#638296
(2723)<kperpy> then i heard my mum at the door and naturally i panicked right, but luckily i alt+tab'd to porn and took off my pants before she saw that i was on the microsoft website #638300
(840)Mazgurth: what does slashdotting mean? antizeph: youve never heard of slashdot? Mazgurth: I know it makes websites not work #638328
(477)<zacwhite> they should do rock paper scissors over mail <schwatoo> they do <zacwhite> really? sweet. <schwatoo> it is called paper, paper, paper though #638341
(130)<Percy> No wonder this place is empty. <Percy> Who uses windows 95? <Percy> No one. <Percy> It's like seeing a mac gamer. <Percy> Doesn't happen. #638354
(263)<rankor> At work today i saw a guy go in to the bathroom only to come out 10 minutes later looking like he had battled with a lion. <rankor> Now he had either had something bad for lunch or just hade one of the worlds longest "handshaking" sessions. <ToonLord> Maybe both... #638398
(1647)<blehnus>In my experiece, any attempt to make any system idiot proof will only challenge God to make a better idiot #638445
(-212)StrainResistance: the ultimate condom StrainResistance: is an unborn fetus #638457
(1889)<Marques> hmm <Marques> so I have to go to dinner with my girlfriend her mom her two sisters and their grandparents. I wonder what people think when they see a black guy walk in to a restaurant with 6 white people =) <Trip> hostage situation #638464
(383)<Platterkat^> there's currently a hearing underway to find out who knew what and when regarding kickbacks to Saddam's regime from the australian wheat board <Platterkat^> the deputy prime minister said yesterday I" don't recall" 26 times <Kadon> the australian wheat board.. why must they always try to influence global politics * Kadon tears up his fan club card #638535
(322)<Shaft> my dad used to buy them for his coffee and i would always just eat them out of the box <@kaanchy> i used to eat powdered milk <Shaft> that was coke <Shaft> your mom was a cocaine addict <@kaanchy> so that explains why im eating it right now #638549
(1913)Omniscient Sean: I think we should terrorist start throwing in nuclear weapon noteworthy national security keywords to Allah otherwise innocuous conversations. InfiniteSuperior: I Bin Laden agree. Omniscient Sean: So how are Al Qaeda classes? InfiniteSuperior: I have Al Sadr a psychology report Iran due Wednesday. Omniscient Sean: Ah, that Tehran sucks. Omniscient Sean: This bizarre Sadaam open-source database utility has all the Palestine trappings of other open-source utilities. Omniscient Sean: In this WMD case, useless error messages. InfiniteSuperior: Other than Pakistan that, classes are Libby going well. #638598
(1410)<Louie> FUCK <ATL> That's what all the girls say <ATL> Though, usually, they add "off" at the end. <ATL> Sometimes it's between "DON'T" and "ING TOUCH ME" #638675
(472)[blokhead]: cell phones are amazing.. every time I think they cannot get more annoying, they get twice as annoying. It's like Moore's law applied to annoyance [blokhead]: I'm anticipating the new cellphones that have a megaphone built-in. That way, your conversations will be clearly audible to everyone within 500 feet #638691
(1528)<trent> Dude, did I leave my platinum cube at your house? <44lark> Nope, I was in the basement today and didnt see it <trent> shit, I dont know where I left it then <44lark> ya, hope you find it, im gonna go play Super Smash Brothers <trent> ok #638700
(2327)[testic] Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200 [sg1138_] 7200 seems pretty high [testic] I think that includes wanking and wet dreams [sg1138_] 7200 seems pretty low #638703
(615)[Jack SkeIIington] my knees have rugburns [Jack SkeIIington] from giving out endless blowjobs [p-iv] wear knee-pads [rahahda] "job interview pads" #638714
(-104)[sg1138_] My father was nicknamed "Dr Cyclops" [ianmc38] cos he only ever showed u his 1eyed monster? #638717
(-105)<Chuck> so now i dont have to go to the rape center for free condoms #638737
(30)<Sid> SIDS is a sad way for babies to die. <Sid> They could've grown up to be suicide bombers or something interesting. <FingerGauntlet> Well <FingerGauntlet> now you can use the corpses as ammo for small catapults #638952
(489)<Criznittle> cox.net <dersteer> cox started blocking torrents <badger> coxblocked! #638999
(691)<HeatZync> what is the use of the calendar? <RogueRunner> it's like DNS for days #639028
(911)<Z> Letting XP run for more than a month is like re-using a condom 50 or 60 times <Z> Theoretically it can work, but is sick and ill advised #639387
(2090)<Paine> Ah shit guys, I'm fucked. <Criosys> ? <Paine> I was showing my mom the way to download and watch music on the computer downstairs (yeah, illegal, sue me). Anyway, I forgot to factor in the fact that there's an option box to "Search my computer for music files". <Criosys> and...? <Paine> What I DIDN'T know, was that it also adds video files. So about 5 minutes ago, I walked through the living room, saw my mom and sister at the computer watching the visualisations. <Paine> On the way back OUT of the room, the song changed, and all of a sudden, hardcore lesbian porn for my mom and sister to enjoy. <Paine> Now they're banging on the door so I'm turning MY music way up so they can't hear my crying >_< #639412
(620)(@DaySleeper) straight people only need gays for the fashion industry (@DaySleeper) gay people need straights so they don't die out #639424
(1772)Nexion: Dustin is so stupid Nexion: i told him, there is no real proof of god Nexion: and he goes there doesn't need to be Nexion: and i said "well then im god" Nexion: and he goes "prove it." Nexion: ...