#910226
(551)<HNS> Sometimes I wish my mind wasn't so quick to racist thoughts. I saw a group of about 7 black people at Taco Bell and my first thought was "KFC is that way." #911227
(975)<Computer> this weekend i learned that one of my had-been best friends has become clinically insane <Computer> talking to her was one of the more disturbing experiences i have had in a long time <Computer> i went home that night and was too depressed to come outside again <Mousey> is she single? #911246
(2059)<cirrhosis> GODDAMN IT TO FUCKING HELL <cirrhosis> WTF....MAN, I OUGHTTA JUST GO FUCKING SHOOT MYSELF <cirrhosis> jesus fucking christ <dolph72> ? <cirrhosis> wife just told me she's prego <dolph72> Dont shoot yourself <dolph72> Shoot the asshole that did it #912051
(844)Jorja: i once saw a building with the '404' number and it was shut down Jorja: i laughed #912101
(3299)x-c0n: Dude I was so drunk last night.. apparently this girl said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered, "Simba". #912262
(1013)Chris: well, I only watched Twilight once, so it doesn't really count. Mr. Mann: Oh? Chris: 1st time doesn't count, 2nd means you're curious, 3rd time and after means you're a faggot. Chris: my uncle said that Chris: but I think he was talking about buttsex Mr. Mann: So basically the same thing ;) #913014
(992)<blaxthos> this just in <blaxthos> waiting on long sql queries < * <beakman> write better queries. <beakman> :D <loon> OH SNAP <loon> point - beakman <blaxthos> deleting 17million rows takes a long time no matter how you slice it <loon> finally removing all the racist quotes on bash.org? #913498
(2205)<Fattie> I'm fuckin hungry gonna go make some food <Fattie> if I DC call 911, I probably burned down the kitchen <[FKU]Greycloak> "Hello? 911? I'd like to report a fire at 74.12.122.225" #913674
(1905)<@loans> what client are you using <sessilenomad> IRC... <@loans> that's not a client <sessilenomad> idk what client im using then <@loans> that's like me asking 'what ISP are you using' and you saying 'internet explorer' <sessilenomad> ooooh <sessilenomad> firefox #913842
(-573)T: that Haitian earthquake is a bad one T: even the Presidential Palace was destroyed c: Yeah, nothing was left but two wheels and an axle #914142
(219)*** pipes changed the topic of kiwicon to: - Kiwicon marketing department back in action! < rauc> good topic < pipes> many people in here will know what that means ;) < rauc> ok...I do not really know what it means, but I am glad to see Kiwicon run again. Let me know if I can help < pipes> rauc: first time we did kiwicon < pipes> no one wrote any stories < pipes> so we wrote our own < pipes> and kind of xss'd em into major news sites #914350
(1796)<Travis> Why don't you just keep your hair brown? <Alex> It's not brown <Alex> It's auburn <Travis> What the fuck is Auburn? <Alex> ... <Rex> He's a guy, he only sees like 10 colours or something, don't do this to him. #914496
(641)<addendum> !down KorMc <spodbeet> KorMc (X.X.X.X) Dling "TL.iso" 4GB out of 7Gb at 10 Mbps <addendum> DAYNG * gnork orgasms <gorb> holy shit man, how do you get that? <gorb> i thought you live in the countryside <KorMc> i do <addendum> what the HELL man? <KorMc> you know the dude who opened the diner next to me? <bangalore> Peter somethingsome? <KorMc> yeah him <KorMc> he got cable for some god-forsaken reason <KorMc> so i's stealin' from him <gnork> how the hell did he not catch you yet <KorMc> the guy knows nothing about computors <KorMc> So he hired me to "calculate the injectors and administrate the whatevers" #914636
(1216)<Roderick> the book I am reading, You Shall Know Our Velocity!, is one of those books you can't rush <ninda42> is the subtitle for that book But you Shall never know our Position! ? #914637
(-477)WS-R| SmileyFaceOfAwesome: pro tip don't use photoshop when you could get the same effect in pain WS-R| SmileyFaceOfAwesome: t Bobv2: How do you draw while in pain? WS-R| SmileyFaceOfAwesome: MS PAINT Bobv2: THATSTHEJOKEFGT.JPG WS-R| SmileyFaceOfAwesome: OPEN FILE ASIANPENIS.JPG: FILE IS EITHER TOO SMALL OR CORRUPT TO BE RUN: Bobv2: ... Bobv2: words cannot describe the win #914686
(273)<blaxthos> I AM RECOMMENDING WE REPLACE "CASUAL FRIDAYS" WITH "ALL CAPS FRIDAYS" AT WORK #915082
(3509)<t0mato> anyone here knows how fast will my computer run after a registry cleaning? <x5ga> We have a formula to calculate the percentage of speed gained <x5ga> (E*c/100)*a <x5ga> E is the number of errors cleaned <x5ga> c is the number of cores your CPU has <x5ga> a is 0 #915530
(918)<Asday> Hey, the amount of bash quotes has gone down... <iddo> ? <Asday> Was 20720. Now it's 20718. <iddo> could you have less of a life? <Asday> I try. #915703
(2165)<Dakara> what's the name of that disease when you can't stop masturbating? <amaury> the Y chromosome #915759
(-325)<Alex> I come in from a night out, pissed. And suddenly I turn into Gordon Ramsay #915822
(596)<derp>I'm pretty sure bash moderators just ctrl-f every quote for "penis, sex, masturbate, bash, nigger," and anything that doesn't generate a hit is rejected. They probably have an automated script, in fact. #916079
(1051)Takargi: Perfect weekend for me. Liverpool beat the Bitters with 10 men, England win at Rugby and Freddie's first words are Daddie ;) Takargi: Freddie was looking at the milkman at the time though which is worrying... #916080
(1117)<SaxxonPike> Had some crazy kid running around flailing his arms around come up to me and shout "GUESS WHAT! I'M ONE IN A MILLION!" <SaxxonPike> One million is a small portion of the world population. So I shouted back "THAT MEANS THERE'S ABOUT 7,000 MORE OF YOU HYPER FUCKS RUNNING AROUND" #916238
(666)<Papabear> "keep out, i'm naked" is a bad thing to hear when you knock at your 12 year old sisters room, trying to get your notebook back <Papabear> worse is if the answer is the same 20 min after <Old> Worst is if ya find an entry for stickam in ya history afterwards #916256
(-156)<Orang> Dude, this is weird, I just put an apple next to my Mac and it made a weird noise without me touching anything. <Joshtrap> My PC does the same thing when I take a shit by it.