#655518 (310)
<Rolan> I think black people on TV is illegal in Texas
<CatSkills> and it will remain so until they televise executions
#655627 (469)
<Nacho> So, you have several types of tourist: You have the "I'm on vacation, so I'm just gonna relax" types, that just wear comfy clothes.
<Nacho> You then have the "I'm in some place special, so I'm going to dress nice" types.
<Nacho> And then you have the "What happens in $location stays in $location, so I'm going to dress like an exhibitionist slut" types.  I like those... ;-)
#655652 (844)
Sleepaholic88: >>>
Sleepaholic88: Err. I tried to capitalize a period so it would be bigger.
#655659 (214)
<Shadow> A super computer running on Windows XP? Thats like a tight rope walker walking on barbed wire...
#655706 (1133)
<AwwJeah> I want to fill a super soaker with cheap vodka and spray down other drivers.
<AwwJeah> Then call the police and tell them I think they're driving drunk.
<AwwJeah> Because, seriously, who would believe that story?
#655775 (455)
<codyryan> because men, have problem controlling their testosterone
<Skiz> not me I'm a pretty good shot.
#655859 (734)
<@pinata> i am going to be patenting my new method of internet access.
<@pinata> it will be 6 times as fast...
<@pinata> but drop 90% of all of your connections.
<@pinata> i will call it ADHDSL
#655875 (721)
<HarbPBN> I got home at like 4am.
<TruckPBN> Get layed?
<ebolaaaa> Isn't it "laid"?
<TruckPBN> ebolaaaa: I'm married... I dont remember.
#656065 (295)
ClonaZjeveni5: It isn't a biased opinion
ClonaZjeveni5: its true
xenotwuz: I'm thinking your opinion on biased opinions is biased.
#656271 (625)
<Rathen> Ha, this torrent of United93 is 747mb big. Beautiful.
#656312 (1703)
<Razhal> The internet is a beautiful place....
<Razhal> Because no matter what kind of twisted freak you are, you've got a friend out there :D
<Razhal> You could ask the internet "Find people who have sex with goats on fire."
<Razhal> And internet will ask you, "What kind of goats?"
#656346 (236)
nocashvaluedrumz: they need to reinvent the internet
nocashvaluedrumz: so i can enjoy it with both hands
#656426 (310)
(+Cafe`) I am into AZN GANGSTAS
(tehjeebus|x) gangstas that can do math... that means they're the worst people to buy crack from
#656458 (903)
<ido> anywho, i'll go write my own
<ido> it should only take a few hundred lines of coke
<ido> i mean code...
#656481 (2301)
Hekili_Manu: Ok. So I called my bank's fraud dept about that hotels.com letter I got since I apparently used them twice with two different cards. I forgot completely that when I signed up you can assign your own security question online.
Hekili_Manu: So when I called and spoke to the guy they use the same security question and he asked me "Ok, I just need to verify one thing. How big is your c**k?"
#656576 (339)
<HardlyJW> anyone know how to change an ip?
<lysip> yes
<lysip> clone your mac
<HardlyJW> ?
<HardlyJW> i have windows...
#656592 (473)
MightyMooquack> Huh. This is something I've not seen in C code before...
Iconoplast> comments?
Iconoplast> HA HA HA BURN
#656603 (339)
<Nick> how come everytime I see the phrase "Future-Proof" I read it as "yesterday's obsolescent"
<Lanei> because you posess sufficient quantities of the cynicism necessary for survival
<Force10> Man, if cynicism is all you need to survive, I'm gonna live to be 150.
#656771 (807)
<S_Sprite> oh god
<S_Sprite> all I can hear
<S_Sprite> right now
<S_Sprite> is the squeeking of my housemates mattress
<S_Sprite> I'M TRANSLATING ANCIENT GREEK YOU INSENSITIVE FUCKS
<S_Sprite> well they'll be sorry when my hard studying has got me a PhD in classical studies and all they'll have is MDs from some top-rated med school
<S_Sprite> fuck
#656856 (803)
eI pianisto: So..
eI pianisto: I called to complain about the slow DSL speeds.
eI pianisto: and they told me
eI pianisto: that it was because all the kids are out of school and "in their stupid chat rooms"
#656898 (988)
<Mikey> So theres this chick at work thats pretty cute
<Mikey> And she saw me outside having a smoke one time on a break
<Mikey> And she goes "You should give that up"
<Mikey> That means she cares about my wellbeing and would possibly sleep with me right?
<stevenst> No, it just means she's an opinionated bitch
<Mikey> :(
#657165 (551)
<Eric> I feel bad when handshaking with PuTTY. It supports so many features. "I can tell you what sort of client I am, would you like to know?" "Nope." "Well, in that case, let me just tell you my screen dimensions." "No thanks." "Do you... uh... want to support environment variables? I got some variables." "... no." "Well, I guess it's echo off and raw mode, then."
#657186 (863)
<iFx|shade> this guy aidan was aruging with this chick emma at tea
<iFx|shade> and shes like saying it wouldnt hurt that much getting kicked in the balls
<iFx|shade> and he goes spread your legs then and ill kick you in the balls
<iFx|shade> and shes like i dont have balls
<iFx|shade> and he goes who are you trying to kid with a mostache like that
<iFx|shade> and she got up and left
#657206 (1529)
<Gayo> I miss being able to type.
<Gayo> It was nice.
<Amy> ...
<Amy> What are you doing now then, using telepathy?
<Gayo> I'm dictating to my secretary
<Gayo> semicolon close parantheses
#657269 (390)
<okin^2> hi
<okin^2> how can I retrieve my password?
<@shasta> refresh your memory
<@shasta> :)