#773234 (383)
<MadClown> i have your soul
<fall0ut> no, some pine tree had my soul one night
<fall0ut> when I was drunk
<fall0ut> I chopped it down and dragged it through a field for 2 hours
<fall0ut> and got my soul back
<fall0ut> kthnx
<fall0ut> ^-- true story
<MadClown> for some strange reason, i beleive you
<eclypse> yea.. i can honestly say i dont doubt this
<fall0ut> nothing like an axe in one hand
<fall0ut> a beer in another
<fall0ut> screaming at the tree
<fall0ut> "FUCK YOU TREE, I'M GONNA GET M YSOUL BACK"
<fall0ut> then tying a logging chain to it and dragging it around a field
<fall0ut> ....
<fall0ut> yea.....
#773253 (341)
<Sea_Bass> Hahaha, by the way, guys, how awesome is this:
<Sea_Bass> I went to the snackbar with a couple of mates today
<Sea_Bass> and while sitting there, this truck drove by
<Sea_Bass> And I was like "Wow, that's a loooong truck"
<Sea_Bass> so it had passed, and I looked over my shoulder, and in doing so, I caught the license plate
<Thomp> was it long cat being moved?
<Sea_Bass> which was 90-TL-DR
#773258 (97)
theDELIv3ranc3: omg
theDELIv3ranc3: this schematic said astable multivibrator
theDELIv3ranc3: and all I see is "ass vibrator"
theDELIv3ranc3: oh god
Vad3rZ: LMAO
theDELIv3ranc3: I hate bash
#773519 (911)
<Manson> and I think I had a virus
<Manson> something about jewish dating
<GrEmLiN> you got the jew virus?
<Manson> I think so...
<Kirby> lemme guess, it took all your cache?
#773594 (323)
<danien> Here, Palden-, have this sample dildo I found in my mailbox.
<Palden-> is it used?
<danien> No, it's still vacuum-sealed.
<Palden-> pfft, then i don't want it
#773608 (224)
<Haddock> there are easy marks on CPT5
<Haddock> it gives you some html
<Haddock> and you have to draw what the page would look like
<Haddock> you have to be careful not to confuse <br> and <p> and shit like that
<Haddock> but they're worth like 5-7 marks
<Numi> lol
<Numi> i'd laugh if they gave you wankers of questions like
<Numi> "draw this page, which features browser-specific bugs, as it would render in IE6"
<Haddock> lol
<Haddock> i'd just draw a bsod
<Numi> HAHA
#773804 (285)
<Asuna|Sola_and_Sleep> Heh, I just plugged in a printer for the first time in a year
<Asuna|Sola_and_Sleep> and a homework assignment that I needed 3 months ago immediately printed out
<me[dot]> hahaha
<Asuna|Sola_and_Sleep> Yeah
<Asuna|Sola_and_Sleep> Isn't that great?
<me[dot]> Modern technology, always expediting our needs
#773844 (-124)
<Elan> There once was a man from nantucket.
<Elan> with a dick so long he could suck it
<Elan> and he said with a grin as he wiped off his chin
<Elan> if my ear was a cunt I would fuck it
#773924 (1235)
<IMlifelike> I flushed a bag of skittles down the toilet yesterday and watched a NASCAR race in 8 seconds flat.
#773975 (295)
<Paranoua> Okay, this is the *only* right answer to the question "Do You Think I'm Fat?":
<Paranoua> "No, because if you were fat I'd leave you."
#773988 (778)
sup lyndz: "That's what you tell your parents if they catch you masturbating. I WASN'T MASTURBATING. I WAS CLEANING IT AND IT WENT OFF."
#774024 (335)
[vvandering_nomad] I took some of that fake blood one night, and made it look like my eye was gushing blood. I walked up to the front office of the complex where this poor cute little asian gal was working.
[vvandering_nomad] I walked up to her and said "Is Student Health Services open?"
[Lehsa] ROFL
[vvandering_nomad] I scored some free wet-naps!
[Ku'vah] LOL
[Lehsa] you are so mean Nomie
[Ku'vah] I need to get some fake blood
[vvandering_nomad] She almost called an ambulance, until I convinced her that I was "getting some pills for it." and that it "Happens every winter."
[Lehsa] LOL
[Lehsa] rofl
[Ku'vah] LOL
[lvlarein] Haha
#774029 (119)
<THC|Rawk> Okay, so here's the plan...
<THC|Rawk> At the premiere of the next Harry Potter movie, me wearing a black cloak and a Darth Vader helmet
<THC|Rawk> Walking up to some fucktard dressed up as Harry Potter himself, going "Dumbledore lied, Harry. I am your father!"
<THC|Rawk> Then ditch the helmet, pull up the hood on the cloak, and try and pass myself of as a dementor.
<THC|Rawk> Some fucker is gonna be sooooo confused for the rest of the evening!
#774114 (701)
<echin> regexman, regexman, matches text when no one can
<mguzman> parses text, any size
<echin> captures strings, on the first try
<echin> look out, here comes the regexman
<tooth> You're all a bunch of fucking nerds
<yangman> so awesome
#774347 (538)
<TxT> hahahhahahahahaha i read that bash quote where the guy renamed mirc.exe the .doc he needed to turn in
<TxT> so i did it with my paper, i get an email today from my teacher "Sorry, I opened your document and it seemed corrupted. Do you know what happened? If not, just resubmit your essay."
<TxT> and i sent him my now finished essay this morning and got a reply just now, "Thank you. This version seems to be working just fine."
<TxT> ty bash!
<+hydeph> hmm didnt you say a while ago that your teacher reads bash?
<TxT> ...
<TxT> dude thats not fucking cool
<+hydeph> its ok, tyler norris.
<TxT> ...
<TxT> shit.
#774476 (954)
<AesteroidBlues> what is it about every ninja gaiden game that makes it so it has to be IM-FUCING-POSSIBLE
<Ph33rESP> because ninjas gots to do intense fucking difficult shit
<Ph33rESP> thats why they're ninja
<Ph33rESP> if everything was easy then it would be called business major gaiden
#774491 (1137)
<orlando> There's no such thing as reverse racism; racism doesn't have a direction.
<justin> So it's a scalar.
#774539 (181)
<TehGherkin> I punched the shit out of like several lampposts and some shrubbery.
<Yoshiboy> ouch
<Smoson> XD
<TehGherkin> The shrubbery accosted me as I walked there and I'm pretty sure one of the lamp posts cast a dispersion on my mother.
#774552 (107)
<Leeloo> Mutiny on the high IRC
#774608 (274)
<DevilsArms> I hate the saying "Their are plenty more fish in the sea".
<DevilsArms> As soon as you get your tackle out in public you get arrested.
#774626 (989)
<Aelfinn> I'm psychic
<Aelfinn> I can predict what will happen in the future
<Gundulf> Yeah, then what am I going to say next?
<Aelfinn> Wrong
<Gundulf> ...touche
#774628 (349)
<R_M> being drunk is kinda like having a really low framerate
#774765 (705)
Prizes_for_contests: Hey, how much would it cost To get someone To find me a cost-free downloadable Hentai date sim for my mac?
bommer: what?? lol
Ich: think you're asking in the wrong place
Prizes_for_contests: where do i go then?
Eiljwa: there is no right place to ask something like that
#774876 (944)
<Sp3cial> STEP 1: Spout retarded crap about beardy guys and overlords.
<Sp3cial> STEP 2: Live in a time when people are retarded.
<Sp3cial> STEP 3: ?????
<Sp3cial> STEP 4: PROPHET!
#775171 (20)
<Woosta> Isn't America at war against the Middle Endians?