<TwoPairSux> You have "69" at the end of your name and you're talking to me about maturity?
<Greek69> Do you even know what 69 means you fag?
<TwoPairSux> You have "Greek" in your name and you're calling me a fag?
<TwoPairSux> You have "69" at the end of your name and you're talking to me about maturity?
<Greek69> Do you even know what 69 means you fag?
<TwoPairSux> You have "Greek" in your name and you're calling me a fag?
<coquelicot> i've come to the conclusion that she's into me
<theworstisover> a blind/deaf/retarded person could have told you that
<coquelicot> well they should, because i think that would be very comical to hear and watch
<COMRED> Hahah. You get it? It's a homonymn.
<COMRED> fuck you all.
<d-snp> Maple tells me the same thing all the girls do :(
<Black_Dog> Gotta love regexps
<Bl1tz|work> it looks like some elaborate Japanese smiley
<Bl1tz|work> like "your parents just found out you've been slacking in class and you also have the flu"
Yakuza: So one night me and my friends got together and waited for one to call
Yakuza: When one did, I picked it up and was like talking to the guy, giving him that false hope
Yakuza: Then I had my friends ring the doorbell, and I was like oh hold on
Yakuza: I went to the door and had my friends like shout shit like "There he is! Get him!"
Yakuza: And we started popping balloons and had a movie on full blast in the background
Yakuza: And then I let out this gut wrenching scream
Yakuza: I let the line go silent, and the guy on the other end was like "uhh... sir?"
Yakuza: Then my friend ran over and picked up the phone and was like "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS!?"
Yakuza: I guess he hung up like instantly :D
<Spast> I'm going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<AssA> good, i hate clowns.
<Spast> ...
<Spast> goddamnit
< eml> Jealousy?
< astronouth7303> eml++
< jsoftw> then theres the perl programmers who dont even feel
<InsaneJuggalo> theres only like.... 3?
<|if3|355> by partition magic 8; and a perfectly timed power surge.
Bilbo22: What's up?
GuyGuy: Ok, this is gonna take some explanation.
Bilbo22: Go for it.
GuyGuy: Alright. My wife goes crazy when I cum in her. She really likes the feeling of liquid shooting into her or something, cause she's absolutely nuts about it. It's like a fucking fetish.
GuyGuy: Anyway, Last week she went totally overboard with this. We were having sex, and everything was going great, but when I said I was about to cum she grabbed me by the shaft, forcefully yanked me out of her, got this fucking jar from the drawer in the nightstand, and collected my fucking semen in it.
Bilbo22: What the fuck?
GuyGuy: Yeah. Weird ass shit.
Bilbo22: No, I mean the fact you're telling me this shit. I don't want to hear this.
GuyGuy: It's important dude, hear me out.
Bilbo22: Fine, Fine.
GuyGuy: Anyway, I was asking what the fuck she was up to and she tells me she wants to save up my jism so she can take it all at once. So she sticks the jar in the fridge and tells me we can't have any more sex until I fill the thing entirely.
GuyGuy: And long story short, I just don't got that much juice in me, so after a week of trying to jack it until I could fill it, my penis felt like it was gonna burst. So I decided to cheat, and topped it off with some of this dove soap she has, cause it looks a lot like semen.
Bilbo22: Oh dear god, I know where this is going.
GuyGuy: So I give her the filled jar all indignant like cause she made me do this, and she promised me lots of kinky sex for it.
GuyGuy: Then she pulls a fucking turkey baster out of her dresser, sucks up the contents of the jar, sticks the baster in her pussy, and lets it rip.
GuyGuy: As it turns out, Soap apparently burns like a motherfucker when you put it in a woman's pussy.
Bilbo22: Oh shit man. When the fuck was this?
GuyGuy: Like, ten minutes ago.
Bilbo22: Then what the fuck are you doing on AIM!?
GuyGuy: Are you kidding? She's been in the bathroom for the past ten minutes screaming like a fucking banshee.
GuyGuy: I needed leverage. If she murders me now, I've got a witness who can testify against her.
GuyGuy: Oh shit, she's coming out now. If you don't hear from me in a few days, call the cops!
Bilbo22: I'll be sure to check under the porch for your body.
<heffalump75> and for some reason they asked me to explain three different methods of cooking potatoes.
<heffalump75> I'd just recently watched LOTR as well.
<mmmBoris> Uh oh i can see where this is going
<heffalump75> In the first box i put "boil em," the second i put "mash em" and the third i put "stick em in a stew."
<heffalump75> And then on the side I drew a picture of Samwise Gamgee as best i could.
<heffalump75> I got a massive tick and full marks for that question.
<chad> again, I know you are trying to be politically correct, but just call them hookers
<philcostin> *tools
<philcostin> damn keyboard
<Sollen> and I actually realize I'm starting to fall, and I could of tried to stumble and keep walking; except I have my laptop in my bookbag and after the trouble I had I'm not about to risk banging it around. So my geek impulses say "save the computer; sacrifice your body"
<Sollen> I guess all the martial arts helps because I managed to do this nice slow controlled fall to the ground, at the last minute I let go of my soda to throw my hand to the ground and somehow the soda manages to fall so it's standing face up without spilling a drop.
<Sollen> so there I am lying in the middle of this road in center of campus with everyone staring at me after I just did this perfect drop from standing position to lying position completely uninjured without spilling a drop
<Sollen> so I decide to play it cool, I just lie there like "yeah I meant to do that, I was just getting tired so I thought I would take a nap right here"
<Nautilus> 11:59 P.M. on april fools, he sets off a bash script that logs into my company's server, uses ipfw to block out _all_ ssh connections, and changes the site to display goatse.
<OneMan> haha that's a good get-back
<OneMan> did you change it back?
<Nautilus> <Nautilus> uses ipfw to block out _all_ ssh connections
<OneMan> 1 Dr. Jack Kevorkian cure-all, comin' right up!
<osaka> I don't get why so many vegans have some kind of a beef with me.
<osaka> Just because I bring home the bacon, doesn't mean I'm egging them on.
<osaka> It's so cheesy for them to milk political correctness.
<osaka> The stakes are high on this one, but they're too chicken to meet any resistance.
<RunningRed> Sort of a 3-D version
<MoNKeYSpanKeR> every night before i go to bed i am going to put 30 rakes on the floor
<MorningStar> okay, seriously
<MorningStar> what time is it where you are ez?
<Ezandora> er, 5:44, why?
<MorningStar> am?
<Ezandora> ya
<MorningStar> I have decided that you are not allowed to use words with more than two syllables between the hours of 3 and 8 am