#622896 (1628)
<PeriSoft> did I tell you about the time we were playing chess?
<PeriSoft> we're playing, and as usual she's pwning me
<PeriSoft> she takes like six of my pieces in a row
<PeriSoft> and then yells, in the deepest voice she has, "KILLING SPREE!@!!!"
#622916 (1689)
hehehe8383: school was pretty fun for me cus of the teachers =P
hehehe8383: like i remember this one time in like 5th grade or something
hehehe8383: i got a bloody nose in my math class and i had on a white shirt to boot
hehehe8383: so i went to the nurse for like 10 min. while i was sittin in the nurses office, the period was over so my class left and another class came in
hehehe8383: but i still had my books there so i had to go back in
hehehe8383: so i walk into the classroom with blood stains on my shirt and holding a blood spotted tissue up to my nose
hehehe8383: so the teacher pointed at me and she goes "see what i do to kids who dont do their homework?"
hehehe8383: i swear to you, this kid next to me had a MORTIFIED look on his face as he started scribbling stuff down on some incomplete worksheet =P
#622999 (1137)
<b0b> fucking hell dude
<b0b> i hate when the salsa in the jar gets low
<b0b> and I try to get it out with a chip and it gets all of my fingers
<b0b> and i just end up crying myself to sleep with my fingers covered in salsa
#623132 (2152)
<Bonz> I saw a debate in the US Congress where the Coast Guard and others were saying it's impossible to smuggle nukes into the US. One of the Congressman asked, "What if they're smart enough to pack it in a bale of marijuana? We know you can't stop THAT."
#623233 (163)
<Jugulator> i need meat
<Yogi> meat is the bread of life
#623457 (2168)
<predation> so I'm at work and this kid rings the bell on the counter RIGHT behind me
<predation> the kid goes "SORRY" when I turn around
<predation> kid's mom goes "sorry isn't an excuse when you do something stupid on purpose"
<predation> i'm putting it on a t-shirt
#623506 (937)
<Rebka> y'know what i dont get? Lesbians who date girls who look like thye may as well be guys... I mean... WTF.. it's like deciding you like skydiving, then buyng a submarine.
#623551 (828)
RIPpolaris89: omg, brokeback mountain is soooo gay
Brownie8290: NO SHIT SHERLOCK
#623577 (311)
<tyrannosaurus> less is more
<tyrannosaurus> actually no
<tyrannosaurus> they're different binaries
<tyrannosaurus> my bad
#623662 (1313)
<Vitor> When exactly did we stop talking about my penis?
<Gummi_Bear> We've moved on to bigger and better things.
#623768 (536)
MrLauritson: I have concluded that M$ are a bunch of dirty bastards.
Kestral: Why's that?
MrLauritson: Basically I was talking to one of my female friends on MSN this morning.
MrLauritson: And she said "Well, it's Sunday so I'm going to go have a bath before starting one of those wonderful essays which I love writing so much xD"
MrLauritson: Literally JUST as she says that, I get a message at the top of the screen telling me that we both have webcams and can have a video conversation o.O
#623871 (332)
<Omini> Worst... day... ever...
<Omini> I was on the crapper, and my right big toe hurt a little - so while I took a crap I decided to investigate...
<Omini> As soon as I took my sock off, I swear - the smell from my feet and the smell from my crap collided - if it was a movie, it would have cut scene to a nuclear explosion.
#623918 (350)
<swl> I got a tshirt for my birthday that says "This ain't a beer belly, it's a fuel tank for a sex machine"
<swl> i wonder if it was a nice gesture or not :P
#623969 (33)
<Freman> I just asked my boss why he's doing all the new gigabit runs in cat5 (not even cat5e) instead of cat6e... the fool replies and says "cat6e has bugs in it"....
#624098 (855)
< Wombles> i rang up a taxi friday... drunk.. and in in a pirate accent.. i said "Yarr ahoy me maitie! i need me a row boat to take me back to me ship which is docked at <insert address>"
< Wombles> i can believe one came.
#624106 (1118)
pi4arctan1guy: I cam home from grocery shopping and there wasn't enough room for all my food and I thought "This isn't fair! Most people never have to deal with the frustration of not being able to fit all their food in their refrigerators!" Then, I put my hands on my big white belly and laughed a very deep laugh, while my top hat bobbed up and down and my cane leaned against my stack of property deeds and hundred dollar bills.
#624182 (1141)
<+PeterFA> I'm naked.
<+zinx> whoever invented text-only communication
<+zinx> ruled
#624194 (576)
<pixadel> Fine, Java MIGHT be a good example of what a programming language should be like. But Java applications are good examples of what applications SHOULDN'T be like.
#624209 (1473)
<Nickster> Time for me to make some breakfast! :)
<Nickster> Is anyone from England? I have a question.
<Speck> Im from England and if your asking about english muffins Ill kick you.
<Nickster> nvm then.
#624285 (400)
<feikkikuotti> heard about the accident?
<`Riku> no, what, who, where?
<feikkikuotti> my bro got hit by a bus, got both of his legs amputated :(
<`Riku> so you got half brother then?
#624302 (617)
< ispiked> I really hate how these ads have girls in them with their locations based on your ip address.
< ispiked> the same girls live in raleigh and in winston-salem, apparently.
< shaldannon> lol
< shaldannon> they ...uh.... get around
#624369 (818)
-!- blehhhhh [n=muhammad@213-193-176-96.adsl.easynet.be] has joined #perl
<blehhhhh> hello guys, how am i able to create an array of socks ?
<mmlj4> open a drawer?
#624688 (1081)
(Cdian)If anyone wants to see it, I have the entire series of "goatse" pictures, not just the most famous one. You'd be horriffied to see exactly what that man can fit up his arse.
(em-p)Yeah cause when I saw goatse.cx my first thought was "where can I find MORE?" and then, when I found more? "I'm going to hold onto these!" I just don't KNOW you anymore dude.
#624721 (390)
<scenestar> chuck norris jokes are the web 2.0 equivalent of "all your base"
#624991 (89)
st0rmf1re: http://www.wimp.com/jeopardyho/
ruotfk: is this SFW?
st0rmf1re: no, wmv