QDB — Browse Quotes

#628906 (1485)

<jjccp> i broke my leg
<jjccp> masturbating is evil
<[Slaryn> O_O I hope to god those two incidents weren't related

#629232 (1103)

<JasonM> Oh my god.
<JasonM> I was at the train station today, and this REALLY EMO GUY comes up to me and asks me if i have a lighter
<JasonM> So i get it out and go to light it
<JasonM> Then his fucking fringe catches on fire
<aikon> LOL!
<JasonM> I pissbolted.
<JasonM> I'm scared of going back there tomorrow and seeing a burned emo corpse on the ground

#629240 (821)

<Varka> cds are made of pikachu skins
<Orcinus> is that why they turn to lightning in the microwave? :D
<Varka> Yes.

#629344 (1821)

* Qwyxzl growls at his connection
* Furion sees his virus is working.
* Qwyxzl gets out his Furion voodoo doll
* Furion Quit (Ping timeout)
<Elessa> whoa!

#629500 (1495)

<corncob> I was in networking class
<corncob> and the disccussion randomly turned to personal freedoms.
<corncob> some girl said there should be a law against parents smoking around kids to keep them from encouraging them to smoke
<corncob> and someone else counters with "Well, I saw my parents having sex all the time and I'm still a virgin!"

#629711 (2290)

Laudanum: I think my ability to communicate has gone downhill.
kaltegeburt: I don't understand.

#629927 (1649)

Vfirthd: someday, I'm going to be great.
Vfirthd: someday, I will have all the money I want and no financial trouble
Vfirthd: and I'll have a great, big house with a laptop and high fi stero systems
Vfirthd: oh, and I'll have a job that I love so much, and make a good profit from
Vfirthd: and at that great job that I love, I'll find the lovely woman of my dreams...
Vfirthd: yeah...someday...
GeniusChef: You work at a McDonalds, don't you?
Vfirthd: Burger King

#630041 (538)

<Benjula> Dude, I thought of the best name for a Christian rap CD ever
<Benjula> The RhapCD

#630066 (673)

<Whittney> does anyone know what the C++ test tomorrow covers
<Arc> chapters 1-16
<Whittney> thats up to waht exactly
<Whittney> then end of arrays...or does that inclue char?
<Arc> um...linear integration of the Hermholtz plasma intereferometry function
<Arc> as applied to post-modern dadist theories
<Whittney> wtf are u talking about
<Arc> I could ask you the same...have you even attended the course?? 0_o

#630094 (1302)

#630110 (1668)

<puertoroo> so, i was at the store and the hot female clerk was checking me out and stuff
<puertoroo> then we came back to my place and tore my bedroom up
<puertoroo> then we did it on the stove and then on the washing machine
<HuhWhat> And in the real world, what happened?
<puertoroo> ....i never even made it to the store :(

#630243 (958)

<meeb> what the fuck
<meeb> highly religious client just rang up
<meeb> wants us to automatically take their website down at sunset on a friday until sunrise on a monday
<meeb> as using an online shop is bad and evil over the sabbath

#630541 (2093)

<Sneux_Duck> so today at school we had this guy talking about sexual predators online and crap like that for a good hour. and he said something like "girls don't put your pictures online. these freaks will only collect, trade and sell them" and i said a bit too loudly "gotta catch 'em all"
<Sneux_Duck> he was the only one not laughing...

#630686 (2813)

<@Quasi> I feel like my life is a movie.
<@Quasi> But it's being shown on TV.
<@Quasi> So all the sex scenes are cut.

#630789 (1624)

Ziggy: Everytime I hear a strange noise, I have a zombie panic attack.
Lusty: what is it with you and zombies?!
Ziggy: Are you not afraid of zombies?
Lusty: they don't exist.
Ziggy: That's what they think in movies too.
Ziggy: Right before the invasion.

#630836 (2201)

<spazdor> how do you get a Cisco Certified Network Administrator off your porch?
<cnug> ...?
<spazdor> pay for your pizza

#630859 (478)

<Shard>: I think my GF is pregnant...
<Sapphon>: You should pimp her out to cover the abortion, she cant get pregnant twice ;).
<Shard>: ....

#631051 (1272)

<jimmy_> i use norton
<BoltBait> Norton's is the most annoying anti virus software ever!
<jimmy_> what do you meen? i hardly notice notice its there
<BoltBait> Really? Then it's probably not working.
<jimmy_> ...
<jimmy_> u may be right
<jimmy_> the tray icon isnt there anymore
<jimmy_> shit!

#631180 (362)

EvILpYRoMaNiA: my dad tried to sit on my lap: he tackled me off my chair.
EvILpYRoMaNiA: dog*
EvILpYRoMaNiA: shit
EvILpYRoMaNiA: that was the worst typo ever.

#631408 (-64)

< Redb3ard> so, im using this godawful slow pcanywhere connection
< Redb3ard> 2 hours to scroll through a list, check off the things i need to
< Redb3ard> idiot customer comes along, closes the window at 97% done
< Redb3ard> doesnt minimize it, closes it
< Redb3ard> so i locked the keyboard, blanked the screen, and locked it like that

#631598 (1345)

<DooMGoaT> OMG
<DooMGoaT> SQUASH THE SPIDER AND WIN AN XBOX 360!
<DooMGoaT> shame none of the 360 games are as good as the spider squashy banner

#631627 (604)

bananza: i feel bad for ugly people
rotino: empathyy
bananza: yeah
bananza: like a lot
rotino: look up empathy
bananza: oh fuck u

#631753 (1202)

Banjax: dude, totally hilarious, I'm walking down the street and around the corner I see these people protesting outside a coat shop that sells fur coats. They had buckets of red paint
TurboJesusDELUXE: oh boy
Banjax: this one woman comes around the other corner wearing a fur coat of her own. The whole crowd turns on her like wolves on a lamb, and the closest girl with a bucket of paint throws it on her
Banjax: so she's dripping with paint and starts screaming like she's been shot, and then she's like "it's a fake fur coat, you dumb bitch!"
Banjax: and without missing a beat the other chick says "that's okay, it's fake blood"
TurboJesusDELUXE: HAHA, awesome

#631768 (41)

* Acetal changes topic to 'Snakes! In a movie theatre!'
<Acetal> There's an idea for a promotion.

#631772 (2293)

castuslumen: whats the name of those hats that Green Berets wear?
foranzan: are you being stupid on purpose?
castuslumen: what?
foranzan: you are officially the Rolls Royce of stupid.