<C0pp4F33l> michael flatly
<Protegemoi> ugh... Paris Hilton definitely
<Exostetic> Stephen Hawking.
<C0pp4F33l> michael flatly
<Protegemoi> ugh... Paris Hilton definitely
<Exostetic> Stephen Hawking.
<Lonesy> God's way of saying "I see what you did there"
<TraumaPony> Haha
<redwyre> and that you smell
<TraumaPony> Heh
<redwyre> and that you're gay
<TraumaPony> Lol
<redwyre> and that you like visual basic
<TraumaPony> THAT CUNT
<Coyote27> they be hatin'
<Coyote27> tryin' to catch me ridin' birdy
<b> yea.. without letters P and I
<Anonymous> Okay, heres the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little shits teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cunt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming SHIT! SHIT!. Now, my good friend, Tom well call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDNT GET IT! FUCK!. By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.
<Anonymous> Heres the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and Im Im FUCKING HIV POSITIVE.
<Anonymous> And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mom isnt defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cunt she is.
<Anonymous> I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.
<@Pugh> I shall call it........hammertime
Pete: flash is like if java, C# and visual basic had a threesome
Pete: and did not use protection
<Alex> Ohh the suspense
<Glen> it is like a thriller novel
<Alex> A race against time
<Glen> a twisted web of deceit
<Glen> a woman without a past, a detective without a future
<Glen> a file browsing application without proper thread isolation
<stratouk> They're huge, red and have bad drivers.
(JMulder) Help me out here.
(JMulder) I am on a quest to find that horribly traumatizing anthro style painting of the twins from The Matrix having sex with eachother.
(JMulder) It was horrible and I take no pleasure in trying to find it again, but it is of utmost importance.
<parucha> After I pour my cereal, I turn the lights back off and it's pitch black as I walk up the stairs to my bedroom.
<parucha> By the way, I'm only wearing a pair of silk shorts.
<parucha> So I'm trying to balance my bowl of cereal in the dark so I don't spill, thinking I'm doing okay. When I reach the top of the stairs, the bowl tips and I feel it spill all over my shorts.
<parucha> So I walk back downstairs to grab a rag and clean up. I find a roll of paper towels and I pick up all the cereal inside it and walk downstairs to throw it away and put my bowl in the sink.
Then I start to clean up the milk on the floor and on my shorts.
<parucha> Well this is near my parents' bedroom, and as I'm cleaning, I hear them having sex. Being male, I start to get an erection at the sounds of sex, despite the fact that I know it's my parents having the sex.
<parucha> So I try to tune it out and hurry up with the spilt milk. In the midst of all this, I start to have a coughing fit. A result of being a smoker.
<parucha> A minute later, my mom opens her bedroom door - wrapped in a blanket - and sees me standing there with an erection bulging through my shorts, which are still wet with a seeping liquid, and a paper towel in my hand dripping white stuff, all outside her bedroom door where she and my dad were just having sex.
<parucha> I've never thought seriously about running away from home until that night.
<Firas> ...
<Firas> g[b]: before that punchline we need the setup, e.g. "what do you call a cow with an oedipus complex", etc.
[Kradical] an organization of ISPs and NSPs (ISPs of ISPs) that is highly influential on how the internet operates
[Kara] :o
[Kara] I thought the internet ran on 4chan and porn.
Rude: (and this guy's a fucking dick, I hate him just from hearing him talk to the kids working)
Rude: so he orders his meal, and when they put it all on the tray, he puts the back of his hand right into the fries and practically explodes.. "THESE FRIES ARE COLD, THEYRE ALWAYS FUCKING COLD WHEN YOU SERVE THEM, I WANT FRESH ONES"
Rude: so they apologize, take the fries away and after a few minutes I see them put some more fries on his tray...dumbass puts his hand right into it again, but these fries were RIGHT out of the frier, and the stupid fuck completely burns the back of his hand and shrieks like a fucking girl
Rude: I laughed so fucking hard at him, and he turns to me cradling his raw hand and yells WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LAUGHING AT KID
Rude: at this point i'm laughing so hard i can only point at his hand and keep laughing
Rude: dipshit storms out and the kids working even gave me his fucking food
honestly x okay: I have no clue
honestly x okay: I can't follow all his names
Ademska: first he was Sean "Puffy" Combs, then Puff Daddy, then P Diddy, now Diddy
Ademska: next he is just going to be a syllable
Ademska: "Duh"
schala: Let me explain
schala: they make you lay on a cold hospital bed with your legs like whee and then they shove a whoops in your wahoo and make it go zweep and then it goes weeeeeem and then they poke your weebleweebles and then you're done
danni: -Blinks.-
danni: Explain that in ENGLISH?!
schala: I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A METAL CHIP CLIP
<TRG> so she put it in mine
<TRG> now, the last thing I watched on windows media player was hardcore lesbian porn
<TRG> that got into the action right away
<TRG> so my mom puts in the cd into my computer
<TRG> opens up windows media players
<TRG> and the porn starts playing
<TRG> and when I realized what was happening I was like "oh fuck"
<TRG> but then...
<TRG> she goes berserk
<TRG> she was screaming "THIS CD HAS BEEN POSSESSED BY THE DEVIL!!"
<TRG> and she took out a HAMMER
<TRG> and smashed the fucking CD
<TRG> it was the best thing ever
<TRG> not only was I completely off the hook
<TRG> you have to love the awesome displays of religious apeshit
<TRG> I think if god existed, he put people like my mom on this earth to entertain us
<jwb> you make all the content. they keep all the revenue.
<falafel> well atleast the right wing
<falafel> i still have the top to defend and get some cover over the left flank
<falafel> and i have to do it quickly before the mentos monsters complete the building of their military base
Violets are blue,
Make me a sandwich,
Or your eye will be too.
<jimnathan> newsflash!! theyre not funny
<jimnathan> the only way it could possibly get worse is if someone made a poem like that completely in 1337
<Fraeon> R0535 4R3 R3D, V10l375 4R3 BLU3, 1337 P037RY 5UCK5, BU7 50 D0 Y0U?
<DusK> you write pseudocode, and you indent it correctly :)