#646735 (1239)
<MDRL> see
<MDRL> when i want to remember shit
<MDRL> i write it on my arm
<MDRL> problem being, i wake up the next morning
<MDRL> with, like, "30 foot tall cock" on my forearm and no context
<MDRL> i'm sure it was a great idea
<MDRL> but i'll never know for sure
#646776 (3190)
Dr-Mambo:  so yeah
Dr-Mambo:  how about that <recent current event>
Dr-Mambo:  did you catch that <local sporting event> last weekend?
Willuknight:  no i missed <local sporting event> but i did manage to get to <recent current event> and it was pretty damm cool
Willuknight:  i met <person we both know> there as well, they were with some friends
Dr-Mambo:  oh thats just <emotive statement>
Willuknight:  <unecessary agreement>
Dr-Mambo:  well im going to go <masterbate furiously> to <lesbian pornogrophy>
Dr-Mambo:  <parting statement>
Willuknight:  <salutations>
#646783 (908)
<JDigital> Religion in Northern Ireland actually has only very little to do with religion
<bee> is it more like stamp collecting
<Divine> Yes, except there are only two different stamps. And they want to kill each other.
#646798 (769)
Kat: Coincidence may favor the bold, but I think irony favors the italic.
#646950 (450)
<leefal> Holy shit! Zacarias Moussaoui must have downloaded a serious ammount of albums to get 6 life sentences.
#647033 (316)
You Are Hemp: i bit my lip pretty hard today
You Are Hemp: there was blood on the opposite side
You Are Hemp: didnt get me laid though
hobopower113: does biting ones lip usually get one laid?
You Are Hemp: i guess not...
#647049 (1307)
sitexec: okay, question
sitexec: if you have a whole loaf of bread, and 3 peices have mold, are the rest okay?
kitchen: sitexec, not bread
kitchen: cheese yes, bread no
sitexec: they wernt touching each other
kitchen: doesnt matter
sitexec: hmm, second question
sitexec: what if ive eaten it already?
#647060 (931)
<@Rask> ... oh man
<@Rask> The next version of TCP/IP
<@Rask> Must replace SYN and ACK
<@Rask> with ORLY and YARLY
#647279 (530)
creativeembassy: you know what's really, REALLY cool about the dvorak keyboard?
glotigerglo: what
creativeembassy: when you're playing hangman, all you gotta do is hit everysingle key on the home row, and you automatically kick your opponent's ass
#647290 (1879)
lemonlimeskull: You know you've been chatting too long when you think C:/> is some kind of depressed Arab smiley.
#647601 (1530)
Jeffrey: Our customers at Cox are simply amazing.
Jeffrey: So I'm trying to troubleshoot this customer's cable. I tell her to punch in "zero, three" on the remote control.
Jeffrey: These instructions were followed shortly by two tones in my ear.
#647615 (573)
<@semi> heres the way I see it
<@semi> they say you are supposed to spend two months salary on the ring
<@semi> better do that now when you are earning 50 bucks a month
#647694 (775)
<HorseC> parrots are like children... you spend 2-3 years teaching them to talk, then the rest of your life wishing you never did.
#647796 (569)
(@xt) mexican independence day is sept 16th i believe
(@mitch) yeah
(@xt) may 5th has significance in pueblo mexico and those from pueblo .. its not celebrated by most of mexico
(@mitch) day they defeated the french
(@RossH) dude.....if everyone celebrated on a day they defeated the french it'd be a year-round holiday
#647923 (485)
<TWK|Tharensk> im sure you could've googled it
<Fneb> nice to know people still haven't learnt to google :/
<Accipiter> Nice to know that some ppl still can throw arrogant comments on ppl who doesn't know the entire world encyclopedia :/
<skenk> yea because google is clearly in an obscure corner in britannica as far as public knowledge goes
#648012 (432)
<smearedink> what's your SAT score?
<|nevermind|> smearedink: 1930
<smearedink> are you serious?!?!?!?!
<smearedink> dude
<smearedink> fuck no
<smearedink> i hate this
<smearedink> all the dumb people try to act smart
<smearedink> and all the smart people try to act dumb
<|nevermind|> smearedink: welcome to IRC
#648048 (427)
balial: docvin: 24 blows
docvin: I know, but I can't stop watching.
docvin: It's like a fat stripper.
docvin: OK, that wasn't a very good analogy.
#648232 (1650)
<Jlax> wow
<Jlax> i just opened microsoft word
<Jlax> apperently, i only had the trial version
<Jlax> and it expired yesterday
<Jlax> so i read the message it gave me
<Jlax> "some features may become unavailable"
<Jlax> then i discovered what some of those features were:
<Jlax> 1.
<Jlax> TYPING
<Jlax> 2.
<Jlax> DOCUMENT VIEWING
#648252 (-230)
Centurion04> did you see the terri schiavo .gif?
Centurion04> it was a .jpg
Centurion04> afk
#648305 (1808)
MorningQueen: Why are you against abortion?
MassHypnosisJoe: I'm just against women making choices
#648341 (19)
<Analyzer> I'm on the come-down
<Analyzer> I ran out of heroin at 10 this morning
<Breathe> You're gonna be such a good daddy :D
<Analyzer> You'll have to watch the police blotter to see just how good
#648361 (731)
<tarheelcoxn> iank has trouble with English. his native language is Python
<iank> Yeah
<iank>   I'm forced
<iank>     To indent
<iank>   My sentences
#648377 (1066)
<Vorpy> seriously, "alote"? what is your first language?
<Vorpy> do you buy ingredients at a shoppe?
<Vorpy> ye olde shoppe?
<Vorpy> is where ye buye ye goodes?
<Vorpy> muche goodes are needed with whiche to cooke
<Vorpy> to cooke alote of foodes, ye neede alote of goodes from ye olde shoppe
#648665 (929)
mcilhemnny: see, this is why I like bittorrents
mcilhemnny: Family guy, Seasons... 1-4 + the movie
mcilhemnny: Now thats fucking organisation
mcilhemnny: I don't have to do any work
mcilhemnny: I just sit on my fucking ass and wait...
mcilhemnny: for
mcilhemnny: 196.5 days...
mcilhemnny: awww... the simple life
#648801 (2958)
<Demon Beaver> So, at the LAN-party, there was a new guy.
<Demon Beaver> And when he went for a drink, we snuck up to his pc, and created a folder called Horse-Porn on the desktop.
<Demon Beaver> Then we took a screenshot, put it as his wallpaper, and deleted the folder.
<Demon Beaver> He tried to get rid of that folder for 3 hours! ^^