#708460 (962)
<Admiral_Bayls-UltraLite> The Olsen twins are like dual core CPUs. They can share my load anytime.
#708481 (107)
element: i feel lucky because i won every advertisement game today...i have so many free ringtones its not even funny
#708570 (552)
GameFreak7744: I could be Einstein.
GameFreak7744: E=MC... shit where is the squared key...
#708656 (957)
<VFR8> My band teacher let me try to learn tuba yesterday in the music room when there was nobody else there
<VFR8> I tried blowing too hard and I passed out X|
<VFR8> He came in at the end of the period and found me unconscious on the floor with the tuba lying next to me
<VFR8> I wish I could have seen the look on his face...
#708719 (661)
James: I have a problem.  My iTunes can't find any of the files...
Paul: Double click on the songs and click find
Paul: then find where they are
James: one problem
James: i don't know where they are
Paul: well, it looks like you and iTunes have something in common
#708787 (1103)
<sm-> how would i check a mysql database to see if a table exists?
<Alpha232> put down a table cloth, if it doesn't turn into a rug, then it exists
#709087 (3835)
<@ZoFreX> goddammit
<@ZoFreX> I forgot the definition of irony
<@ZoFreX> so I went to look it up on Wikipedia
<@ZoFreX> but Wikipedia is down
<@ZoFreX> AND I DON'T KNOW WHETHER THAT'S IRONIC OR NOT
#709158 (209)
<Mrod> i earned 1 point of gay for reading a guy's blog btw
<BL> omg you have the high score!
<BL> please enter your initials
#709214 (1225)
<@Hydro> so I'm trying to install this software, right?
<@Hydro> And my PC won't install it...
<@Hydro> I'm telling you, it's either my pc broke, or me being stupid.
<@Hydro> Has to be one of the three.
#709241 (561)
Nash: waited on hold to tech support for 27 minutes... it literaly reconnected as someone finaly picked up
Keith: gotta love that
*** Nash has signed off IRC (Ping timeout).
* Graham can hear the swearing from here!
#709297 (986)
<sulfor> my "" key is broken
<fahrenheit> Ok.. that leaves acdfghjlpqrtuvwxz
#709343 (2019)
tarheelborn15: Eminem is the greatest rapper alive.
Luda848: Holy Shit....How many rappers have died today????
#709974 (1481)
kooooorlin: dude I fucking backed up into this car today!
lhendz: what the hell. how'd you do that?
kooooorlin: There was this fucking seagull in the parking lot at best buy like eating someones tire and I was watching it while backing up.
lhendz:.....
lhendz: what'd you do?
kooooorlin: waited for the person to come back, and when they did, they looked at their car, then at mine, and said "SOMEONE HIT OUR CARS!"
#710161 (461)
<Ritz> I had the myspace so I could keep in contact with certain friends
<Ritz> I decided I needed new friends
#710252 (874)
(BR4M) you take the good with the bad
(BR4M) its like with the anorexic chicks
(JuJu`) well, bad outweighs the good, so its not worth it.
(Ravenclaw) anything outweighs an anorexic chick
#710307 (-51)
SyntaxError: Nanci Palosi is offically the Speaker of the House now
GlowStickNinja: Who?
SyntaxError: Annoying bitch that marched with NAMBLA in the Gay Rights Parade and looks like something the dog vomited up and ate, then shit out again.
GlowStickNinja: The chick that Stephen Colbert did a hand turkey of?
SyntaxError: Trust Colbert to bridge the gap between Politics and Idiots
#710728 (1463)
Wraith2041: Man, even soulless corporations are telling the RIAA to shut their goddamn mouths. I'm betting soon Satan himself will burst through the RIAA president's floor and say, "Cease, minion. My Avril Lavigne songs are not to be trifled with."
#712336 (-17)
<ken> man, I got an F on my stupid test.
<Christopher> Think of it as -A, not F.
#712703 (1074)
<frumpy> I see nintendo's new system is making people smile.
<frumpy> it's only a matter of time before a GTA ports comes out with the title 'Now you can *really* beat that nigga up and take his car!'
<frumpy> I'll bet is sells millions of copies while parents everywhere just throw their hands up and say things like 'what am I supposed to do about it?!?!'
<SForce> they'll just be happy their kids are getting some kind of exercise
<frumpy> 'yes honey.. I know he's in there beating up prostitutes.. but remember when he used to just _sit_ there and do it?'
#712885 (918)
<DarkPaladin> You know how people don't spea properly ost of the time?
<DarkPaladin> *most
<DarkPaladin> *speak
<Tiddles> I do now.
#712887 (385)
<murrrr> *bites tommah's hand off*
<murrrr> it must be pretty hard to type with only one hand
<FraudulentTommah> I won't respond to that
#713015 (-256)
<kunk> sigh i wish i had a piece of the shuttle to sell
<kunk> i should just bust up an air conditioner
<kunk> and be like "the cooling mechinism from the space shuttle!"
#713056 (471)
sionanomics: know anyone that knows loads about cars?
Teh Supreme Weez: Yeah.
Teh Supreme Weez: My mate Jeeves.
sionanomics: he online?
Teh Supreme Weez: Yeah.
Teh Supreme Weez: www.ask.com
sionanomics: :(
#713059 (2322)
<SaintAlvus> Does the name Doctor Pavlov ring a bell?
#713079 (444)
<superrambo> (CRAZY/CUTE)-(PAST RELATIONSHIPS)+(CURRENT OUTLOOK)-(INTELLIGENCE)=COMPATABILITY
<superrambo> IT IS THE CALLED THE "SHE'S NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS, TRUST ME" FORMULA
<monkeylice> love is blind
<monkeylice> lust is deaf
<superrambo> PSYCHOSIS IS OBVIOUS