#682355 (990)
<Ghrens> Halo had a story?  I thought it was about 13 year old boys with prepubescent voices calling me a homosexual.
#682409 (2774)
<Ranbert> someone shoot me please....
<tele>   o                              \O_ Arrgh!!
<tele>  <\==-   -   - -   -  -  - --- __/
<tele>  / \                             \
#682477 (477)
<b1rdn> WTF are you talking about, courtney love is like the girl next door
<LegenD> yea if you live next to a methadone clinic
#682642 (889)
<ds4l> Tried to beat off today when mom was at the store
<ds4l> It’s just me and mom living in this house
<ds4l> I popped in my fav porno and it started in a different place then where I left it.
#683100 (925)
<pR@y4m0jo> Man, i have to take a huge dump, I have such a backlog of shit I could be a bash moderator.
#683143 (553)
<%spock1104> lmao, some poor bastard in florida had his house burn down thanks to a dell
<+Toba> I would make a joke about needing a firewall on his home box
<+Toba> but that's just too low
#683616 (52)
< soultan> how come when i view the contents of a binary i don't see no 0s and 1s?
< soultan> they don't exist after all?
< soultan> we've been fooled
#684045 (2451)
<Numi> I was having trouble getting screen dumps in unix so I went into #unix and said
<Numi> "Does anyone know how to do a screen dump in unix?"
<Numi> 5 minutes and no reply, so I modify it a bit
<Numi> "Two hot girls are stripping on webcam for me, how do i take a picture to show you guys?"
<Numi> 13 offers of assistance within 2 minutes. Brilliant.
#684098 (772)
<zip> IRC really has terrible markup.  So many unclosed tags.
<zip> Oops. </zip>
#684273 (559)
<Oddness> Is it safe to put a 100W lightbulb in a 60W outlet?
<Atma-Mage> Do you enjoy having a face full of glassy shards of red-hot pain?
<Fire_i> Read: Yes, it is.
#684453 (693)
<leoboiko> I wanted to search for that flamewar in which Linus called the Gnome guys "fucking idiots"
<leoboiko> so I googled for "torvalds gnome fucking"
<leoboiko> luckly, google still doesn't give you exactly what you ask for
#684758 (356)
<IanT> is it just me
<IanT> or is it a little creepy that my mp3 player put "call me when you're sober" right next to "date rape"
#685013 (459)
<Warbum> Hey guys, I'm guilty of "intellectual property theft"
<Warbum> The other day, I walked into a library, got out a book, went home, and read it.
<Warbum> And the copywright holders didn't even get a dime!
#685122 (2047)
Faustmaster300:My friend got kicked out of french once.
Faustmaster300:He goes,'Madam! I have a joke for you!'
Faustmaster300:'What is it Zach?'
Faustmaster300:'Why wasn't Jesus born in Paris?'
Faustmaster300:'THEY COULDN'T FIND THREE WISE MEN!'
Faustamster300: and after about 10 min of sitting the hallway, he pops his head back in the door and goes, 'Oh, and they couldn't find a virgin either.'
#685262 (481)
<Bushka|W0rkzo0rz> so i ditched her didnt answer her calls etc
<Bushka|W0rkzo0rz> and she totally brushed me
<Bushka|W0rkzo0rz> and hooked up with my mate
<joop`> so you fucked him to make her jealous?
#685293 (2425)
<blotch> heres a cool office trick
<blotch> unscrew the speaker part of your coworkers phone and throw in a roll of quarters and seal it back up
<blotch> then after about 2 months of them being used to the weight remove the coins when they're away
<blotch> and watch them lift the phone the next time someone calls and bash themselves in the face
#685827 (1556)
<cheater> legal drinking age in poland is "i have 3 dollars"
#685900 (52)
Corey: that butterfinger commercial
Corey: has got to be the worst marketing idea i've ever heard of
PfhorRunner: which?
Corey: it's got that hand with the orange index finger
Corey: and every time i see it
Corey: i can't help but think someone took it in the ass
Corey: or the ear
Corey: or somewhere their finger was NOT supposed to go
PfhorRunner: LOL
#685939 (1560)
<pmcall221> I'm wondering when Windows will work they they say it will.
<Kittyflipping> You're criticizing millions of lines of code and you can't even get one sentence right?
#686031 (543)
<Nano> Is it "cheating" or wrong to mastubate over another chick when your married?
<Syco> thats like asking is it rape if they smile?
<Nano> wtf... no its not :/
#686184 (167)
F4T4L: by making TV's bigger all we're doing is making black people stronger
F4T4L: soon they'll rule the world
#686305 (798)
actualism: if you bet an emo kid 20 bucks that he won't kill himself, you'll either be 20 bucks richer or break even
#686488 (457)
greyfox80988: The average American spends 6 years in the bathroom, and 6 months at a stoplight.
greyfox80988: I want to know who figures this stuff out o_o
greyfox80988: Cause that's what I'm gonna be when I grow up ^_^
#686929 (734)
<ArianaK> I want my money back.
<ArianaK> I forgot the name of the tea I'm drinking thats supposed to help your memory
#687224 (60)
9mm: I suppose Steve Irwin should have worn sunblock to protect from harmful rays.