#648832 (1291)
<Prysm> my dad just said 'I just exploded'
<Prysm> and my mom said 'that's not the first time today'
<Prysm> I REALLY HOPE THAT WASN'T SEXUAL
<Prysm> or I will kill myself
<Taidahn`> Prysm, it was
* Prysm dies a little inside
<Taidahn`> Prysm, and a little of your dad probably died inside your mom.
<Taidahn`> Prysm, or maybe on
#648899 (1921)
<Nietzche> what kind of weird keyboard are you using
<Nietzche> dvorak or something
<Nietzche> BECAUSE GUESS WHAT
<Nietzche> IM USING QUERTY
<Nietzche> QWERTY
<Nietzche> omg
<Nietzche> how can i misspell qwerty
<Nietzche> >_>
#649296 (1704)
Iridium24: If there is one thing i can do, its multitask
#649341 (294)
<aptget>  I have $50 on Duke Nukem Forever finishing before Vista.
<carpespasm>  can anyone quote from the bible which comes first, horsemen, ps3, DNF, or vista; I always forget
<soogy>  Mark 13:4 "Tell us, when shall these things be? and what [shall be] the sign when all these things shall be fulfilled?"
<soogy>  Even the Bible can't save us now.
#649383 (475)
<crowke> With the current web2.0 hype, I think Mary Poppins should have an Ajax-powered website at http://super.cali.fragi.listic.expi.ali.do.cio.us.
#649536 (249)
<NCommander> Its nothing like coming back from a two month vacation, and discovering a surprise in the toliet
<g4lt-U60> TMI
<g4lt-U60> in fact, you've left the TMI thoroughfare and entered the "why the fuck do you have free speech" turnpike
<NCommander> g4lt-U60: I didn't say that surprise was shit.
#649649 (364)
<iND-RLM> i heard a good comeback by my friends 13yr old brother the other day
<iND-RLM> his sister was talking it up
<iND-RLM> and he just comes in and says
<iND-RLM> u know if i made a mould of you out of shit.. it would still only be as half as full of shit as you really are
#649664 (1015)
<Knightmare> Well that was a night of fear and terror.
<Timork> ?
<Knightmare> I bought a bag of mushrooms and a bottle of Everclear.
<Knightmare> Settled down for a nice evening of mind altering psychadelia
<Timork> Bad trip huh?
<Knightmare> Horrible, I never want to go through it again.
<Knightmare> Somewhere along the line I installed emacs.
#649693 (752)
<MrAccident> ...
<MrAccident> My laptop really is like an Etch-a-Sketch now
<MrAccident> The slightest jostling or movement while it is running will cause a BSoD
<MrAccident> And it won't recognize the hard drive after that until you turn the thing upside-down at least once
#649726 (965)
<blue_> [wned
<fluffy> blue_: I like how you mistyped 'pwned' as [wned when pwned itself is an intentional reproduction of the common mistyping of owned
<fluffy> I have a feeling that in a few years people will be typing \wned without any shred of irony
#649885 (1085)
(Sethy) How many Supreme Court Justices can you guys name?
(MasterOfHyrule) uh...
(MasterOfHyrule) Bush?
(Sethy) Aaaand how many members of the Bradey Bunch can you name?
(MasterOfHyrule) Marsha, Cindy, Jane, Peter, Bobby, Greg, Mom, Dad, Alice
(Sethy) ...Now what does that say about you?
#649908 (950)
<Litzer> I bought a $3200 escort to take me to the movies last night
<mechanicvirus> a car or a hooker?
#650161 (731)
<+Ethelion> i hate how busses come screaming out of no where..
<+Ethelion> it's weird
<+Ethelion> they're like fucking ninjas
<+FlameDrake> 2 tonnes of moving flureo yellow steel ninjas?
<+Ethelion> yeah
#650276 (1192)
<Chard> 3x12=36
<Chard> 2x12=24
<Chard> 1x12=12
<Chard> 0x12=18
<Monkey> NERD JOKE
#650283 (1795)
<Shaft> i was just reading a news headline and i thought it said "double amputee conquers everquest" and i was like whoa
<Shaft> but is said everest
<Shaft> which is far less impressive
#650334 (95)
<@Malf> dude im pranking people on skype
<@Malf> i called this american pizza place
<@Malf> and i go "are you mexican"
<@Malf> "no"
<@Malf> "ok i'd like to order a pizza then"
<@Malf> "sorry we dont sell to racists"
#650342 (707)
<Sam> But why is it 69 and not 96?
<Sam> Oh wait...
<Tim> :/ Thats a weird fetish and I don't want to know what it is :(
#650354 (0)
<Khobai> ive never seen a fat girl who was bulemic
<Khobai> so apparently the diet works :P
#650542 (287)
<SHn> how come its cheaper to fly from brisbane to sydney then the other way?!!!
<disco[burrito]> cause you need all the smart people you can get
#650599 (1323)
<*> This mouse wheel is so loud I can beatbox with it.
<*> This is a skill about as far removed from "Hunter Gatherer" as it gets.
#650665 (-43)
Nerdmaster I always say backups are for losers anyway.
Nerdmaster I don't believe in "backing up" data.  My data moves forward, never backward.
Nerdmaster I'm a forward thinker.  A real e-enabler of data.
#650684 (1303)
<cathy_n> That's because processed food is so manipulative.
<Yawgatog> Sometimes chicken nuggets force me into situations I am uncomfortable with.
#650829 (1052)
spaceinvader455: some people smash guitars after rock concerts
spaceinvader455: I smash keyboards after I type up a school project
#650907 (919)
<bill> neo is spending all his time fixing his new van
<Kevin> If its new, why does it need fixing?
<bill> Kevin: heh, if you asked that question about software, it would sound completely idiotic
#651010 (1950)
<pengrate> Because, contrary to Window's opinion, searching the internet for ethernet drivers does not go over so well