<Spock> and felt so lonely I bought a book off amazon.com
<Spock> just to get a confirmation via email
<Dougster> wow, you are even a loser in the internet
<Spock> :(
<Spock> and felt so lonely I bought a book off amazon.com
<Spock> just to get a confirmation via email
<Dougster> wow, you are even a loser in the internet
<Spock> :(
<echeese> I think I befriended a pedo sting
<echeese> This chick's been 14 for 2 years now
<@Headknocker> one dies because he has no corner to cry in :D
<TheFoundation> the french just forgot to build an exit for their troops
<Slash0> :D
<electr0n> second time in under a year. hell under 6 months
<electr0n> took my ps2 and laptop
<electr0n> bastards.
<electr0n> I am glad I hadn't bought a 360 because then i would be really pissed
<pluis> nah, they'd never be able to escape while carrying the 360's power adapter
<EddieGordo> stick them on gnutella
<EddieGordo> they already have a good collection going
Knolly: Got it the wrong way around
Knolly: you > me
Knolly: Wait
Knolly: Damnit
Skecchi: thank you~
Knolly: ...
Knolly: I hate you
VisionSixTwo: for some reason, she wrote "HitlerxMussolini". I forget why.
VisionSixTwo: I have suggested to Allison that wingfic must be written
Arch mage144: "Adolf," moaned Benito softly. "Your moustache. It tickles me so."
<krad89> Spell saggin backwards.
vetiman: And my friend Kyle says to this hot girl carrying a testtube rack
vetiman: "Can we trade racks? I like your rack better."
vetiman: And she just kind of smiled at him
SibL: I would;ve killed him
vetiman: And Kyle realized what he said, and grabbed her boob
vetiman: The there was this awkward silence, they walked out of the room, and 5 minutes later he comes back with a broken arm...
SibL: ouch...
in ana ni xX: Like, for instance, I just got banned from seven channels in less than 10 minutes!
Hero by Words: Awesome.
in ana ni xX: I know, I'm really cool.
in ana ni xX: It pisses me off sometimes,
in ana ni xX: how someone can slap me around with a fish,
in ana ni xX: but I can't wank off into their eyes without getting booted.
<The831st> everytime i drink soy milk i cant help but think "man, i'd much rather have a dick in my mouth than this."
<HuhWhat> Whoops.
<HuhWhat> Don't read that!
<HuhWhat> Fuck.
<cameltoe> Dear Mr X,
As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.
You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you.........
You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation.
However, I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad reference. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the company.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror n.de. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of reference. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the reference on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!
Wishing you a grand and glorious day'.
<ren> I saw 2 men in black suits knocking on my door so I microwaved my hard drive :\
<HappyDude> I was sitting there watching a porn vid
<HappyDude> And it was just a naked girl in a spa
<HappyDude> Then, 3 things happened all at the same time....
<HappyDude> 1) I cum everywhere
<HappyDude> 2) My mum walks in
<HappyDude> 3) The "girl" stands up to reveal "she" has a huge cock.
<bluechip> apparently my younger sister
<bluechip> learning to drive
<bluechip> does not actually look behind her
<bluechip> when she backs up
<bluechip> or check any of her mirrors
<bluechip> so now, instead of having two separate cars
<bluechip> we have one.. big car
SupremeGeekBeing: ?
SupremeGeekBeing: is that some kind of code
SupremeGeekBeing: the flying bacon lands in moswll park at 5?
ductape4yoursoul: no, dude. The hot ukranian I met in Chicago. She went to an In Flames concert and was molested by some chick
SupremeGeekBeing: oh, the pink elephant runs into a shallow well
<grr rapture> my friend was having sex with this girl and halfway through he realized she was on her peiod, but he finished up anyway
<yadrisil> just like bush in iraq
<grr rapture> ?
<yadrisil> he doesn't know when to pull out of a bloody mess
<wesleymason> In a hurry.
<wesleymason> During a storm.
<wesleymason> At night.
Swift: one is to donkey punch a giant squid in the eye
X_Stickman: That should probably be last on the list