#775321 (3943)
atlasthealmighty: Did I tell you my idea of injecting heroin into your balls, so when you ejaculate, it's heroin... And then the chick will think you just gave her the most amazing orgasm in the world, and she'd become addicted to sex with you
nullphi: i would like to subscribe to your newsletter
#775570 (893)
< tmbg_> anyone given thought to using accelerometers from laptops as entropy inputs?
< tkoskine> "Generating a new encryption key, please shake your computer" ? :)
#775579 (168)
Sunspot: They don't make 'em like they used to. That's all I have to say.
Bobby: Nope, they sure don't.
***Sunspot jumps in his Time Machine (don't forget the flux capacitor) and goes back to watch some cartoons.
Sunspot: Seriously. I want to get a Delorean and ducttape a blender on top.
Sunspot: Sad thing is, very few people would get the joke.
Sunspot: And even sadder, I'm saddled with a Delorean with a blender duct-taped to the top.
#775587 (72)
Foxpaws Zupe: Me and my BF talked about children today
Foxpaws Zupe: I think we're going to have to rock paper scissors
Foxpaws Zupe: to see if our child will be cut or uncut
#775634 (376)
<uberclops> they brought new printers to our work
<uberclops> it's awesome because they're not the size of the titanic and don't require a degree in mechanical engineering to change the toner
#775635 (1768)
<fenriz> my mother found some of my porn the other day
<fenriz> I'm not sure which folder she found, but I can safely assume she only scratched the surface
<fenriz> because she complimented me on my taste
#775699 (258)
<Mac> Hi I'm a mac
<PC> And I'm a PC
<Mac> So what you doing PC?
<PC> Upgrading my Graphics card, RAM and Processor.
<Mac> Oh.... Ummmm
<PC> Don't you just love a good upgrade!
<Mac> Well actually, I can't. If you want to upgrade you'll have to buy a new system.......
#775778 (1767)
cromar: If there is a God, why does he/she allow disasters like earthquakes and Microsoft?
dvice_null: Are you comparing a disaster that causes billions of dollars financial losses and thousands of people to lose their home every year, to a natural movement of tectonic plates? That's low.
#775791 (744)
<GfK> these dumbass church people on tv
<GfK> they just said god made the internet
<NoelCower> Bet they're internet creationists and reject ARPANET
#775793 (400)
<Ravsieg> My firewall just blocked itself from accessing the network.
<Ravsieg> I wonder if this is a good or a bad sign.
#775834 (60)
<[Chris]> oh yeah baby, concatenate those strings... do it just like that
<neura> I'd think you'd want to insert, not concatenate...
<[Chris]> now you're just being nasty
<neura> no, nasty is noting that you'd wanna be real careful with chop and split :x
<[Chris]> as long as we aren't getting into a strlen fight
#775869 (4566)
<@HEMI> I got in a car accident on the way home from work.
<@HEMI> I rear-ended someone.
<@HEMI> Guy gets out of his car; I get out of mine. He's a dwarf.
<@HEMI> We're sitting there waiting for the police to arrive and he goes, "I'm not happy."
<@HEMI> I said, "so which one are you?"
#775900 (364)
<JTP> You know you've been playing too much Need for Speed when your first instinct when you see a cop driving down the street is to hit the NOS and ram him.
#775926 (1101)
CeePlusPlusKid: so I saw the most AMAZING thing today
CeePlusPlusKid: I was stopped at a stoplight, and heard hardcore gangster rap blasting next to me.
CeePlusPlusKid: I turned to look expecting it to be some teenagers, or maybe an older black guy.
CeePlusPlusKid: It was two 70 year old white guys bobbin their heads in a buick.
#776098 (1188)
<Creeper> when they neuter a dog do they actually like remove the balls or do they just cut a wire somewhere
<~Vash> NO NOT THE BLUE WIRE!!!!! *dog explodes*
#776099 (369)
<Valaris> Q: How do I get child pornography?
<Valaris> A: Start a free image hosting site.
#776360 (1255)
--> hindenburg (~ash@cloaked.rr.com) has joined #overclockers
<a474645> hindenburg like the german zeppelin disaster?
<hindenburg> what can i say
<hindenburg> blimpin aint easy
#776421 (131)
<Chris> If I were a Greek god, my name would be Testicles
#776488 (615)
<Meltro> the song you are referring to is 'Dueling Banjos', as made famous in some hickish movie I don't remember
<Meltro> Requiem for a full set of teeth or something
#776534 (1493)
<Dionysus> Intelligence is alcohol soluble.
#776606 (867)
<Sword_Saint> God, I hate conspiracy theorists
<Sword_Saint> I almost wish they were right
<Sword_Saint> so the government would abduct and kill them
<Sword_Saint> and shut them the fuck up
#776609 (892)
Jentsu13: i just had an idea for a cool picture
Jentsu13: that would be highly offensive and inappropriate
Jentsu13: twincest jesuses
Jentsu13: titled
Jentsu13: jesus fucking christ
Jentsu13: yeah i'm going to hell for that one
#777054 (2598)
<Mike> Kentucky Freud Chicken
<Mike> It's Mother-fuckin' good.
#777172 (438)
<Adun|Oblivion> "The ejaculation of a dolphin carries so much force with it, that it could decapitate you."
<ChaosSmurf> You know
<ChaosSmurf> This is why Dolphins are ALWAYS happy
<ChaosSmurf> They're just sitting there going "Yeah, bitches, I can decapitate you with my sperm"
#777224 (261)
<mikesch> aliens need to lay off the acid on crop circle nights.