#732443 (583)
TheLegendofMouse> You know when you drive by those amusement parks, sometimes they have those slides shaped like the titanic?
TsunamiNoAi> Thats kind of macabre isnt it?
TheLegendofMouse> Let me find a picture of one
TsunamiNoAi> does this mean in 100 years there will be a WTC: The Ride bungee jumping?
#732536 (1886)
<El_Pompo> what would be the best language to build a crawler in?
<Emetri> jawa.
#732606 (519)
<bennyb73> People who abuse animals should be shot in the face.
<29fps> If I can kick an animal's ass, then that's natural selection at work right there, baby. We were put on this planet to conquer, and today's pansy-ass hippies are nothing but a disappointment in God's eyes.
<29fps> What do you think the guy at the golden gates is checking under your name in his big book when you're standing in line? How many puppies you've kicked in your life, that's what.
<ksaintdouble> Isn't it the pearly gates? Or are you talking about that homeless guy who stands in front of SanFran yelling?
<bennyb73> If that doesn't sound like God, I don't know what does.
<29fps> IT'S WHATEVER GATES THE GOOD LORD WANTS, PEARLY GATES, GOLDEN GATES, BILL GATES, WHATEVER.
<Valvados> If it's Bill Gates I really think I'd rather go to hell.
#732709 (1006)
Houdini: I have a couple of modems on "long term loan" from work :)
[ape crap]: yer, so do i. then i lent them out to friends on ebay.
#732717 (400)
<blazeboy>you dont have to be willing
<blazeboy>only unwilling to file charges
#733034 (311)
<Ward> man, at work I had to demo Vista for some customers
<Ward> and I was like, MAN VISTAS SO AWESOME
<Ward> but XP is so much easier to use
<Burty> wtf dude, you've been using XP for what.. 5 years?
<Burty> thats like going from vag to anal
<Burty> sure it feels different
<Burty> and its a bit hard to get into at the start
<Burty> but its true merit shines after a few trys
#733088 (2157)
<chilomen> *Now Playing: bathtub_lesbians.avi*
<zeddevil2> rofl dude i didnt need to know that
<chilomen> oh shit
<chilomen> lol :S ill change it
<chilomen> *Now Playing: nsync_tearin_up_my_heart.mp3*
<zeddevil2> ...
<zeddevil2> go back to the lesbians
#733200 (689)
<Jonathan> So, let's assume I have a display connected via DVI.
<jimmy> yes jonathan your porno will be crystal clear
<Jonathan> jimmy: but I like my porno to be all smeary and blurry like I'm in an adult theater with some fat smelly guy pulling his crank behind my seat!
<jimmy> then you need to use the native windows drivers for your video card
<Jonathan> Okay, thanks.
#733328 (282)
<danbee> Ah well. I'm going for a shower in my new rave bathroom.
<weealan> rave bathroom??
<danbee> Aye. The bulb is on the fritz.
<danbee> So now I get an epileptic fit every time I go for a piss.
<danbee> It's... messy.
#733345 (940)
<Peza> A terabyte is 1/8th of a bit, right?
<sungo> If it is, I have a lot less disk storage than I thought
#733864 (53)
<Wells> i upload my movies to snipurl.com as a series of urls
<Wells> base64 encoded
#733939 (554)
<geckosenator> my new approach to optimizing is comment random lines of code out and check speed and verify the results are still correct
#734091 (17)
<MystyGlyttyr> No, had to spank the cat for crawling up on the gun cabinet.
<Vennie> Next time just leave them loaded and let the problem solve itself
<MystyGlyttyr> Nah, it's not my cat.
#734267 (25)
<Stereo``> how much rent is 1 baby worth
<dekkon> a lifetime of alimony
#734300 (1112)
<knucklz> i have to say i think i'm completely out of touch with porn these days
<knucklz> i heard 'inside the porn actors studio' on howard stern they other day and they played a clip from this girls porno
<knucklz> she said, and i quote, "yeah, stick your big cock in my shit locker"
<knucklz> call me old fashioned, but the term "shit locker" doesn't exactly get my motor going
#734413 (2212)
<ShaggyShaggs> heh, my grandmother amused me earlier
<ShaggyShaggs> I got up, got dressed, took a leak, washed my face, got out of the bathroom and mom's there holding the phone telling me it's for me
<ShaggyShaggs> I grab the phone and mutter "Is this more important than coffee?"
<ShaggyShaggs> and my grandmother says "Nothing is more important than coffee, call me back later"
#734433 (1964)
<Erasmus> You know how you can really annoy a trekkie fan when you're watching Star Trek? Suddenly point at the screen and shout "Hey, isn't that Captain Jon Luc Skywalker?!"
<Erasmus> You can actually see them wince as the mix up causes them physical pain.
<Erasmus> You then wait till they've spent ten minutes explaining to you (in minute detail) the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, pretend to think deeply for a minute, and say: "but he is a Jedi, right?"
<Erasmus> This can cause instant cardiac arrest in some of the more hardcore Trekkie fans.
#734472 (1084)
<SpuD|work> augh, I hate MS Office and people's expectation that "IT'S PART OF WINDOWS SO I WANT IT FREE!"
<SpuD|work> for starters, IT'S NOT PART OF WINDOWS, also, IT'S NOT FREE, and it's not even cheap, and NO IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOUR MATE PIRATED IT FOR YOU LAST TIME AND YOUR PC DIED AND YOUR MUM GOT SCARED AND SAID YOU'RE MOVING WITH YOUR AUNTIE AND YOUR UNCLE IN BEL-AIR
#734616 (1434)
<Raptorx5> So I found a prepaid cellphone the other day at school.
<Raptorx5> Swear to god I did.
<Raptorx5> It had a small amount of airtime left.
<Raptorx5> And a shitload of contacts.
<Raptorx5> I called "Mommy" and left a voicemail "Your child is dead" in a low toned whisper. And then I ran out of airtime.
<Osmodius> I love you :D
#734797 (8689)
<Malagmyr> This linguistics professor was lecturing the class.
<Malagmyr> "In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative."
<Malagmyr> "However," the professor continued, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
<Malagmyr> Immediately, a voice from the back of the room piped up: "Yeah..... right...."
#735255 (275)
guitarchick177: lolz, christie's already drunk
SenorAnderson86: nice
guitarchick177: one shot drunk
SenorAnderson86: band name
guitarchick177: i'm halfway through my second
SenorAnderson86: album name
guitarchick177: hahah
SenorAnderson86: now we need a song name
guitarchick177: that's what she said
SenorAnderson86: Oh snap
#735628 (766)
Jeff: I love microsoft office
Eric-san: I love girls, weirdo
Jeff: then get a girlfriend
Eric-san: I never said they love me
Jeff: there is always someone out there.
Jeff: always
Jeff: even adolf hitler had a girlfriend...c'mon
Eric-san: Best. Justification. Ever
#735716 (686)
<RollOver> so whats the difference between dating and going out then?
<Vindexus> Dating comes before going out, it isn't as serious.
<Vindexus> THink of dating as Beta and going out as Release.
<Vindexus> ....and that statement shows why I've never got to play the Alpha build.
#735763 (112)
<Dark_Fox> Macs are the diet vanilla coke of computers
#735790 (566)
<atariboy84> I'm a little discouraged, I went to match.com and typed "sane." It came back "sorry, no results."