#899042
(534)<Nicowl> Read on a Rohypnol packet "Best consume before date" #899702
(536)<vartopia> you're not an alcoholic til you're drinking nail polish and listerine <vartopia> that you shoplifted #899865
(881)serpentine9: why doesnt bash.org ever accept my quotes DaveIt: bash.org has a strict policy of only accepting quotes that are either unoriginal or related to bash.org-rejection-induced frustration. DaveIt: This quote happens to be both, so we have a decent shot. #899898
(651)Alex: So I was in the doctors yesterday, when my time came a large woman walked out of his room and I walked in. He said 'God bless her, I just confirmed to her that she was morbidly obese.' Alex: I wasn't too sure what to say, but replied 'You shouldn't have told her that, the poor woman has enough on her plate.' #899957
(210)<sparks333> no see, women in engineering are like parking spaces <sparks333> the good ones are taken and the rest are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out there <pikachu> or handicapped #900016
(982)thrasher: I'm thinking of starting a business in california thrasher: it would be a socialist abortion clinic and pot dispensary, with new gay marriage chapel kthxglhf: And dry cleaning thrasher: why dry cleaning? kthxglhf: so u can reuse coat hangers #900148
(5748)* Vesper is now known as CodyB <Teku> why the nick change? <CodyB> I'm teaching this hot chick how to use IRC <xanatos> ...why <CodyB> I got grounded for two weeks and I can't call anyone. I figured I could talk to her here, at least. <CodyB> be cool, I'm teaching her about channels and she might come in here <xanatos> how did you get grounded <CodyB> I locked my sister outside for three hours. <xanatos> i bet she didnt like that * StacyF has joined #randomshit <CodyB> yeah I thought my parents were going to kill me <CodyB> oh hey, there you are <Teku> So you had sex with your sister on your parents bed and they walked in on you? Wow Cody, you're lucky you only got grounded for two weeks. <StacyF> eeew you sick fuck * StacyF has left #randomshit <Teku> I know you're going to kill me later, but it was so worth it <CodyB> you motherfucker #900639
(793)(ndrj): anyone good with sound tech here? (ndrj): if i put a pair of cheap mp3 headphones in my PC i get lots of buzzing/electric noise, but if I put decent/expensive pair in i don't. what is it that removes this, what should I be looking for when I buy a pair? :P (decx): the sennheiser logo #901201
(3211)<DrBob> You'll never get it. Men weren't meant to understand women. <Odin> not true. <Odin> I've managed to solve for the fundamental logic operation of women. <DrBob> It's just best to let them do what they want, so they'll let us do stuff to them. <Odin> Nono let me explain. <Odin> Women are fundamentally amplifiers. <Odin> Anything you give them expect to get back multiplied <Odin> give them money you don't have in the form of a credit card, expect a huge debt <Odin> give them a little love, and they'll give you a lot of love back <Odin> give them a little DNA in the bedroom <Odin> and they give you a baby <Odin> So if you give them crap, you'd better be ready to recieve a ton of shit #901460
(2946)<Stormscape> Yo dawg we heard you like Macs so we only put one pedal in your car #901660
(1715)<Andries> jesus if i can run this myspace page i could probs run crysis #901989
(-92)Bkblood: Im such an idiot. There was a quote on bash of someone asking a stupid question and i looked for 30 minutes trying to reply to it :/ #902013
(1211)<Jelena> Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. #902229
(839)Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here! Stranger: [Omegle is required to tell you that you are chatting with a registered sex offender. This message cannot be viewed by Stranger.] Stranger: Hey Stranger: I'm horny You: So it is true what they say about you? #902527
(242)<Error1355>: Cows can feel pain, emotions, depression, etc just the same as us, so why do we have the right not to be hurt and incarcerated and they don't? What makes us so special? If it is our ability to *think* then babies and mentally handicapped adults should have no rights either. Why the discrepancy? <or_something>: well im going to start eating retarded babies to make that person feel better #902573
(1172)<Random> No one knows what it's like .. to be the bad man * Nebi has kicked Random from #deltaanime (Sorry to interupt but I just wanted to say what Beyonce had one of the best video of all time) #902611
(518)<Jared> HI Alpha!!!!OMFG ITS S GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU....HOW WAS YOUR DAY??? <AlphaLemming> I'm frightened. <Jared> what. im being 'chipper' <AlphaLemming> no, you're being psychotic <AlphaLemming> it's a slightly different font #902659
(442)<TheJoeMan> requested old boss as facebook friend, i wanna see what happens <TheJoeMan> maybe she'll finally realize that i'm not on drugs and am actually like that normally #903172
(1474)insomniac: why is it that if you grind corn up into mush, eat it, it shows up as a full kernel in the toilet a few days later? Steelix: He's right. insomniac: what happens in my stomach... mindule: insom: that's very interesting PixelGuru: damn PixelGuru: i pity you when you eat applesauce insomniac: haha #903345
(1294)SayLo2MyLilFren: dude im a genesis ctnpinciotti: ? SayLo2MyLilFren: i found out how you can get by port 25 blocking ctnpinciotti: you're a what? SayLo2MyLilFren: i did it on my cousins computer ctnpinciotti: wait... ctnpinciotti: you're a what? SayLo2MyLilFren: ? ctnpinciotti: genesis? SayLo2MyLilFren: ya ctnpinciotti: ah ok, it all makes sense now. SayLo2MyLilFren: what? #903604
(847)<stc> Pray to God every morning that you can live. <Salman> you should also take a shower every morning so that others can live. #903635
(884)<Merrick> Only reason I ever payed attention in economics was so I could learn how to merchant in Runescape #903821
(1279)<StanM> Pussy is like MP3s <StanM> For every one who pays for it, theres thousands more getting it for free. #904034
(1104)<yalborap> So there're these 'don't start forest fires' commercials telling me to get my smokey on. And all I can think is "If an anthromorphic bear in a pair of jeans and one of those ranger hats comes up and tells me not to set stuff on fire, I probably already did". #904257
(-22)<olaf> there's a retarded kid who picks up coins <olaf> well did when we went to high school <olaf> he would stop for even a penny <olaf> well, my girlfriend at the time had a huuuuge collection jar <olaf> and she brought it to school one morning <olaf> so we could put them all over the place <olaf> and we walked outside to where he was hanging out <olaf> and i pretended to trip and fall <olaf> right in front of him <olaf> and the coins went FUCKING EVERYWHER <olaf> but not only did he pick up all the coins <olaf> he would pick them up 1 at a time <olaf> every time he bent over <olaf> he was there for fucking EVER <olaf> and then my little sister and my friend zac <olaf> on one of the days i was suspended <olaf> superglued a fucking quarter and put it on the ground <olaf> and it got stuck to his hand <olaf> and he was swinging his hand around screaming in his tard voice <olaf> and, apparently <olaf> everyone and their god damned mother laughed for ever <olaf> yeah, i'm a shitty human so what <||bass> you're my hero