<@Sauce> american kids know how to strafe
<@Sauce> american kids know how to strafe
<Richard> I think this may be the case
<Richard> they are like Rush Limbaugh with beards
<Shift_Wreck> So i goes to the grocery store to pick up smokes and a frozen pizza.
<Shift_Wreck> I get my things and head to the 12 items or less line.
<Shift_Wreck> i get in line just as the guy in front of me is setting his items down on the conveyor belt thing
<Shift_Wreck> his items were: get this
<Shift_Wreck> a box of condoms, a medium sized cucumber, a tub of margarine and a 12 pack of beer
<Shift_Wreck> I imediatly am thinking "lolwut?"
<Shift_Wreck> well i couldnt help but make that reverse nasal snort sound you make when your trying to keep from laughing.
<Shift_Wreck> well i couldnt help but make that reverse nasal snort sound you make when your trying to keep from laughing.
<Shift_Wreck> oops
<Shift_Wreck> the guy and cashere must have heard it because they both turn to look at me
<Shift_Wreck> im grinning from ear to ear now and my eyes are darting from the guys face and the items he had on the belt
<Shift_Wreck> i catch the casheirs eye and i look at her and shes looking at me like 0_0 and shaking her head "no dont!"
<Shift_Wreck> this all was a few seconds but it felt like an eternity...
<Shift_Wreck> well i finaly says to myself: "shift, youve gone this far, may as well say something"
<Shift_Wreck> so i say to the guy (still with this huge grin) "going to a party?"
<Shift_Wreck> The girl just loses it and starts laughing
<Shift_Wreck> the guy just scowls at me
<Shift_Wreck> looks to the girl
<Shift_Wreck> and walks away leaving his items there at the checkout
<Shift_Wreck> it was kinda awkward
<Shift_Wreck> pizzas good though
<jaem> what sort of lightning do you have where you live, then?
<lcuk> the sort that used to buffer before striking
SeanieG123: It was a weird dream, and they all agreed and told me there was something wrong with me.
SeanieG123: Anyway, so then my black friend, brandyn, looks at me funny.
SeanieG123: So jokingly, I say to him, "what's wrong? don't you dream when you sleep?"
SeanieG123: He looks at me dead in the eye and says, "hell naw! last nigga who had a dream got shot!"
[Oni] I'm just about out of black ink
[Krypton] printer?
[Oni] No, the type I disperse to run from predators.
<echeese> Man: My program won't work, I must have written it incorrectly.
<echeese> Woman: My program won't work, the computer must hate me. Let's go shopping.
Ironikx: If everyone jumped off a cliff, I'd go to the bottom and steal whatever was in their pockets.
killjay: Unknowingly cyber with a dude?
lemonlimeskull: Nope.
killjay: Knowingly cyber with a dude?
lemonlimeskull: Not as such.
lemonlimeskull: Though when I was a kid, I did try to run an ASCII image of a naked chick through a text-to-speech program, set to female voice.
lemonlimeskull: When she got to "colon colon colon period colon colon colon period period" the moment was gone.
lizbunny11: it's hard to have your head up your ass and your nose in the air at the same time
necrokiss: lol, how so?
linkraceist: in theory, there is nothing wrong with it
linkraceist: but when i try to use it, everything goes wrong
<Neo> it's a pretty horrible idea when you think about it
<Neo> "stop eating animals or we'll keep showing you pics of hot chicks all naked like"
<Neo> yeah, brillant plan there guys
<Sloshed> no thanks
<@baka> i'm intrigued
<@Sadrak> I'd volunteer to do the dishes
<GoldyOrNugget> thats like breaking in to a top secret company to steal a mop
<amb> and then sue kids for unauthorized derivative works
<Herr_apa> It's the Fourier transform of a regular wolf, duh
<a_passerby> they could call it vmwear
<JoePike>: mmmmmffffgghhhhrrrrruuuuuggggg
<daveemt>: WTF was that?
<JoePike>: I dunno. A copy of Hellen Kellers Twitter post?
<daveemt>: jesus
<JoePike>: Yeah, hell will be warm
<Thomas> yeah?
<Narcissus> So you know how Jason is basically a crazy redneck?
<Narcissus> well we were sitting around drinking when he just pipes up "let's go hunting guys!"
<Narcissus> we're in the middle of the city, right, but we're sort of drunk, so me, Mike and Aaron go for it
<Narcissus> We head out to the park, drinking from the camelback of course, and see these fucking geese; Just hundreds of fucking geese sleeping by the river.
<Narcissus> we're just kind of stumbling around laughing, but Jason takes a fence post, UPROOTS the motherfucker, and just Braveheart charges this field of geese
<Narcissus> the geese start going apeshit as he's swinging like mad, just honking like crazy tearing up the river
<Narcissus> the three of us don't know what to do, but three generations of inbreeding sure as hell did. The fucker cracks one of the geese over the head, and it's just frozen, sort of stunned
<Narcissus> without a second of hesitation, Jason grabs his dull ass pocket knife and just pounces on the goose, stabbing wildly, and let me tell you.. there's a fuckton of blood in a goose
<Narcissus> this thing is hemorrhaging blood, completely covering him, but he keeps stabbing it
<Thomas> wtf dude? that's fucking nuts
<Narcissus> just listen, it gets worse
<Narcissus> We are completely dumbfounded, we don't know what the fuck just happened, but we're pretty sure it's extremely illegal
<Narcissus> we decide to wrap up the goose in Aaron's jacket and take it back to the apartments
<Narcissus> so we walk like 3 miles back, and take it to the field by the power station
<Narcissus> Jason's not done though, he takes his dull blade and SKINS THE MOTHERFUCKING GOOSE
<Narcissus> takes out the entrails, the whole nine yards, takes for fucking ever
<Narcissus> at this time Mike is turning pale, he's looking up all the laws we'd broken, and he kept yelling about some security guard watching us
<Narcissus> I told him to stop being paranoid, but he wouldn't let up
<Narcissus> so he grabs the goose and just fucking chucks it, as hard as he can over towards the freeway
<Narcissus> needless to say we were pissed, but we weren't about to spend all night looking for that shit
<Narcissus> So we snuck home, drunk, hungry and defeated
<Thomas> Now that's a fucking adventure
<Narcissus> yeah, I know, but just imagine this episode of cops:
<Narcissus> four college age guys, drunk, walk out of a darkened field in the middle of a city at 3 A.M. after spending several hours working on something, and one of them is COVERED in blood, holding a dull, bloody knife, claiming to have just hunted, skinned, and then completely thrown away an entire goose
<Narcissus> you can't right better shit than that
<Thomas> I don't think we should ever hang out with Jason ever again
<Narcissus> Agreed
< mawlipe> robot sex? that's scary.
< koala_man> I know, that's what I thought
< koala_man> but according to my calculations, a condom of normal thickness has a dielectric strength of at least 780V
< koala_man> meaning if the robot runs on mains and shorts out, you're still protected with a margin of nearly 500V
< mawlipe> ..... not what I meant.
<fishmech_> According to the great 21st Century philosopher xXx_SePhIrOtH127765_xXx,