#848957 (2639)
Nameskaz: can you help me with an experiment real quick?
MarineWife021406: sure
Nameskaz: let me see you naked
MarineWife021406: no
Nameskaz: you see, these fortune cookies are bullshit
Nameskaz: "Your courage will reward you" my ass
#849870 (-419)
<PufF-> think im gonna wait to smoke up til i get to work
<PufF-> i dont like driving high
#849884 (854)
< FurnaceBoy> this is a waste of time
< FurnaceBoy> all he has to do is type what we told him
< Tonren> bluecake: When you run a command in a Linux terminal, it searches your path for the command.  type "echo $PATH" to see where Linux will look for commands you type.
< FurnaceBoy> stop trying to educate, Tonren. this is irc.
< FurnaceBoy> we yell at people
#850065 (6466)
<N> which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen?
<Joker> Neither.
<Joker> Because it's twelve.
#851971 (2056)
<Crucial> whats a quick way to push ipconfig /release, ipconfig /renew to 50 or
so workstations
<Mo> cycle power to the building
#853345 (1948)
<DaMouse> HP should make weaponry
<zid`> nah
<zid`> the ammo would cost more than the gun
#853555 (4083)
<Taki> I swear I just took a dump with well defined anatomical features
<Taki> a long smooth tail and a bunch of little hardened pellets making up a complex head
<Taki> I didn't want to flush it, it's probably the closest thing I'll have to a son
<bryant> I think in the 3 days I've seen you in this channel you've done a better job keeping me in school and off drugs than every authority figure I've met in my entire life.
<Taki> I do what I can
#854262 (3336)
<egof>I'm not that nerdy, I've only seen 30% of the star trek episodes
<kaj>if you know what percentage of the star trek episodes you have seen, you are inarguably nerdy
<egof>it's unarguably
<kaj>you are not helping your case
#854608 (2020)
sterano: Whats the difference between Raid_0 and Raid_1?
Steve: In Raid_0 the zero stands for how many files you are going to get back if something goes wrong.
#854899 (2181)
<MugsyDaFish> i was peeing on the building and a cop rolls up on his bike
<MugsyDaFish> i told him, i hope you're not going to arrest me cuz i don't think ill be able to sit on the handlebars
<MugsyDaFish> i almost went to jail for that
#855953 (-26)
faux978: Awesome conversation
faux978: On the way to the bathroom, my sister spots me "NOOO I HAVE TO PEE"
faux978: "Well, I have to shit"
faux978: "I figured that's why you brought the laptop..."
#856014 (3189)
<taurnil> Something freakin hilarious happened in my chemistry class today
<taurnil> i was asking my teacher about the origins of the element "europium"
<taurnil> i said "So, where does eouropium come from?"
<taurnil> my teacher gives me the most confused look ever, and then slowly says "i don't have any opium"
#856153 (779)
<Kin68ling>   :-pd-:
<Kin68ling> two girls making out
<sadoomed> how do u know its not 2 men?
<Kin68ling> because i still have some faith left in the world
#857335 (2411)
<Sam>: So, that £5 gorgeous sketchbook I bought today? I sit down to do the first page thinking "Oh wow, this is gonna be awesome - I'm gonna fill it with great drawings and keep it forever" and all that shit.
<Sam>: Open the book, thick black ink pen in hand and say "Right, what shall I put on the first page?... Hm, a nice "SKETCHBOOK" with doodles around will do while I wait for inspiration"
<Sam>: I get to "SKETH" and realise I've missed out a C
<Sam>: My heart stops - my lip trembles... Do I rip out the page? No! I'll improvise - I'll turn that C into a H with stripes! Yeah, that works.
<Sam>: Okay, now I can carry on
<Sam>: I finish writing it and have a look at my handiwork
<Sam>: and then I see it
<Sam>: "SKETCBOOK"
<Sam>: Fuck
#857578 (2089)
<jess> So whats the difference between the mormons and the muslims??
<jess> The mormons want their 72 virgins now
#858252 (1024)
Eldragon: seriously the level of public debate in this country is about the same as an elementary school yard
Eldragon: Wolf Blitzer: This just in from the tether ball Court, Obama's friend said Ms. Clinton has cooties.
#858690 (1174)
<@terminal> dudes i must say
<@terminal> it's interesting to start your day off with a morning BJ
<@renounced> you should probably tell the police your step father is molesting you
#858720 (1392)
Master : You know, i just dont want to hurt you with my questions, its just my art to speak directly, so its better if you simply start to tell something about your life and so on.
Animegirl : You are so funny ^^, dont worry if i dont want to answer your question, i gonna say it to you, its really hard to insult me just asking something :)
Master : Well... So, what do you prefer : ananas, strawberry, apple or peach ?
Animegirl : Wow :) Well, didnt expect this question, but it absolutely didnt insult me :) I prefer apple, why ?
Master : I was just thinking about which taste shoud condoms have when i gonna come to you
AniBot : Animegirl has left the "anime" channel
#859821 (-124)
<[Piratez]> www. g( . )( . )gle.com
<[Piratez]> now if google would celebrate the same holidays as I do
#859848 (3594)
<Myrf> I was giving some guy a job interview today, and it turned out he didn't know who the Beatles were.
<Myrf> So, of course, I had to turn him down :P
<bozz> wtf, a bunch of people don't know who the beatles are
<bozz> whyd you have to turn him down just because of that
<Myrf> Dude, I work at a RECORD STORE.
#860040 (8298)
<JoshtheRipper> Brad do you have any issues with " burn in " on your plasma?
<KnaveBrad> nope
<JoshtheRipper> kool
<JoshtheRipper> How well does it handle blacks
<KnaveBrad> I have it bolted to the wall, so they can't really take it without some serious work
#860816 (2405)
<amz> I thought that you had been an atheist since forever
<Batou> My Dad is massively religious.
<TheShadowZero> your mother is massively multiplayer, though
#861237 (825)
<Quag7> Is there a way of enforcing a specific permissions octal on any new files created in a directory, irrespective of a user's umask?
<raf> I don't discuss philosophy on IRC
#861294 (832)
<nero> HTML without CSS is like a gun without ammunition
<nero> you can beat people to death with the butt of a gun, but bullets are so much more efficient
#862002 (1196)
JBdarnet: I've been told I'm not a bad looking guy here, which is a red-light to hear from someone else in the Navy.