<JimLad> you cockjockey
<War_Pig> pardon?
<Trippledence> he said you ride cock War_Pig
<joeh> hes saying you ride cock War_Pig
<[Marcus]> he said you ride cock War_Pig
<JimLad> you cockjockey
<War_Pig> pardon?
<Trippledence> he said you ride cock War_Pig
<joeh> hes saying you ride cock War_Pig
<[Marcus]> he said you ride cock War_Pig
<McKain> we were discussing sleep
<McKain> and the blind kid with bad hearing asks
<McKain> "I heard that if you are dreaming and falling, and you hit the ground, you die for real"
<McKain> and my professor immediately says "Yes. You die."
<McKain> I LOL'd so hard
<McKain> then someone else asks
<McKain> "I hear that if you have a nightmare in which you die, you die for real"
<McKain> and he goes "No, that's complete rubbish"
<McKain> I wanted to ask "I hear if you are dreaming that you are battling zombies and you get bitten, you will wake up and be a zombie. True or false, Professor? TRUE OR FALSE?!"
<Chad> That should be a familiar taste for you!
<exo147> if everything seems to be running well on windows me you've obviously overlooked something....
<3M> who is general failure and why is he reading my hard disc :(
<exo147> somehow, "i told you so" doesn't quite say it ;)
<Sexy_girll> sup...
<bigboy89> are u alone?
<Sexy_girll> yep y?
<bigboy89> i just bought some condoms with like bumps and stuff, we could try them out tomorrow when your parents are gone
<Sexy_girll> you fuckin asshole, your fuckin my sister?
* bigboy89 has quit (Connection reset by peer)
[Ven] In the doghouse?
[Sam] No, she has roommates and I have roommates, but she was supposed to go to her sisters tonight to babysit and I was going to go over after the kid went to sleep. He's like 1 and a half so he sleeps at like 7.
[Ven] So what's the problem?
[Sam] Her sister cancelled cause of the crappy weather.
[Nat has joined the chat 19:12]
[Sam] So no sister so no sex for me.
[Nat] You're all such sick fucks, I'm not coming in here anymore.
[Nat has left the chat 19:13]
[Sam] ...
<komies> Riech, tell me a story.
<Shish> make it have pirates in it!
<Riech> Five pirates and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck.
<Riech> Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal.
<Riech> Each pirate will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next pirate in line will marry her and so on.
<komies> Five pirates and one woman? Seems like my kind of island.
<Riech> All the pirates get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different pirate each week.
<Riech> The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies...
<Riech> The first week after wasn't too bad.
<Riech> The second week was getting sort of bad.
<Riech> The third week was getting pretty bad.
<Riech> The fourth week was really bad.
<Riech> The fifth week was horrible!
<Riech> By the sixth week it was unbearable...
<Riech> ...
<Riech> ...
<Riech> So they buried her.
<starshipparsley> e^pi( i ) + 1 = 0
<purple.toupee> omg that just blew my mind
<starshipparsley> I am reading the Penguin Dictionary of Curious and Interesting Numbers right now, and it is nerdgasmic
<starshipparsley> Did you know that pi/2 is 1/root(root2 + root(root 2 +root(root 2 +....)
<purple.toupee> !!!!
<starshipparsley> This kinda stuff is so freaking awesome!
<purple.toupee> math = power
<purple.toupee> math is knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, therefore math corrupts
<starshipparsley> Math = the only kind of sexual pleasure I'll probably ever have
BBuie-TSS: you really dont have a life do you?
JDR-TSS: There is no life.
<TMX> *write
<Cow> for what?
<TMX> stfu button
<Cow> i'm gonna make a command line program to buy stuff from amazon
<TMX> equivalent tokilling a process via ctrl-alt-delete
<TMX> For retarded programs like norton that just have an "ok" button when they ask to reboot
<TMX> +----------------------------------------+
<TMX> |& M$ Piss-me-off XP |_|| ||X||
<TMX> +----------------------------------------+
<TMX> | Your computer needs to be rebooted in |
<TMX> | order to apply the updates. |
<TMX> | |
<TMX> | Save your work, and then click ok. |
<TMX> | |
<TMX> | +----------+ +----------+ |
<TMX> | | OK | | STFU | |
<TMX> | +----------+ +----------+ |
<TMX> +----------------------------------------+
<Eir|food> "Don't put your meat between buns! Get it in a taco instead!"
<PonyPrincess> oh ya? well i did and they found nothing!
<PonyPrincess> wait, crap
<Uther> bah!
<Uther> fucking disconnected my ass
<Lucca> Wow, if you take that to be an actual, grammatically-correct sentence, it's really rather wrong.
She was drunk of course and felling a little frisky so we we messing around and I tried to put it in the butt, she got mad and started talking shit, about how I'm no good and my dick is small, and that she probally wouldn't even feel it. so we never did have sex.
After she went to sleep I couldn't get the pain of her saying my dick was small out of my head. I wanted to embarrass her as much as she embarrased me. So I got an Idea
I went to my sons room and got his bag of marbles. i then went to my secret stash and got a bottle of lube. I could just image her reactions when you shit marbles the next morning. I lubed them up one at a time and slowly pushed each one in. About a hundered in all. I got so excited I jerked off then giggled my self to sleep.
The next morning I woke up so excited I couldn't stand it. I made allot of noise getting dressed so she would wake up. She did and not 3 minutes later she said " oh my stomach. not again" and ran to the bathroom. I was in thee brushing my teeth. Usually she would tell me to leave but the urge was to intense. She sat down and let it rip.
She dam near had a heart attack from the noise. The marbles hitting the porcelin sounded like a machine gun going off in the bathroon. She turned white as a sheet and stood up. Still shitting all over the place. Marbles rolling all over the floor as they bounced around. It took her a couple of minutes to put it all together. She said " What the ****" I just laughed and laughed as she packed her shit and left.
I really do kind of miss her though.
<DW>That's where they stick a camera up your ass and take pictures of your intestines
<Relentless>that's just great
<DW>Anyway, that part wasn't bad, the bad part was the prep for it
<pyr0>which was...
<DW>I didn't eat anything yesterday. Starting at 3 PM I had to drink about 2 liters of this shit that would help clear my intestines out. Basically, from 3 PM until about 12 I had SEVERE abdominal cramps. I mean severe. I'm talking about rolling around on the floor punching shit severe
<DW>Anyway, during this, I started to get horny for some reason
<DW>It was a strange feeling really. Not even being able to stand up because of crippling pains, and yet at the same time, having a raging boner and wanting to jack off
<Relentless>this wont end well
<DW>Anyway, I had been shitting brown water since 3 (that's what the nasty shit I drank did), and I needed to again. But since I had a huge boner I figured I'll take care of it while I'm in the can. So, I'm standing over the toilet cranking one off, and I'm getting the shits, so I sit down. Just before I'm about to cum, I start feeling like I'm going to puke. Now, I had vomit brewing for awhile. You know that feeling you get when you're going to puke? When you start to feel sick and start salivating a lot? I had been getting that since I went to the bathroom. Anyway it built up enough that I started VIOLENTLY and LOUDLY puking. I'm fucking lucky the sink is right next to the toilet. The force of this caused me to begin shooting shit-water out of my ass with the force of a pressure washer. The spasming of my entire body caused my hand to move around enough that I started cumming.
<DW>So after all was said and done, I had a line of fire burning a line from my balls to and up my asscrack, puke in the sink, and cum covering my legs.
<DW>Yeah yesterday was not a good day :\
*LONG pause*
<pyr0>...
<Neo>what the fuck
<SSB>.....
<CT_Frog>o_o
<MMB>You have lived more in that one moment than anyone else in their entire lives
<Nictheman> You realise if this goes on bash, you'll be part of the new quotes, and will therefore suck?
<Daniel> ..
<Daniel> Fuck you.
<Buck> they say that they're protecting users from buying pirated copies of films
<Buck> then they go on to say that you can recognize pirated films by the fact that they're a lot cheaper, out before or while films are still in theatres, are region free and contain no DRM
<Buck> if I wouldn't have pirated before.. the MPAA sure has convinced me to do it now
<@bobby> lets see the mexicans get over that wall.
<Nrrd> Toke-n Ring networking I'm calling it
Nolano and his wife tells him that his son got caught having sex with the teacher
Nolano and so she tells him to go scold him
Nolano so they go outside and he says
Nolano "son, U'm really not angry with you
Nolano In fact, I'm damned proud.
Nolano But you need to pretend I'm mad
Nolano After this, we're gonna go down to the bike shop and buy you a new bike
Nolano So just look like your ashamed
Nolano So they go down to the bike shop
Nolano get the bike
Nolano and he says to his son
Nolano "Now, do you want to ride it home, or just put it in the truck
Nolano And the son says
Nolano "well dad, lets put it in the truck. My ass is still sore."
<Tatumaru> not really
<Tatumaru> I got raped once
<Tatumaru> but I'd rather pay for a hooker