#737075 (522)
n3xg3n> weird... i just found this: Walker Texas Ranger is an anagram for Karate Wrangler Sex
#737107 (600)
<s1um>after meeting a few girls on myspace, i think they need to put a warning on the site that says "objects on screen are larger than they appear"
#737111 (449)
<Peanut> I reckon all cheaters caught on Steam should be given a second chance
<ska> Dude when I flush a turd I dont want it coming back up
#737114 (296)
<JeighEighm> Tauren, why don't you just sniff the packets and find out?
<Tauren> how do i DO THAT?
<Tauren> how  do I sniff packets
<JeighEighm> Tauren, okay. It's easy. Get your network cable.
<Tauren> How do I sniff?
<JeighEighm> Hold it to your nose.
<JeighEighm> Inhale.
<JeighEighm> Smell those packets.
#737116 (92)
<+Rainetine> where have all the protons gone
<+Rainetine> LONG TIME PASSING
<+Rainetine> where have all the protons gone
<+Rainetine> LONG TIME AGO
<+Rainetine> where have all the protons gone
<+Rainetine> they've fused into neutrons, now we know
#737124 (348)
<TheRedBaron> 8.5 million... from what hat did they pull that number out of?
<spldart> sniff sniff
<spldart> I don't think that's a hat
#737130 (1210)
<Nobuyuki`> I just asked a chick why she liked tentacle porn so much
<Nobuyuki`> and she said to me "variety is the spice of life"
<Nobuyuki`> I asked her "could you be... less vague"
<Nobuyuki`> and then she said "the worms are the source of all spice"
<Nobuyuki`> fucking nerd chicks !!!!!!
#737137 (1512)
<WaterBomb> did anyone get fucked by the ice storm?
<WaterBomb> I'm in west vagina
<WaterBomb> we only got 6 inches
<WaterBomb> but that 6 inches plus the ice has been a pain in the ass
<WaterBomb> er, I live in west virginia
#737148 (235)
Reguarding geology vs. astronomy:
Skail[FARK] Yeah, I'm down with rocks.
Skail[FARK] You can't dent someone's skull with a nebula.
#737196 (451)
<Teksura> I got a great Anecdote for you.
<Teksura> Today I was at College, and I was with a good friend of mine. She has been there for me for the past year and has given me all the Doctor Who fandom I could ask for
<Teksura> Today I went to give her a ride home because I'm just that nice a guy
<Teksura> So, as we are on the way to my car, some random freshman stops us
<Teksura> Aparently, he knew me from high school, but I have no idea who the heck he is.
<Teksura> Well, he starts talking about stuff that I like to pretend never happened, stuff that you only bring up if you want to make someone embarrassed
<Teksura> So, suddenly, I get one of my trademark cunning plans
<Teksura> I pull $20 from my wallet and say "Look, I don't know who you are, but seeing as you only want to talk about things that you know I don't ever want spoken, I'll give you $20 if you go away."
<Teksura> He agrees and reaches for the $20
<Teksura> "Nono, you haven't gone away yet. You're still here. I will give you the $20 after you go away."
<Teksura> So he says "OK" walks off.
<Teksura> I pocket my $20 and take my friend to my car before he figures out what I just did.
#737263 (1084)
<Zenji> My brother who hasnt talked to my Dad in like a year or so got a chick pregnant.
<Zenji> He notified my Dad by sending him a "Worlds Number 1 Grandfather" card.
#737264 (68)
<QuartzImg> damn, unfortunately ill be missing the crab race
<llamamall> do they pick them right off the pubes?
<QuartzImg> ever seen Maryland crabs?
<binrapt> I said do you enjoy the smell of your genitals
<QuartzImg> I cant really sniff them
<QuartzImg> Maryland crabs are about the size of a small cat
<QuartzImg> and bright blue
<QuartzImg> and evil
<llamamall> wow
<llamamall> would suck to have those in your pubes
<QuartzImg> i know
<QuartzImg> they weigh like 3 lbs max
<QuartzImg> that would be a nasty tug
#737270 (445)
<Setoshi> im sad
<Setoshi> how i wanted to download house season 1
<Setoshi> and i got the full house season 1
<Setoshi> what a fucking waste
<KN> rofl!!!!!!
<Setoshi> dude but i seriously got pissed
<Setoshi> i saw michelle's face I was like
<Setoshi> WTF IS THIS
#737318 (974)
<Python> Did you fall from a shooting star?
<silly_girlie> hehe
<silly_girlie> ahh sure why not
<GLT23> because your face looks like it slammed into earth at 1500 mph? is that the end of the pickup line?
#737380 (608)
<trips> Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of dialup, I will fear no lag: for thou art with me; thy lights and thy bandwidth they comfort me. Thou preparest a website before me in the presence of mine boredom: thou anointest my ports with data; my hard drive runneth over. Surely fast surfing and low access rates shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of cisco systems for ever.
#737432 (509)
<Sin> MICHAEL JACKSON DIED TODAY!
<Vincent> WHAT!? how?
<Sin> acute food poisoning
<Sin> he ate some 12 year old nuts
#737485 (614)
<Teegan> orgasum
<Stressball> theres no U in orgasm
<Stressball> haha
<Stressball> sounds like an anti-rape slogan
#737488 (1433)
<BigKahuna>so my son came home from school early
<BigKahuna>terrified look on his face
<BigKahuna>handed me two pieces of paper
<BigKahuna>one says he's been suspended for two weeks
<BigKahuna>the other is a bill for $850 for removing a mechanical bull from a swimming pool
<lhging|brb>HAHAHAHAHA
<BigKahuna>half of me knows i should punish him, but the other half just wants to say "my god i love my kids"
#737527 (200)
<Jenny The Xenomorph> I found a good example of why i dont talk to my parents much though. My mum found a picture of the sun my dad took a while back during the eclipse. had a large dark spot on it, which they were trying to work out what it was.
#737693 (945)
<Daniel> Spongebob is a tampon.
<Daniel> He's a sponge who lives in bikini bottom with Mr Crabs.
<Nictheman> lmao
#737717 (432)
<@Merrick178> I hope you get hit by an uninsured Mexican driving an ice cream truck with la bamba playing in the background
#737767 (-141)
<Bull|breakky> lol. i had a few drinks, tried to light a smoke off me zippo, took a phone call, filled the zippo with petrol, spilt some on my hand, lit the smoke and dropped the phone, me hand was on fire. yea i know . duhhhhhhhh@ me
<PistNBroke> rofl
#737769 (343)
<+dogcow> Did you hear about the MPAA being caught using pirated software?
<+dogcow> http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/02/18/0458213
<+TheHURD> *loooooooooooooooooooool*
<+dogcow> Can anyone recommend any good movies? I'm going to celebrate!
#737859 (255)
<marshmallow> i had a hard time trying to explain to mike what the orly owl was
<marshmallow> i mean how would you describe it to someone who hadn't heard of it
<__penguin__> the same way you describe what color is to a blind person
<marshmallow> HAHA IT'S PURTY AND U CANT SEE IT
#737902 (104)
obscurityusa: i showed my roomate ftw.generation
obscurityusa: he's... he's not talking to me anymore....
obscurityusa: like first random he gets is the hulk getting butt raped by capt. america