Doug: Dude... the funniest thing just happened. I was looking for this smart guy that I know on AIM and his name is Russell... And I almost accidentaly IMed you instead.
Russ: how do you block someone?
Doug: You're probably using a Mac... I have no clue
<Twisten> Generalised question.
<Blue> Answer.
<Twisten> Was I talking to you!?
<Blue> Ah, comedy gold.
<sd> I was once trying to explain to an exec why his account would never be absolutely secure.
<sd> Me: "If somebody wants your account information badly enough, he's going to get it. He doesn't have to hack the system, he can just get it from you."
<sd> Exec: "That's crazy, I'd never give anyone my password."
<sd> Me: "Imagine you come home and find someone's broken in. He's got a gun to your daughter's head, and he tells you he's going to shoot in ten seconds if you don't give him your password. What would you do?"
<sd> Exec: [long pause] ... Which daughter?
<sd> To this day I still don't know if he was joking. But I no longer use that example.
<BeaVer> why does my wife have to work nights
<BeaVer> :/
<broken> because the milkman's wife works days
<BeaVer> true
<BeaVer> but all the strippers work at night as well
<broken> hence the balance in the universe
<Comrade> Dude, so the other day after school, this crazy evangelical lady randomly came up to me.
<Comrade> So she was tryin to get me to convert to Christianity and I just ignored her. But I only caught the last few words which were, "Jesus is in all of us!!"
<Comrade> So in an attempt to get her to go away, I said, "Lady, if Jesus was in me I would file charges for rape."
<dan> I really like this girl
<hannelore> Sneak into her room late at night
<hannelore> And play a hypnosis tape
<dan> hypnosis would be the shit
<dan> I could start dating girls instantly
<dan> and if I wanted to break up with her, I could just snap my fingers
<tom93> you know you watch too much porn when you start to recognise the MALE pornstars.
<Zio> man, I keep expecting my room to fill up with jews
<Jace> eh?
<Zio> it's an oven in here!
<zealo> I need sleep....
<zealo> I went to take a crap and took off my shirt instead of my pants
<zealo> I actually sat down before i realised what was wrong
<Ninja_P> Okay, I just watched a guy puke in a glass, then drink it again
<DragonAtma> Congratulations, you now know how congress operates.
<RedSkyinWinter> I used to want to date you, back when I was a failure.
<RedSkyinWinter> ...
<RedSkyinWinter> ...not implying that the two coincide in any way.
[glr] anyone who have this one:ǧÓðúQ¤ò¿Ú¤ËÒ§¤¨¤¿ÈÕ¡© by kazuki tomokawa?
[Red Faux] >_>
[Red Faux] ǧÓðúQ¤ò¿Ú¤ËÒ§¤¨¤¿ÈÕ¡©
[Red Faux] I love that song.
I Concordia I: would you kiss a dude for your life?
paintballa265: I for one choose death
I Concordia I: you wouldn't kiss a guy over dying?
paintballa265: Like what are we talking here
paintballa265: How you kiss your mom
paintballa265: or how i do?
BluECliQ: believing that Mcafee is going to protect you from hackers and viruses is exactly like believing that republicans can actually protect you from terrorists
<nyk> i need a floppy disc, anyone know where I can get one this late?
<Vulcan> walmart maybe, its open 24 hours.
<Jordan_M> i know some mexicans that are hardcore tech guys that could get you a floppy disc
<nyk> so you both say walmart?
<jtripp> I own a few sites and one of them sells baby products. A couple of weeks ago a customer ordered a gift for her sister and asked that it be shipped directly to her sister's house.
<jtripp> Well it turns out that she gave me the wrong address. When I called her to get the correct one she said her sister would call me. Unfortunately UPS returned the package before the sister called.
<jtripp> So, I reshipped the package out to the correct address but there were UPS fees for returning and resending the package. When I phoned to tell the customer here is what she said to me...
<jtripp> "I'll never shop online again, this is too much of a hassle. I had NO IDEA the right address would be so important."
<jtripp> What!?!?!?
dan: i need a serious, business-type description of a blog
null: Unprofitable.
NBnate14: GOD DAMNIT MY ROOM MATE IS MOONING ME
NBnate14: AND HE WONT STOP
MikeGinn440: kick his ass literally
NBnate14: damnit it's like live goatse
<Delanushorse> Dude, I was eating a chocolate bar in my kitchen the other day,
when my mom walks in
<Delanushorse> I was like "it's like an orgasm in my mouth" and my mom says "oh, believe
me, you DON'T want to know what that tastes like".
<Delanushorse> I guess she realized what she said, because she walked out really quickly.
<Delanushorse> :(
<Ben> I love the internet.
<@Reb> ...
<Ben> You can ask your girl friends about their problems
<Ben> Play xbox for 20 minutes
<Ben> Come back, say "Yeah you're right..."
<Ben> Then go play some more xbox.
<@Reb> ...You son of a bitch that was me!
<Ben> REBECCA?
*** Reb sets mode: +b Ben*!*@*.*
*** Ben has been kicked by Reb (Asshole)
depletedsoul: Dam, my in car CD player has broke!, ive been forced to use the dreaded tape deck, gosh it sounds rubbish.
Anyone wanna buy me a new cd changer?, cheers.
Boonjam: tapes are shit
ninav: i don't really like tapes but i gotta use them for french and german ¬_¬
ratnerstar: Make sure you keep them separated or pretty soon all your tapes will be German.
<ComputerNap> if you burn something at a lower speed, it doesn't read slower, does it?
<Ainslee> does anyone here use a computer that much that they find it physically painful to write after a while?
<MellerTime> Ainslee: you mean, on like... paper?
<dorkling> I think after four years I've finally managed to make my schools watch list
<dorkling> during the club fair today I found an empty booth and set up an 'I Hate You Club'
<dorkling> Stole some others clubs sign up sheet that was blank and someone elses diorama board and stuck some stuff about hate being theraputic
<dorkling> I actually had about 9 people signed up when a teacher came over and told me that she needed to confiscate everything I had
<dorkling> then she noticed the notes I was taking for an essay (on abortion)
<dorkling> one of them just happened to be a printed wiki article titled in bold letters 'Back alley abortions'
<dorkling> and she starts to take it from me
<sekoku> dorkling: Did you tell her that abortion was for another teacher?
<dorkling> I did when she started to take it
<ZombieKing> best way to get rid of a client with dial-up, told them to install service pack 2 and call back