QDB — Browse Quotes

#634093 (992)

shotz190: my cellphones just gettin worse as time goes on
shotz190: whenever somebody sends me a text, it just takes longer and longer to get here
shotz190: either that or jake wants to know if i can give him a ride to school yesterday

#634201 (1601)

Rabid Manyak: Oh man, my mid-term mark update is awesome
Rabid Manyak: computer science: 61% science: 74% math: 51% philosophy: 97%
Rabid Manyak: Thanks LSD!

#634546 (394)

<Josh> i ogtta go to an apointment
<Josh> i cant spell
<Josh> ps its not a spelling appt
<Phil> smart of you to abbreviate it the second time

#634805 (414)

<@Miss_Morgan> heh
<@Miss_Morgan> ok get this
<@Miss_Morgan> I came up with a marketing campaign for a new cereal
<@Miss_Morgan> I was staring at some fruit loops I poured myself
<@Miss_Morgan> and after about 5 minutes of staring and munching, I realized something
<@Miss_Morgan> red... orange... yellow... green... blue... violet
<@Miss_Morgan> it's the 6-color rainbow!
<@Miss_Morgan> so get this
<@Miss_Morgan> in an approaching perspective and going up, stars and glitter-things coming off of the name
<@Miss_Morgan> Hom-O's
<@Miss_Morgan> and have three gay guys in the corner of the box
<@Miss_Morgan> on the bottom of the front pane, there'll be the slogan
<@Miss_Morgan> "They're fruity, they're colorful, they're fabulous!"

#635032 (1959)

#635060 (1956)

<MJak> whats that movie with the the planet full of talking apes?
<Nitrix> Planet of the apes...?
<Mjak> Yah the one where the space guy crash lands there whats it called
<Nitrix> Planet of the apes...?
<Mjak> YES BUT WHATS THE FUCKING NAME OF THE MOVIE

#635159 (339)

<Choko> i know 101 ways to use a penis
<HamsterMan> cool
<HamsterMan> does it include writing with it and playing baseball
<Choko> okay... now i know 103 ways
<HamsterMan> XD

#635274 (1790)

<dil-hole> Today I was at a restaurant and was waiting for my food.
<dil-hole> Then I started to play my DS on pictochat see? And I found someone that was playing it too.
<dil-hole> We started to draw pictures and thinking it was some older guy and everything, I was joking around and drew a penis.
<dil-hole> I looked up to see who it was and about 20 feet away, I heard a gasp. I look up and its a 10 year old girl with a DS in her hands.
<dil-hole> I immediately closed my DS and hid it. That was freaken scary.

#635335 (910)

<Doc> All this pollen is killing me, You can see the green clouds of it floating in the air.
<Doc> pollen is just tree sperm...
<Doc> I feel like mother nature just gave me a facial..

#635424 (111)

Scouthouse: king kong was a good movie
elcucarachaloco: an AWESOME movie
elcucarachaloco: only one better is return of the king
Scouthouse: never seen it
elcucarachaloco: awesome movie
Scouthouse: but how can he return when hes dead?

#635469 (292)

< f0rd> you can't do loops in html can you

#635493 (863)

<BenS> Matt, have you heard about that webserver that's running off a potatoe for power ... just displays a text smiley face and takes like 15 seconds to load?
<Omnica> Brings new meaning to the term "server farm"
<BenS> You should be shot.

#635581 (800)

< traicovn> I'm stealing wifi at the shearton right now
< traicovn> until security comes and gets me
< traicovn> Some older upper 30s drunk woman invited me up to her room.
< traicovn> But I think the high speed is just about the same up there so I turned her down.

#635590 (1107)

<&TwoZero> so.. the internet at work died completely and after trying to fix it I said fuck it and went home
<&TwoZero> and ran netstumbler on the bus.. and found 336 accesspoints
<&TwoZero> the bus stopped in front of a church, and the SSID 'satans partyhouse' appeared
<&TwoZero> must be some student living next to it or something

#635674 (204)

aaront: :-P
aaront: Whatever ya say
xxkuku4purplexx: dont stick ur tongue out at me, are u like 2 or something?
aaront: you take emotiocons way too seriously <3
xxkuku4purplexx: ewwwww
xxkuku4purplexx: gross

#635683 (1703)

<Harkila> i've always wondered what "holy shit" actually is
<Harkila> my strongest mental image is about the pope taking a crap
<bleak-> a radiant turd with a halo
<Rancid-> like, xbox?

#635705 (62)

<Simon>man, i'm farting like a motherfucker over here! you can really smell the decaying hampster flesh...
<Simon>there's a two week backlog of shit held up by that furry fucker
<Nick> OMFG, that is WRONG, you're fucking sick!
<Nick> you put a P in HAMSTER...sicko

#635741 (831)

<Mr_Saturn> Diagnosing computer problems over IRC is like trying to diagnose brain cancer with a pointy stick

#635834 (1050)

<Triumph> No wonder we can't win in Afghanistan.
<Triumph> We drop a dozen bombs and when no one is left standing, drop a bag of food.
<Triumph> Instead, we should drop the bag of food first and when everyone gathers around it, drop a single bomb.

#635838 (1406)

Lush Puppy: I lost my virginity at an anime convention - this sentence makes me sound a lot fatter than I actually am.

#635862 (440)

<Ezekiel> When we were doing about the 3rd world in RE, the teacher was saying how we live in the 1st world, africa is the 3rd world, but there isn't really a 2nd world
<Ezekiel> So this kid asks the teacher "Where was world war 2 fought then?"

#635901 (693)

jrronimo: Hah! On a whim I figured I'd check some of the bigger companie for open jobs in Boulder... so what do I get? Comcast's career website: "Could not connect to remote server". Sounds like they've got a Network Engineer position open for me. :D

#635951 (-107)

dracony_gentoo: C#?
dracony_gentoo: i like to keep away from objects
dracony_gentoo: especially sharp ones
dracony_gentoo: get it

#636156 (1438)

<Jonno> What's the difference between regular garlic and roasted garlic?
<Arclight> A gypsy once told me it was the roasting, but you shouldn't trust the gypsies

#636171 (184)

<Mik0r> I wish they made cars that run on methane cause I sure produce a lot of it
<gerbil> i wish they made cars that run on methadone
<gerbil> cuz id siphon everyones fuel