#946461
(1701)<@joosa> how do you say float in java? just 1.5f? <@Gliptic> FloatFactoryFactory.getInstance(FloatFactoryFactory.defaultInstanceDescriptionString).getFactory(Locale.getLocale("en-US")).createBuilder().setString("1.5").getResult() #946520
(477)Matt: I AM QUERY OPTIMIZATION GUY Matt: AND THIS... IS MY QUERY Andy: wha?... WHO TOUCH MY QUERY?! Matt: WHO TOUCHED MY JOINS!!?? Matt: Some users think they can outsmart me. Maybe... maybe. I have yet to meet one who can outsmart LIMIT. Matt: She weighs in at 300 lines of SQL and she searches 8 million rows per second. It costs 24 billion machine cycles to run this query... for 12 seconds. #946687
(604)<h00k> making a twitter bot to watch a timeline of a certain (prominent public figure, politician) and tell him he had [x] amount of characters left when he tweets <h00k> 'went 2 $place 2 talk about r jobs' <h00k> Dear @personsname, you had [x] characters remaining and didn't have to shorten it so much. #pleasestop' #946729
(225)<@RATA> stupid women <@RATA> "i wanna hang out but i dont have gas money" <@RATA> thats slut for "spend your money on me" #946740
(407)<vanguard> i lie awake at night <vanguard> thinking about how one day <vanguard> buy some chance of dumb luck <Redback> you will write your whole story on one line? #946745
(1365)<Vrooom> while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" #946779
(53)<Faust> lol <Faust> when sarah pailn wishes me happy new year it feels like a hate crime <lumpy_> you arent a jew <Faust> the fuck im not <lumpy_> ive never seen you at the meetings #947055
(1830)<@gongoputch> so my 12 year old has been BEGGING me for a minecraft server. I told him 'OK', he said YEA!', I say 'but you have to install the OS (FreeBSD), configure it, set up a jail and generally learn enough to admin it. <@gongoputch> he hates me now <@gongoputch> BUT - he got it running :) <@gongoputch> after it was going, he looked up at me and said 'This OS is the logical thing I have ever seen' <@gongoputch> ... it's little moments like those ... #947426
(413)<megate> solve <megate> The word has 7 letters, preceded by God, greater than God, more evil than the devil, and if you eat it, you will die. <+Jigsy> Apple only has six letters. #947444
(2501)// // Dear maintainer: // // Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine, // and have realized what a terrible mistake that was, // please increment the following counter as a warning // to the next guy: // // total_hours_wasted_here = 25 // #947449
(-192)<blaxthos> so what are you guys doing for pedophile christmas^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hhalloween this year? #947562
(1415)<@red> so let me rephrase that <@red> you showed up at work completely high on acid and your boss didnt fire you because he knows you code better when youre on drugs? <@bl00e> pretty much #947873
(84)<+zubby> strawberry barium shake anyone? * Heartsbane passes. * zubby just did, too... <+zubby> had me drink 2 24oz cups of it. fell in love with the nurse. <+zubby> she kept pulling her phone out... i couldn't mimic... <+zubby> she asked if i knew how to hack facebook cuz she 'likes to snoop' * Heartsbane nods. <+zubby> as we said our goodbyes she let her hair down and i swear it was in slow motion <+zubby> should i have added the part that i'm shitting what appears to be milk and clay? #947876
(2294)<socket7> I was sitting on the train this morning opposite a really sexy Thai girl. I thought to myself, "Please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection. <socket7> But she did :( #947908
(889)<Quizzer> Question 45: What are the first three digits of pi? <emai420> pie <emai420> p i e <emai420> Pie <emai420> P I E <emai420> PIE <emai420> PIE <emai420> PIE <Quizzer> Hint: 3. <emai420> 3PIE <emai420> 3 P I E <emai420> 3pie <Quizzer> Time's up, the answer was 3.14! <emai420> this si retartet #947918
(154)< Maiden945> oh that reminds me, i got told a story about Jerub on the weekend :) < dawnstar> it's probably true < Maiden945> i was told about the time Jerub did a burnout (or tried to :P) out of a ex-gf's street while they were dating lol < zero> he must have pedalled like crazy for that #947920
(433)<&Cenobite> I'd like to holiday in China <&Cenobite> I want to see the great firewall <+user> haha <+user> you can see it from myspace <+flying_purple_people_eater> lol <&Cenobite> user: haha #947980
(636)<Brownie> That guy's such a nerd, his first words probably were "Hello World!" #947988
(575)<skydrome> man why are there so many diff aur packages of chromium :/ so confusing <xhazk> skydrome: No manual entry for why are there so many diff aur packages of chromium :/ so confusing #948110
(2037)<Matt> A catholic priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. <Matt> He orders a beer. #948243
(312)Captain Morgan: I swear I'm going to kill whoever lives above me Saiu: the chair again? Captain Morgan: it's like he's playing ddr with combat boots Captain Morgan: and jumping as hard as he can Captain Morgan is now Away. Saiu: uh-oh #948253
(206)<+GeoFrey> CINCINNATI - A court official in the U.S. says a 13-year-old boy charged with raping a 5-year-old girl at a McDonald's play area is denying the accusation. <+GeoFrey> lol wtf? <+farted> I'm lovin' it #948269
(436)<jeemer> you know, come to think of it i already have a 5 gallon aquarium <jeemer> hundreds of billions of pets <jeemer> i feed them malt and they shit out alcohol <jeemer> its a pretty good system actually #948420
(558)<tfair> is there an amazon service that will have something delivered to you at a random point in the next month? <tfair> or in the next year? <dRdR> tfair: that's called USPS #948428
(375)Psyche: My roommate and her boyfriend broke up recently. Psyche: This morning a moving truck came to get the boyfriend's stuff. Psyche: On the side of the moving truck? It was an ad for a disaster cleanup company.