#953421 (184)
lemonlimeskull: I keep getting spam e-mail from a company trying to convince me I owe them for search engine listing services. They send an actual invoice for me to print and fax to them.
lemonlimeskull: It's their own fault, really, that I faxed them a photo-to-ASCII image of a hand giving the middle finger.
killjay: lol bet they were PISSED
lemonlimeskull: They will be if they lay out all 54 pages in the correct sequence.
#953447 (77)
plas: Friendly cats will head-but or head rub and will extend this into a full body rub. Cats will also head-butt and body-rub their humans. The nose-bump is another friendly greeting.
lemonlimeskull: Even friendlier cats will offer a paw job.
#953518 (2979)
<No_One> Damn my land mine collection is gone.
<No_One> Also so is my shed
<No_One> That's gonna be fun in the morning
15 minutes later.
<No_One> Fuck afk police pulled in
<Dwarf> k
<Dwarf> have fun
10 minutes later.
<No_One> Shiit
<No_One> Someone broke into my shed
<No_One> They won't do that again
3 hours later.
<No_One> Can I be charged with criminal negligence even if the said deceased person used bolt cutters to access something that killed them?
<noregister> I doubt it
<No_One> Good
#954091 (46)
< hyntty> Erik: what is cat in dutch?
<+Erik> kat
< PeriSoft_> fucking crazy language
< hyntty> kankerkat ;|7<
<+Erik> With the A pronounced as the A in 'what'.
< PeriSoft_> it's spelled 'kat', but it's probably pronounced 'voorslphtn'
#954101 (262)
<Maastonakki> we are sending hamburgers to space now
<Maastonakki> not sure if I want to live on this planet anymore
<@r4w> especially if all the burgers are in space!
#954103 (435)
<Mikael_Kreoss> reading the "stupid shit you believed as a kid" thread
<Mikael_Kreoss> it owns
<Mikael_Kreoss> reminded me of the time as a kid I saw a pic of the pope's bubble car thing
<Mikael_Kreoss> and thought it was meant to keep him in
<Mikael_Kreoss> like he was a monster or w/e
<Vanadium> hahaha
<Mikael_Kreoss> on display
<&Attilla> ahahahah
<Mikael_Kreoss> "WE CAUGHT THE POPE" and then celebration time
<Drakkar> hahaha
#954104 (157)
<Sheep> Cat owners - Do you ever find that you're stroking your cat and suddenly everything feels like a tasty chicken dinner?
#954106 (206)
<[k]> you got a vivid imagination, like me.
<[k]> i can respect that
<HardDisk> you have no idea the stuff I've done
<HardDisk> [k], have you ever been so stoned that if you were jerking off while eating a kitkat then all of a sudden you feel a salty taste in your mouth and because your so high at this point you cant tell whether the kitkat chocolate bar was expired or if that if you creamed into your mouth without noticing?
#954111 (179)
<@Steempy> Any lettuce that isn't iceberg needs to fuck off back to Russia
<@Steempy> Goddamn communist hipster lettuce
#954118 (190)
<Bushman> heh, those voice commands in mobile phones...
<Bushman> say "text *contact_name* message *message_text*"
<Bushman> or "email *contact_name* subject *message_subject* message *message_text*"
<Bushman> what if... just what if... the guy's name is Mr.Message or Mr.Subject?
<Bushman> :D
<Bushman> facebook.com/john.message.9
<Bushman> facebook.com/john.subject
#954127 (631)
<er0s> if i was a porn director, i'd randomly cut to eye contact with the male actor
<er0s> to freak out whoever is watching
<er0s> maybe have him smile slightly too
#954147 (545)
Fatthew Mupples: i imagine a large part of romanian and chinese cultures revolves around typing ssh root@random.ip
#954153 (226)
<Silent> I see that many designers are using Macs to draw. I was wondering what's wring with Windows and Linux, and that's why I asked.
<G-Money> Silent
<G-Money> mac's are for creative people
<G-Money> if we use non-macs, we lose our creativity
<G-Money> its part of owning a mac
<Silent> In what sense?
<G-Money> are a you a man of god Silent?
<G-Money> in the biblical tale with samson and delilah
<G-Money> samson loses his power when delilah, who was a whore btw, cut his hair
<G-Money> its somewhat like a mac
#954155 (293)
<Ishimura> woah
<Ishimura> finger is apparently functional cross-platform
<SilentPenguin> yeah, users understand the finger irrespective of the operating system they are using
#954159 (259)
Blade: "it was extremely unusual and we really wanted to find out why this thing had - what we call - burst"
Blade: please explain this obscure phenomenon known as burst
Blade: to the laypeople like myself
Blade: i don't understand this parlance
Blade: technical jargon isn't my forte
Blade: scientific lingo baffles me
#954171 (307)
<Cob|afk>: fellows
<Cob|afk>: let's chill
<Cob|afk>: and be friends
<jasper>: why
<Cob|afk>: because i'll fucking stab you if you don't
#954174 (322)
<+Zuu> i think i want to stop doing college and become a mechanic
<@bazl> i forbid it
<+Zuu> why
<@bazl> because every word in that sentence was spelled correctly
#954177 (412)
ND: My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
#954186 (677)
<@i_c-Y> i had a nightmare yesterday that i bought 3 licenses of norton antivirus
#954190 (556)
<Prometheus> Are you made of Copper and Tellurium
<Prometheus> because youre CuTe
<Cruel> Are you made of holmium and molybdenum
#954191 (268)
<aubnorch> how was I unaware of usb onaholes until now
<aubnorch> you plug them in to your computer and load up profiles of your favorite 2d waifus and they -change-
<flesy> are u trying to fuck a  usb port
#954192 (406)
<%rundata> man my wifes read that 50 shades of grey
<Karnaksbitch> Aw god ur al makin me cringe
<%rundata> she was like "have you heard of fisting?"
<%rundata> ive seen women shoulder deep in other women
#954195 (193)
<LeelooMinai> Hmm, that Ian guy from Dangerous Prototypes is kind of weird...
<IanWizard-Cloud> LeelooMinai: hmm?
<LeelooMinai> E, right... well... my cat wrote that - nm:p
#954197 (508)
<DJMonty> Shit
<DJMonty> Just fell over holding my guitar, and accidentally played every song One Direction have ever written
#954201 (373)
<danh> interviewing a fat guy
<danh> do we hire him
<pbuckley> does he have a beard?
<danh> nope
<pbuckley> then no