized she has a hole in her heart
<blaxthos> and sang a song entitled "i'm going to fill my hole with jesus"
#948538 (719)
<girl> so what's new?
<jsn> just got out of an abusive relationship
<girl> whoa, what happened?
<jsn> decided to stop abusing her
#948541 (1417)
<drunkill> fuck printers
<drunkill> I should name mine Bob Marley
<drunkill> Because its always jammin'
#948683 (657)
<Yokujou`> iPhone autocorrect: Because "Asperger's Cock" is exactly what you were trying to convey.
#948693 (622)
<mrfun> speaking of max, i boned a duck
<hamumu> are you sure you're speaking of max?
<mrfun> took most of yesterday to bone and do two anims, geez
<mrfun> but he's limping around in torque
<hamumu> this is sounding worse every sentence
#948884 (1886)
<&Siyo> i successfully stopped a print job once
<&Siyo> AM I GOD?
#949197 (5183)
<blaxthos> you want bash.org should participate in the SOPA blackout protest on 18 January ? (+) for yes
#949214 (993)
<azonenberg> wordpress is an unauthenticated remote shell that, as a useful side feature, also contains a blog
#949335 (227)
<M07w> you haven't been on the internet until you've seen a disembodied breast wearing a pair of panties
#949412 (938)
<Kerrija> On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
#949439 (1293)
lemonlimeskull: Newt Gingrich or Mitt Romney to take on Barack Obama.
lemonlimeskull: We have to stop letting George Lucas name our Politicians.
#949486 (480)
<Me> the nigerian prince scam is old
<Me> today you do it like this:
<Me> hi, im an arabic dictator, and i have to get my vast fortune outside the country soon
#949560 (2582)
<lrvick> whoa
<lrvick> i just found a usb magstrip reader
<lrvick> i never knew i had
<lrvick> i wonder if it works like a keyboard...
<lrvick> %B4744740232448132^VICK/LANCE R^1506101000000000087800878000000?;4744740232258132=15061010000000000878?
<lrvick> well
<lrvick> damn
<lrvick> apparently it does
<Science> What did we just read?
<lrvick> no comment
<Science> CC info, gotcha
<ThantiK> lrvick...
<ThantiK> you swiped a VISA...
<ThantiK> 4744 is VISA start code for credit cards.
<ThantiK> A bank of america one, specifically.
<ThantiK> Might wanna change that now, lol - all of us probably have IRC logging turned on.  You just threw your debit card info into all of our machines.
<Science> WELL NO ONE WOULD HAVE KNOWN IF YOU HADN'T SAID IT MAN
#949621 (2930)
Rachel: I'm board.
Jeff: I'm chalk, we should get together.
Rachel: BOARD! Like I don't have anything to do, not BORD, like a chalkbord. Learn to spellcheck.
Jeff: Oh god I hope you don't breed.
#949643 (1161)
<hafiz> <b>hello</b>
<hafiz> I NEED ZEND EXPERT!!!!!!!!!!!
<zomg> <blink>that so</blink>
<DASPRiD> <marquee>what for?</marquee>
<zomg> <font size="1337">Please ask your question on the channel, not in my PM</font>
<zomg> I really, really hope his irc client actually displays html
#949797 (1214)
<@cougem> at 4am this morning i got a call from another hospital saying they were sending in a patient with a hole in their aorta
<@cougem> which as emergencies go is about 1 level below 'his head has fallen off'
#949802 (380)
<hq1> i promised myself not to touch java EVER in my life again, i'd rather drive a taxi
#949924 (-24)
<Grimhound> You know. You'd think that the human body, being the product of millions of years of evolution, would eventually learn to dull pain when it becomes a chronic thing.
<ryzorg> that seems true
<@AndrewPH> that would be counter productive
#949959 (3438)
<DevXen> Today I was at the store and saw a Darth Vader action figure that said "Choking Hazard." It was great.
#950581 (1774)
< Ergo^> Six Stages of Debugging
< Ergo^> 1. That can't happen.
< Ergo^> 2. That doesn't happen on my machine.
< Ergo^> 3. That shouldn't happen.
< Ergo^> 4. Why does that happen?
< Ergo^> 5. Oh, I see.
< Ergo^> 6. How did that ever work?
< MatthewWilkes> 7. svn blame
< miniwark> 8. one day we will write tests
#950832 (651)
<benjameno> how do i catch autism
<benjameno> i've tried speaking esperanto and using free open source software but it doesn't seem to be working
#950879 (338)
* Andaith has changed topic for #warble to: "Drought in the UK means:  It's still raining, but not as much as we'd like."
#950902 (867)
<TrailMix> Sorry Santorum, you have to carry your dead presidential campaign to full term.
#950920 (1224)
<Uprising> I just want to work somewhere that actually counts
<jamesstanley> try the office for national statistics
#950944 (768)
<Toba> i like my coffee like i like my women: earthy, french, and on my desk at work
<nightshroud> But be careful or you may end up with burning pain on your lap area.