#826487 (60)
[Gnimish is working out how to go home to usa from austria for christmas]
* Gnimsh is frustrated by airlines
<PeterPowell> lol
<PeterPowell> dont fly?
<Gnimsh> should I swim back?
<Gnimsh> take a train?
<Gnimsh> DRIVE?!
<sari> boat?
<Gnimsh> wrong season
<Gnimsh> I looked on 3 different sites.
<PeterPowell> why not stay where you are..?:p
<Gnimsh> visa's up on the 25th of july
<Gnimsh> if they deport me for free, sure
#827006 (5233)
ElGarlic: Spending your life waiting for the messiah to come save the world is like waiting around for the straight piece to come in Tetris.
ElGarlic: Even if it comes, by that time you've accumulated a mountain of shit so high that you're fucked no matter what you do.
#827480 (1869)
<anon> Right now i'm watching this porno
<anon> Asian dude gets on bus full of white highschool girls and gets raped
<anon> I've been on a school bus before and this didn't happen. I'm beginning to think that porn isn't based on true stories.
#827518 (3412)
<kinzey> i want to go out with a girl
<kinzey> and lay in the field
<kinzey> real romatic like
<kinzey> and just stare at the full moon
<kinzey> and she'll say something along the lines of "the moon's so beautiful tonight"
<kinzey> and i'll just be like
<kinzey> "that's no moon... THAT'S A BATTLESTATION!!!"
<kinzey> and then run to the car and leave her ass there
<Chris> wow
#827929 (1783)
Seppukakke: You know, in the Old Testament, God was full of Wroth and Vengeance. You did bad stuff, he rained brimstone down on your ungrateful ass or harrassed your people with 7 plagues.
Seppukakke: In the New Testament, its like he has turned over a new leaf, you don't hear some much of the nasty things he did to his people (because if you believe in it, everyone on earth is his creation)
Seppukakke: You know what happened around the time between the New Testament and the Old Testament?
Seppukakke: He got laid.
#828460 (2202)
<+DethFromAbove> rmuser she is not ugly
<+DethFromAbove> she is fat yeah
<+DethFromAbove> but I saw past that
<+DethFromAbove> I don't know what to call that
<+DethFromAbove> I'm not sure if it's love or what
<@rmuser> gravitational lensing
#828823 (-99)
<Aenima> if i close my thighs forever......... will it all the remain the same??????????
<Alerik> nope..someone will use a pry bar when you hit the morgue
#829034 (2049)
CaptainMoonpie2: Working on a report
CaptainMoonpie2: Tell me why welfare is bad
CaptainMoonpie2: But in a really, really long explanation that is easy to copy and paste
IMADV82: Because people like me end up paying for people like your mom to raise people like you.
#829281 (7283)
ruide: hey chris, stop fuckin cybering and let me show you something
cyph33r: what
cyph33r: i dont cyber cockbite, i have a gf
ruide: haha
cyph33r: what did you want to show me
ruide: i made an account on that scrabble website you go to
ruide: bubblegal_14
cyph33r: wtf
cyph33r: omg fuck you you fucking prick
ruide: chrisharker: i slide two fingers into your tight asshole
cyph33r: YOU ARE A FUCKING FAGGOT YOU KNOW THAT
cyph33r: I FUCKING HATE YOU
ruide: chrisharker: i've never done this before, am i doing it right?
cyph33r: FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE
#829456 (3480)
<TB>  I was depressed last night so I called the Suicide Life Line.
<TB>  I reached a call center in Pakistan.
<TB>  I told them I was suicidal.
<TB>  They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck
#830555 (4034)
<Avery> I called AOL tech support once
<Avery> I was hungover
<Avery> and couldn't find my pants
<Avery> so I called them
<Avery> the lady told me to look under the kitchen table
<Avery> andthere they were
<Avery> how she knew that is beyond me
#830566 (-22)
<dubkat> i just ran a traceroute from me, to my my box at my sisters house. it travels the frackin east cost before arriving.
<dubkat> rediculous. (she only lives up the street)
<hohum> dubkat: I'd like to see a traceroute like that
<hohum> I want to be fondly reminded of my days of using NTT/Verio as a transit provider
<hohum> them cats were like an ISP chop shop
<hohum> they steal your ISP, chop it up and bolt it on to some shitty souped up japanese hosting company
#830741 (479)
<Geekzilla> "Ah. I see here you were a Geek Squad Special Agent"
<Geekzilla> "Yes, sir. Three years in the field. I was quite good at my job"
<Geekzilla> "I see. Well, thanks for coming in to interview, unfortunately we have no need for your services"
<Geekzilla> "But... but I thought you said you needed an experienced, talented IT tech?!"
<Geekzilla> "Exactly.  Good luck in your job search"
#830747 (10285)
<Montana> yeh but chinese for dinner.. Peking Dick FTW
<Dauntless> ... LOL
<Montana> omg here we go
<Dauntless> Can you say bash.org?
<Montana> why? so it can join the other 1 million quotes of random people saying 'i love wang.. oops typo, i meant computers.
<Montana> Screw this
<Montana> If i'm getting quoted I'm getting my moneys worth:
<Montana> MONTY PRESENTS THE ULTIMATE QUOTE
<Montana> OMFG my naked sister just ran into my room and before I could sex her she set fire/other means of destruction to my room but because Im a total geek it doesnt occur to me to get of irc and fix it.
<Montana> I instead enter a conversation on computers: OMG MY COMPUTER HAS GOT A VIRUS! OH WAIT NO, ITS WINDOWS/LINUX/MAC/NORTON/AOL. Now for the obligatory Windows ME insult where the name of the product is mistaken for a pronoun for myself:
<Montana> ME SO GAY! WHOOPS IT LOOKS LIKE THE INTENDED PURPOSE OF THAT STATEMENT WAS TO HIGHLIGHT MY OWN HOMOSEXUALITY WHEREAS I MEANT IT TO BE THE HOMOSEXUALITY OF THE OPERATING SYSTEM! HOW EMBARASSING!
<Montana> Now for the topic of sex:
<Montana> I HAVE A GF.. AND BY GF I OF COURSE MEAN A GFORCE 20MB 3.45 SYSTEM RETRO POWER MAX SUPERMAN RAPING COMPUTER STICK!
<Montana> Furthermore, I make a comment as to the worth of sex but comment of my lack of sexual activity.
<Montana> Hmm
<Montana> I'm forgetting the most impostant part! The lack of social interaction!
<Montana> OMG I just opened my blinds and the sunlight burnt and I saw this guy with a swollen chest and I was like WTF and my dad says 'thats called a girl' im like WTF IS A GIRL then i went and downloaded 50GB of porn.
<Montana> </end rant>
<Montana> Anyways, as I said before.. dinner.. brb
<Dauntless> o_o
#830989 (1021)
babygrl168572: oh so ur kalling me ignent i see
MeatCutterDrummer: I don't think I need to after that statement
#831058 (2847)
<Greg> Statistically speaking, there are two popes per square kilometer in Vatican City...
#831193 (-364)
<Corrupte> My friend's a fag he tried this dating servivce
<Corrupte> and found a girl that was like 20 years old, blonde, mature and had big tits
<Corrupte> Foolishly he went out wit a girl with no picture
<Corrupte> But she was actually 20 and had was blodne and shit
<jason> why is he fag then
<Corrupte> She was born on a leap year
#831195 (3651)
(@Dreki) I just realized something.
(@Dreki) A is the 1st letter of the alphabet and H is the 8th letter, right?
(@Dreki) 9/11=0.8181818181=HAHAHAHA.
#831285 (1378)
<komputes> I'm on a unix based operating system which means i get laid as many times as I have to restart my computer
<marky-b> same, but i run windows
#831311 (890)
<Ace073> wtf
<Ace073> i was just watching australia idol and they called it 'straya nidol'
<Ace073> wtf!!
<Ace073> why perpetuate the idea that we're hillbillies?
<Ace073> freakin south africa doesnt come on tv and say 'BLACK PEEPLE GTFO'
<Montana> Dude, thats so gay.
<Ace073> i know.. why dont we just rename the stupid continent Straya >_<
<Montana> No
<Montana> I mean
<Montana> You watch Australia Idol
#831403 (1405)
* Woussie is now known as You
* You have been disconnected from the server. Please reconnect.
* [Roy] has quit IRC (Read error: EOF from client)
* Blue_Dark has quit IRC (Read error: EOF from client)
* Blue_Dark has joined #RSR
<You> xD
* [Roy]|f2p_again has joined #RSR
#831458 (1486)
evilada: damn girls are too confusing about what they want from guys
lantern: Well they certainly know what they dont want
lantern: see now i'm tall, but not athletic, i don't have a full head of hair
lantern: so bam three strikes
evilada: girls dont work like baseball
evilada: if they did, everyone would cheer if you stole second base when no one was looking
evilada: and thats the complete opposite of what happens, trust me
#831674 (3298)
<JayQue> britneys sister is pregnant
<madbox> orly?
<Quazgaa> vaginally, would be my guess
#831678 (1082)
<xsphere> dude, josh was struck by a genius yesterday
<xsphere> it's fo funny you wouldn't believe man
<xsphere> so we're walking down the street right
<xsphere> and out of nowhere comes this black kid running
<xsphere> and one of those rent-a-coppers chasing him
<xsphere> as he's passing by josh sticks his foot up and trips him
<xsphere> turns over to me
<xsphere> and with an oscar deserving dead pan face says
<xsphere> "another one fucked by the NPCs"
<xsphere> hahaha
#832183 (582)
<Adolla> oh dear I ate too many broken gingerbread men
<Supel> not broken, alternatively configured, please
<Adolla> and the burned ones can't be given out they have to be eaten
<Supel> *alternatively carbonised
<Supel> *gingerbread people
<Supel> actually, ginger can be offensive
<Adolla> sorry, gingerbread people
<Supel> *funnyshapedrootspicepeople