#664845 (3850)
<Merrick178> OMFG
<Merrick178> My Mom just called and I sound like my dad
<Merrick178> She said "Is that you?" I said "Yea" She said "Im glad you answered cause boy am I horny!"
<Merrick178> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
<Merrick178> WTF
<Merrick178> IM GONNA GO STAB MYSELF IN THE HEAD NOW
#664847 (1368)
<+Zeraliten> FUCK!! That cat needs to die a horrible death. He's chewed through the wires on my $120 headset
<@CCFreak2K> Zeraliten, electrical tape can take care of that.
<Teqonix> What, killing the cat, or fixing the headphones?
#664898 (958)
<Chappy> how did you go online?
<Quasi> I'm on someone else's wireless.
<Chappy> oh really??? that s great!
<Quasi> It's not too bad, but I have to stay completely still or it disconnects.
<Quasi> I'm getting horrific leg cramps, but great download speeds.
#665000 (939)
<neotiger> jesus damn I'm bored
<neotiger> nothing to do all day but sit on IRC or play games
<neotiger> woo.
<^Migs^> are you at work or something?
#665115 (586)
maus: man do I need a wifi card for my laptop; I tried to plug into a router at a downtown coffee shop and they got all mad at me
#665198 (762)
sluissa: I feel sorry for gay people in america who are saving themselves for marriage.
#665552 (931)
<pete_> Dude, if I ever become an emt
<pete_> I'm so driving the ambulance to a funeral home,
<pete_> Walk in and just be like, "Hey, sorry if I'm late..."
#665565 (-209)
<wixard> so... anybody know of any cool soldering irons?
<nugent> yeah the soldermatic4000 supermax version 2.0
#665628 (878)
<Derkum> You know your mom has humour when her password to the computer is "divorce05"
#665705 (3118)
<LenaWarrior> Does Australia float around or is it stuck there
<KoreaPro> Are you serious?
#665715 (53)
<&arcanum> IdleRPG is like Runescape only with better graphics.
#665751 (278)
<addeman> the difference between me and a soccer player is that i score then shoot
#665792 (199)
<djbjrca> Loonietoon: what OS are you on
<Loonietoon> im not on os
<Loonietoon> isnt that mac
<Loonietoon> im windows
#665807 (9219)
omg its zack wtf: my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
#665846 (357)
[Warmonger] my phone is always off in fact
[AstralSin] my grandma would kick my ass if i didnt answer every once in a while
[AstralSin] and of course, there's always the slim hope that a girl will call
[AstralSin] but they never do
[AstralSin] other than my grandma, but thats not the same
[Warmonger] someone else's grandma maybe
[AstralSin] ew
#665959 (347)
spaceinvader455: heh
spaceinvader455: I saw lake house yesterday
spaceinvader455: and when they first started trading letters
spaceinvader455: (the guy that lives in '04 and the girl that lives in '06)
spaceinvader455: I thought to myself, "Ok, first letter, So, how was star wars episode III?"
#665971 (59)
<Winchester> I just watched a PSA video of how to save ourselves from atomic bombs in the `40s.
<Winchester> And I realized: "Oh, shit, we`re at risk."
<Winchester> And then I watched a video of the Brady kids and I was too happy to care.
<Winchester> Conclusion: The Ruskies used the Brady kids to distract us.
<Winchester> Reason for Failure: The Bradys lacked musical talent and Jan was an emo bitch.
#666045 (618)
<Glock> So i attended this sudden death the other day, a guy hung himself
<Glock> The guys partner was there and said he'd been pretty depressed lately
<Glock> Then my stupid partner says 'Has he ever done anything like this before?'
<Glock> Should have seen the confused face of the poor girl
<Izzy> Maybe it was jesus....he'll come back
#666104 (542)
pugg: My worst gig was doing sales on salary + commission.
pugg: That's sort of like being a waiter, except you have to go out on the street, pull people into the restaurant, and convince them they're hungry.
pugg: Also, you don't get your tip until a month after they've finished eating.
#666214 (1419)
«%[indy]Muaddib» I'm so in the closet, I'm practically in Narnia
#666394 (1987)
<BigMac> Omg, My dad’s just died suddenly in hospital
<BigMac> I’m gonna go see his corpse in the morgue
<Pleston> I doubt that.
<BigMac> What?
<Pleston> Well, firstly, any person would go see their father BEFORE mourning to us about it.
<Pleaston> Secondly, I remember your other father dying about two weeks ago, on another chat.
** BigMac has quit (quit: Stfu)
<Pleaston> Thought so
#666406 (551)
<@Efrael> Funny thing about hard drives: the bigger they are, the more porn you download.
<@Efrael> After a while it seems that there was no upgrade at all.
#666428 (1036)
TTim2627: i try to restrain from illegal activities on sundays
igcatastrophe:really? I don't. i figure, gods resting, get him in his blindspot
TTim2627: africa?
#666469 (155)
<punkomatic> so i saw superman last nite...not only did it suck, but it was super predictable and super emotionless.
<youSuck> Well of course it was emotionless. if superman showed his super feelings, he'd be emo-man
<youSuck> lol "I'm EmoMan! my tears of Justice will destroy you!"
#666516 (871)
<godix> Well, I know my NES was picky, if you didn't touch it in the right way it wouldn't let you play anything at all. Kinda like a woman actually...
<Aqua|Editing> I thought it was more like a man, because it wouldn't work unless you blew it.