#636215 (1397)
<KittieRose> So I get this email from this girl.
<KittieRose> "I made out with a chick and got mono..."
<KittieRose> I email her back.
<KittieRose> "If you'd have made out with two chicks, would you have gotten stereo?"
#636389 (1818)
<phex> so you excited for your interview at RIM?
<burnison> yep
<phex> so then you're hoping to get a rim job?
<burnison> hell yes
*phex waits for the pun to set in
#636447 (1886)
<mmiikkee12> XD, i just got the best spam message ever
<mmiikkee12> "Make $$$ Fast"
<mmiikkee12> "Hold down your shift and 4 keys at the same time. In about a second you will be making $$$ fast."
#636622 (250)
SMARTGIRL483: by the way i think i need to tell you this
SMARTGIRL483: i had a baby by my ex boyfriend
Protege Chris: i should buy you a box of condoms for your next birthday :p... you country girls are just so eager to ride a cowboy
SMARTGIRL483: omg
SMARTGIRL483: i cant help that
SMARTGIRL483: it was a girl
SMARTGIRL483: her name is elizabeth allison rainbow johnson
Protege Chris: rofl.. the white trash equivalent of "shaquana"
#636661 (1819)
<Shameful_Buffalo> I got bored tonight, so I played the wal mart game, you know where you go to wal mart and see who can get the funniest items together
<Shameful_Buffalo> well I give my friends ryan and taylor $20 and they go off, taylor gets KY Jelly, Camoflauge shorts and Predator on DVD, I get some G2 Pilot pens, A mountain dew, Murray's Superior Afroshine Hair Pomade, 12-pack of Lubed Trojans, a pair of Brinks Luggage Locks with keys, Electrical Tape, and some Reeses Peanut Butter Cups (standard double-cup pack).
<Shameful_Buffalo> Ryan comes back empty handed and this follows,
Ryan: "I played your game dude..."
Taylor: "then where is your stuff?"
Me: "Yeah, you had to buy something with that 20 I gave you.."
Ryan "I went to automotive and put a tire on layaway..."
<Shameful_Buffalo> I never laughed so hard in my entire life, I gave him the 10 bucks for winning and walked to the car with my bag of crap.
#636703 (185)
Dleet:haha, pornmovietitles are wonderfull ;) "World Poke Her Tour" ^^
#636755 (1326)
Flux: I've got a joke for ya...
Jet: Shoot.
Flux: Allright, so these two niggers and two spics walk into a fag bar
Jet: HEY GOD DAMNIT MY PARENTS ARE IN THE ROOM SHIT SHIT SHIT.
Flux: Yeah, I didn't really have a punchline for that one anyways
#636765 (773)
<selene|metro> and i thought that i saw you looting
<selene|metro> i thought that i saw you gate friends here
<selene|metro> thats me in the dungeon
<selene|metro> thats me in the twilight, losing my connection
#637196 (1826)
<LordPie> which part confuses you more, my complex lexicon or the fact that i beat you with your own logic?
<jestaa> using big words doesn't make you more smarter.
<LordPie> Sorry, let me put it in an language that you can understand
<LordPie> OMG, ROFL LOL!!!!!!!!! J00 GOT OWNED!!11111!!
#637310 (547)
<Deek`> I got a GED
<Deek`> I got 2 pts away from a perfect score
<Rick> I almost got one.
<Deek`> Did you fail it? Are you a hillbilly?
<Rick> No.
<Rick> I got a real highschool diploma.
#637552 (786)
<aamP> i named my two goldfish 1 and 2
<aamP> because if 1 died i still had 2
#637589 (421)
<+ketiov> coheed
<+ketiov> can i get op now
<@Coheed> If you really want op that bad just make a room and make yourself op :\
<+ketiov> i have 5 of those
#637607 (686)
(whyte7): do you think porn is degrading to women?
(Zlumpen): only the good stuff.
#637666 (352)
<Super_Pirate> "Women age like fine wine"
<Super_Pirate> Show me one woman, one ANYONE for that matter, that tastes better with age . . .
<Super_Pirate> And I'll show you a mental institution for tasting people.
#637722 (962)
<Asher_Dorn> somebody suggested that the offical name for our gay straight alliance should be "All You Need Is Love"
<Asher_Dorn> i had to tell him the acronym is AYNIL
#637861 (205)
<jbskittlez> dude should i sell myself on ebay
<jbskittlez> sell my virginity on ebay?
<jbskittlez> how much money could i make from that
<lieb39> with or without a pic?
#637964 (706)
<LoneVandal> I've heard Korean is the most logical and easy to read written language on earth
<LoneVandal> And that it is way easier to understand than speaking it
<Parn> It's easy to speak Korean
<Parn> See, watch
<Parn> CHING CHONG PING PONG
<LoneVandal> Thats chinese you faggot
#638054 (486)
<JasonF> cdrws are cds that you COULD burn twice if they made erasable sharpies
#638088 (112)
<@Winternight> helloween sucks
<@Winternight> well, now they suck, they used to rule
<@Argoth> never really listened to em
<@DIABOLICAL> I wish I could've listened to them back when I was in grade school
<@Argoth> why?
<@DIABOLICAL> well, I thought Janet Jackson was "black metal" back then
#638108 (1011)
<@cypher> I've never seen the name "Tabitha" used outside of porn
<jasper> I have a cousin named Tabitha
<@cypher> Then I've probably seen pictures of her
<jasper> :-\
#638182 (1537)
<Aunt_Kwan> If you
<Aunt_Kwan> press enter
<Aunt_Kwan> before done with a sentance
<Aunt_Kwan> it makes you
<Aunt_Kwan> look like you
<Aunt_Kwan> have asthma.
#638242 (229)
<Hawk|School> i wish emo kids bled money, atleast then their suicide would be worth something
#638258 (784)
<Tully> Without looking at your keyboard, tell me what order the letter keys are in (from left to right)
#638276 (190)
mattysteppo: tony its my bday
Agregz82: is it?
mattysteppo: yeah
mattysteppo: i'm 42
Agregz82: happy bday man
mattysteppo: thx
Agregz82: im gettin 2 teeth pulled today... so uhhhh thats your present
mattysteppo: nice
mattysteppo: put em on a necklace for me
#638295 (72)
once the winee: i'll bring my dads gun collection
once the winee: and call it freedom of expression
steph: you would be arrested by the time we pass dunkin donuts
steph: the cops will have had enough coffee to walk after you
steph: walk, not run