#762169
(1632)SynAdam: whats harder than nailing a baby to a wall? Kato: ...what? SynAdam: my dick while im doing it Kato: .... SynAdam: get it? Kato: what in the FUCK is wrong with you?! #762328
(1150)<thou> yeah he isn't really that hrd.. <thou> *hard <arak0n> lern sum grammer u fuckin noob <thou> damn if I were you, I wouldn't be worrying about other people's grammar. <arak0n> it jus annois me when all them fukin noobs cum in here, an u cant unerstand anytin they r sayin. it make me wana just leve the channel * thou has left #wii (me too man. me too.) #762388
(1840)<Chrysalid^Revenge> I had something like that happen to me once. <Chrysalid^Revenge> And vengeance is a plate best served cold. * Sectoid^Authopsy sits down for storytime <Chrysalid^Revenge> I saw some asshole stealing my pack of cigarettes from my table while I was getting another beer. <Chrysalid^Revenge> But of course, as I confronted him, he denied it flatly, and all the sudden four of his mates were getting ready for a fight and shit. <Chrysalid^Revenge> So I decided to back down, and rather get one over him later. <Chrysalid^Revenge> Of course, living in an army camp has it's advantages, such as easy access to ammo. <Sectoid^Authopsy> o_0 <Chrysalid^Revenge> So I took two Winner Tip cartridges, a little bit of tobacco, and quite a generous amount of gunpowder from a blank I 'obtained', topping it off with tobacco to get a proper look. <Chrysalid^Revenge> Next weekend, I leave my pack containing two cigs rather indiscreetly at my table when I see this assholes is at the pub, and go to pick up another beer. <Chrysalid^Revenge> When I come back, the pack has vanished. So I get hold of one of the bouncers, telling him that I saw someone carrying "what looked like fireworks around". <Chrysalid^Revenge> Ten seconds later, there's some nasty fizzing, a lot of smoke and a huge fucking flame coming from one of the corner tables, and seconds later, the same thing happens in the hand of one of the guys sitting there. <Chrysalid^Revenge> And at this point, it has to be mentioned that watching two bouncers pull a screaming guy with no eyebrows left, and a nasty burn up half his face out of a pub, 'accidentally' drop him down the stairs, and finally call the cops on him, does lead to a certain smugness. <Chrysalid^Revenge> The morale is, don't you ever fucking touch my cigarettes. I can probably spare you one if you ask, but fucking ask first, okay?! #762565
(-574)Erik: when did anakin skywalker become evil? Melissa: when?! Erik: in the sith grade! #762628
(684)<kow|wk> so <kow|wk> worth noting <kow|wk> running "reboot -h" does NOT produce a helpful usage message #762681
(694)dmwit: You know, my first year at college they gave me a whistle. dmwit: They told me it was a rape whistle. dmwit: But no matter how hard I blew, I never got raped. =( #762742
(1089)<godlys0ldier> How can i know what a $rand number is gonna be <Spitfire3292> ...Thats gotta be the fuckin stupidest thing i've heard all day #762870
(629)<ZaXorZ> if you get glitter on you, be prepared to have it on you forever. <ZaXorZ> Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies #762890
(697)<Nangijala> activists in copenhagen have really figured it out this time <Carrots> whats going on now? <Nangijala> now instead of throwing rocks and rioting <Nangijala> they have climbed up in a tower <Nangijala> and will jump out if the politicians doesn't listen to them <Astral\afk> :D <Nangijala> now there's a problem that solves itself if i've ever seen one #762910
(739)<Dave> Question: Is it "right" to stop registered sex offenders from registering on social networking sites? <highvoltage> Dave: where do you register to become a sex offender? * Vhata falls off his chair laughing <Dave> highvoltage: at your local school... <MrKen> Dave: No, that's where they hold the auditions #762975
(555)<patchinko> jerry falwell's dead <darsu> a-who? <lynkali> :o <lynkali> really? <patchinko> he died like >3 hours ago <Cthulhu> umm, you misread that part jon <Cthulhu> "School official said Falwell was fine at breakfast" <Prakk> they ate his corpse? #763087
(511)<ganked> Did the doctor give you your test results? <ct> Yeah. Looks like all those years of phone sex caught up with me. <ct> I have hearing AIDS. #763160
(1622)<Will T. Rex> So, at the pub last saturday <Will T. Rex> Really bogan pub, with pool and AC/DC on the TV jukebox, at 3am in the morning... my nerdy friend says very loudly "NEED MOAR BEER!" <Will T. Rex> with emphasis on the 'moaaar', because we are nerds <Will T. Rex> ... and out of nowhere, some random dude screams "WE ARE ANNONYMOUS, WE ARE LEGION" <Will T. Rex> Fucking terrifying #763307
(839)<j0e> when i want to download music i look up what the band thinks about filesharing <j0e> if they're okay with it, i download the song <j0e> if they're against it, i download the song out of spite <UriGeller> what if they haven't said anything on filesharing <j0e> that's what i call a tacit endorsement #763355
(364)Torodung (31985): You can't write code or design software that will secure "stupid." [..] If those folks were using an abacus, they'd probably get their head stuck in it. #763637
(600)<Fraeon> I have found an awesome reason to become emo <Fraeon> You can celebrate all those days you weren't born instead of that one day you were #763669
(366)<c> I'm just not that creative at naming. I name my computers after dead guys who argued a lot. <DrAppleseed> Is your next one going to be named Falwell? <c> Somehow, I don't think it would get along with Turing. #763772
(355)<+AdamR> bahahahahahah just got a reply from zen about that gateway being named "gay-dsl1" <Er00`> Oh? <Pru> WEEEEEEEEEEEE <+AdamR> Hi Adam, All of our DSL gateways are named after renowned philosophers, in this case Gay is named for John Gay, see the below website for more information; http://www.philosophypages.com/dy/g.htm <TheDon> rofl <+AdamR> notice how there isnt a picture of him on that site <Er00`> Hehe <+AdamR> thats the best fucking techincal support response i've ever had #763869
(1774)<nOmAd93-8> oh, I've lost a ke.-button on m. ke.board... which is after "x" and before "z"!! <68-bbb> there aren't any keys between z and x, dumbass #763963
(3137)<ez76> a mac vs. pc commercial you'll never see: "Whatcha doin, PC?" "I'm playing this new game." "Oh really, which one?" "Any." "Oh." (silence) (fade) #764036
(544)< ameyer> citalim: you argue like O'Reilly <+citalim> i have a theory that bill o'reilly doesn't believe a word he says <+citalim> i think he's just trolling on a much larger scale <+citalim> i look up to him #764093
(370)<SketchCow> I've been asked to shut down 7 servers, all of them roughly 10 years old. <SketchCow> I've been making them play taps before turning off permanently. #764110
(353)Muri> "Does it count as crossplay if Im a man, cosplaying a man, who dresses as a woman?" Dephemait> no... but it's STILL gay #764140
(571)<Primo> If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing. #764292
(1399)Magna Carta: Being in Alexa's top 1000 says a lot for any site... Motley: Related: In walmart today, it was pretty packed Motley: and my nephew (11) is going to get some icees, he gets ready to turn left out of electronics Motley: and he goes 'dude, what flavor?' Motley: I shouted 'MOAR MUDKIPS' (aka blue) Motley: Then this is what I hear.. Motley: Far left: 'KILL IT WITH FIRE!' Motley: Far right: 'NO U' Motley: Behind: 'DO NOT WANT' Motley: and then god bless 'em, the guy standing *right* next to me goes 'shut the fuck up btards!" Magna Carta: ... Magna Carta: You live in EKY? Motley: ...yeah Magna Carta: OSHIT