#916519 (2855)
<Velkyr> Why is it when your wife or girlfriend gets pregnant, all her friends rub her belly and say "congratulations!"
<Velkyr> But nobody rubs your dick and says "Good Job"?
#916582 (2181)
(omfg): whats the most sensitive part of a persons body when they are masturbating ?
(TypoKing): idk
(omfg): their ears
(omfg): listening for ppl coming home
#916740 (3033)
<prote> apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
#916932 (3604)
<ChaosTeacup> playing fucking?
<ChaosTeacup> fucking isnt a game, its a very very serious sport
<Chiri> it can be quite competitive
<ChaosTeacup> although its best if you end in a draw
<Chiri> but the professional leagues aren't very respected as a career path
<ChaosTeacup> its best to play in the minors
<ChaosTeacup> wait
<ChaosTeacup> no
#917215 (1348)
AxelDesade: Good god, I need a life.
Colty: Why's that?
AxelDesade: I was entertained for over an hour today by refreshing a captcha until it said something funny or made a cool band name.
#917561 (1773)
<Rei> What's Microsoft Works?
<K> An oxymoron.
#917649 (170)
<blaxthos> sarah palin has issued a statement of condolence regarding the recent earthquake in chili, and stated her concern for potential price-gouging of baby back ribs
#917681 (757)
<incluye> OH! Shit it's your birthday, isn't it.
<thom> Yeh
<incluye> I have something for you.
<thom> Really?!
<incluye> Yeah.
<incluye> localhostr.com/files/a19ydd/q.gif
<thom> WTF
<thom> It's just an animation of some dude getting a rag tied around his face
<incluye> I know.
<incluye> It's a gag gif.
* You have been kicked from the channel by thom (never speak to me again)
#918246 (-131)
<~Danke> trolling or not you can't expect me to link me to furry porn and say "oh VoiDeD, that's good that you've found something you're interested in"
#918303 (1206)
<L-dawg> lol, I was 10 years old and figured out how sex works from the electronic coupling naming convention
<L-dawg> damn electrical engineers
#918366 (1674)
<sje46> I avoid sex the same way I avoid bullets
<sje46> I haven't had the chance to
#918414 (2123)
digicow: I'm gonna train my children to say sudo instead of please
#918433 (783)
JxJ: im sleepy and I need something to pick me up, what should I drink?
GCa: Well, a  can of coke has about 45 mg of caffeine. A shot, about 90. 8oz drip coffee 180-220. Ice coffee ~250+.
GCa: These are estimates, btw
GCa: My ultimate pick-me-up drink was an iced venti coffee with no ice, add two-three shots, a couple pumps of syrup and top it with cream
GCa: Then I would slam it... INSANE amounts of caffeine
GCa: Approx 16oz (you can get 32oz now) of iced coffee (500mg)+3 shots (270mg)= 770 mg of caffeine, or the equivalent of 17 cans of coke at once
GCa: I used to pull up allnighters on that stuff just to ace finals. never failed anything.
Dorne: shit, at that point caffeine is basically coke
GCa: Don't try to drive while on that.
JxJ: what the hell was your major?
GCa: english
#918504 (334)
Eli:  Today this black kid who acts pretty white was trying to convince me that hes asian cus hes a ninja
Eli: I said
Eli: "ninja please"
Eli: It was awesome.
#918519 (1946)
<Loonacy> Apple dumped the geek/hobbyist market to go after the highly profitable moron/trendy market.
#919561 (3506)
A: > Try playing Quake 4 on an Intel Video card. Let us know how you get on.
B: > It looks as good as on an ATI/Nvidia card so far...
B: > Hang on.. frame 2 is coming up.. yup still looks good.
#919563 (775)
<sean> sec
<sean> SSHing to laptop beacuse I can't be bothered to lift it onto table
#919845 (2982)
<@Ricky> According to BBC News, the father of the Nigerian who attempted to blow up the Delta airliner whilst approaching Detroit had emailed US authorities to warn them about his son's extreme anti American views. This man happened to be a very wealthy banker.
<@Ricky> You can imagine the email arriving at the US Government's offices:
<@Ricky> Good afternoon, I am a wealthy Nigerian banker....
#920036 (1427)
<Flimsy> lert's join the BNP
<Obliriovrons> BMP
<Flimsy> if image formats were political parties, which one would you vote for
<Obliriovrons> Listen, starting a conversation like this is just going to lead to an argument
<Obliriovrons> And I'd hate to get in a tiff over image formats
#920061 (737)
<ryanm> I have cheesecake, how the fuck could I be miserable?!
#920182 (1325)
<commerceheights> wow, I managed to get a syntax error on line 23 of a twenty-line file
#920453 (2451)
<&||bass> GODDAMNIT
<&||bass> i'm searching for how to do something in java
<&||bass> i just checked in google
<&||bass> you know what the results are?
<&||bass> me posting in various forms asking how to fucking do it
#920468 (-64)
<IDTL> but dude there were babessss
<genida> IDTL, that's very often a warning sign.
<genida> "Girls will be there." = "Girls will be laughing in your face..."
<Malikat> when girls laugh
<Malikat> their breasts jiggle.
<Malikat> everyone wins.
<IDTL> oh man I never thought of that
<IDTL> What if they are flatchested?
<Malikat> then they shouldn't be happy
<Malikat> they probably won't be happy
<Malikat> in fact, flat chested women never laugh at a party
<Malikat> because they know no man will ever love them.
#920473 (3650)
lemonlimeskull: One guy keeps following me from chat room to chat room begging to blow me because he found out I live about a half hour away.
lemonlimeskull: Other guy wants to fight me IRL because I posted on a forum that his local band sucks ass.
lemonlimeskull: I'm going to agree to meet the two of them - same location at the same time.
lemonlimeskull: I won't show up, of course - tomorrow one guy will be in the hospital or the other one will be a lot more mellow.
lemonlimeskull: Will keep you posted.
#920525 (1587)
<jaffa> think of the children!
<bobf> oh gimme a break, I've spent *hours* today thinking of the children, my wrist is too sore to do it any longer