#747191
(137)DeathDread26: Ever consider lifting a lawnmower up and using it like a weapon against a horde of people? NiNj4 4Ss4SsiN: no DeathDread26: oh DeathDread26: so... i am the only one? NiNj4 4Ss4SsiN: lol i guess DeathDread26: damn. know any good psychologists? #747233
(814)<D4> Want to hear my idea for a Star Wars porno? <Jolyon> Only if Han shoots first #747235
(2927)<mav> I've always wanted to change my legal name to ;DROP DATABASE; and see what kind of havoc ensues... #747246
(1640)<nyetwerk> why is it that they always make the stupidest person on a project team be the leader? <DocRadium> what are you in charge of now? #747447
(75)Archpo: Ok, Im stealing that. Drmn: haha *** Auto-response from Archpo: rm * /dev/bladder; cat /dev/fridge | grep food Drmn: trouble with that is remembering to treat /dev/fridge as a FIFO and not a block device Drmn: *contemplates 3 day old pizza vs. 2 day old indian food* #747531
(1862)<muse06> you ever think god gets stoned? <humphrey> have you ever seen a platypus? #747877
(741)Maybe_Factor: C++ doesn't have a compiler, it has a complainer. #748074
(2145)<Fuzion> research has shown that men are less likely to attempt suicide, but more likely to succeed. <Kadaj> it's because they tend to use guns, while women use things like sleeping pills. <Fuzion> that just pisses me off. <Fuzion> the last thing you are ever going to do... would it kill you to do it right?! <Fuzion> ... <Fuzion> wait #748176
(594)[%Nakedkira] HERE'S A REAL CATGIRL [%Nakedkira] :D)333-< (+DB) o.o (+Renoki) 3 sets... of boobs? [%Nakedkira] meow, bitch #748314
(449)<CimmAway> Spam subject of the day: "Proven Safe! Give Your Little Brother 3-Inches Longer With This High Demaning Herbal Pill tlet" <CimmAway> Something just sounds wrong there... <CimmAway> Giving 3 inches more to your brother... <Reddman> he's getting better at taking it #748763
(460)<BillyBob> napolean was 5 feet 7 <BillyBob> that i did not know <NobleArc> Napoleon <NobleArc> It's just francais. Spelling en francais isn't that hard. <BillyBob> good to know you can catch typos in multiple languages <BillyBob> almost as helpful as the microsoft office paperclip #748785
(792)<SyntaxError> So how do you guys think Bush is doing <Pacster> Don't get me started ... <Merrick178> I'm sick of people hating Bush <Pacster> Omg -.- <Merrick178> He's doing pretty good for a retarded person #749227
(1448)<denshuu> I just spent the better part of four fuck hours trying to get on IRC from campus <denshuu> just to talk to you artards <Desu|Away> rawsome <whereisJ> What would you do without us? <denshuu> graduate #749486
(743)<Biff> News of the World is reporting that Angelina Jolie is planning to adopt for the fourth time, just weeks after she adopted a 5-year old boy from Vietnam. She has also adopted Maddox from Cambodia and Zahara from Ethiopia and she of course has Shiloh, her natural daughter with her boyfriend Brad Pitt. Now Jolie wants to adopt a girl from Chad to "balance the family." <Biff> she's collecting kids from other countries as if they were pokemon #749697
(1697)<Suriko> I HAVE DONE IT <Suriko> I HAVE BEATEN THE CLAW MACHINE <Suriko> I HAVE BURNT ITS FIELDS, AND HEARD THE LAMENTATIONS OF ITS WOMEN <Suriko> I got a teddy bear and a Shrek donkey <3 #749816
(594)FeNdErBeNdEr04: how does one go about achieving a relationship with someone who thinks one is confused as m'kay about what one wants, but one knows she truly isn't confused, it's just that someone who's very confusing at times. SkaRules: i can see how one would find you confusing #749986
(4325)PwNzAgE33: ok so in assembly language we learned that processes in the cpu get set priority levelsPwNzAgE33: 0-7, 7 being the highest priority PwNzAgE33: this is the example the book gives PwNzAgE33: "For example, a computer's payroll program may run overnight, and at PL0. It has all night to finish - not terribly urgent. A program that corrects for a nuclear power plant current surge may run at PL6. We are perfectly happy to let the payroll wait while the nuclear power correction keeps us from being blown to bits." PwNzAgE33: this begs two questions PwNzAgE33: first PwNzAgE33: who in the hell is running payroll and a nuclear power surge correction on the same machine PwNzAgE33: and second, if nuclear power surge correction gets PL6, what on God's green earth gets a fucking PL7? #750058
(160)<Rjx> How to get laid? Uninstall Linux. <Rjx> case closed #750237
(866)<Hybridfusion> i found out last week that if you see a big black man who works for BFI (garbage truck / pickup company) <Hybridfusion> dont ask him if BFI stands for "big fucking idiot" <Volte> did he say "why as a matter of fact it does and id appreciate if you didnt call attention to it thanks" <Hybridfusion> he threw a metal pipe at me and i ran like a motherfucker #750332
(896)<Tinkymamma> I think the downfall of my popularity at school was when I humped my best friend to show some other kids how tigers mate. #750346
(936)<tastycake> anyone know of a voice changer program <denke> ya <denke> its called puberty #750735
(1129)<[Faer|eggs]> oh yeah, Easter <[Faer|eggs]> which means I will have baskets of chocolate to go with my bucket of candy and can of DIET soda <LoneSamurai> hahaha <Tremens> well <Tremens> you have to watch to make sure you dont get fat <Tremens> hence the diet soda <[Faer|eggs]> This reminds me of a related, true, and funny story <LoneSamurai> uh oh, everyone run, here comes a Faer story <Akuma> be less bitter lone <Akuma> faer stories are really good <LoneSamurai> hahaha <LoneSamurai> if your 13 <[Faer|eggs]> When I worked at BK there was this woman who would regularly come to my DRIVE-THRU window and order a Whopper, an Angus Steak Burger, Double Bacon Cheeseburger value meal, large Chocolate shake, large onion rings, lots of sauce, and a DIET coke <[Faer|eggs]> Each and every time, when I would hand her the order, she'd make a fuss "Are you sure this is DIET?" <[Faer|eggs]> So after about a month of this I finally got fed up with the whole thing <[Faer|eggs]> And when she came for her daily visit, and threw the daily fuss, I said: <Tremens> (this is where faer gers fired) <[Faer|eggs]> "No ma'am, I'm terribly sorry, we're out of DIET coke today. Instead I filled your cup with water, some bacon grease, and a bit of leftover breakfast gunk from the cinnamon rolls. I know it sounds strange now, but trust me, when you drink it, it'll taste just the same as the DIET coke does after you inhale all that fat and grease you order from me every day." <[Faer|eggs]> So she asked if she could see my manager <Akuma> ROFL <[Faer|eggs]> Of course, I smiled, and walked away to get my manager <[Faer|eggs]> Manager spoke to her a few moments, there were some harsh hand symbols, and eventually the woman drove off <[Faer|eggs]> My manager came back to me with the most PISSED OFF look on her face <[Faer|eggs]> And said "That woman has been coming here for the past two years. She's been our most loyal customer at this shop, and you just drove her away forever." <[Faer|eggs]> The next day, I got a raise. <Tremens> haha <[Faer|eggs]> And that, my friends, is the end of my tale. #750832
(1973)<Elle> There are two PhDs playing Lego Star Wars II in my living room, and neither of them can figure out how to get past the first level #750836
(60)<throdgrain> i just shot a bloody rat in my garden <throdgrain> in broad daylight ffs! <throdgrain> it was like <throdgrain> boom headshot <throdgrain> i was a dirty awping camper out the bathroom window #751455
(537)<aon> i wonder if visual basic runs on wine <number-g> pervert.