#616101
(1027)<J-Dawg> no, I just refuse to turn on my heat after my $255 heating bill <WeirdAl> 1 dollar more and you'd need another bit #616259
(3915)<Jenny> I love you. <Jenny> I just wanted you to know, incase you were starting to doubt. <Phalanx> My bro's not here right now, and by the way he's cheating on you. #616340
(467)@redhook: I'm surprised california doesnt require large neon writing on handguns that say "WARNING: Bullet Comes Out Here ->>>" pointing at the barrel #616678
(32)Nobdepot signed on at 4:00:27 PM. VenuSparkle85 (4:00:37 PM): hey Nobdepot (4:00:39 PM): hey VenuSparkle85 (4:00:41 PM): brb Nobdepot (4:00:54 PM): wtf??? you messaged me just to say that?] Nobdepot (5:43:35 PM): ... #616894
(1687)<inspin> so just as I cutting into my pizza, the bell rang <inspin> It was the little girl from nextdoor, asking where my sister was <inspin> so I hold up the knife covered in tomatosauce and say in an evil voice "she's not here right now" <3ll3> LOL <inspin> so she screams and runs away <inspin> I felt guitly so I start chasing her saying "I'm sorry" <inspin> Then her father sees me chasing after his little girl with, what he must have thougt, a bloody knife <3ll3> I hope he called the cops on you :p <inspin> well no, but I don't think I'm getting my knife back anytime soon :( #616895
(2743)[translated from German] <MuschiExpress> kater are you there? <KoolerKater> yeah <MuschiExpress> What kind of spaz are you? <KoolerKater> what's up? <MuschiExpress> You were supposed to burn my holiday videos on DVD for my wife <MuschiExpress> NOT your porn collection ffs <KoolerKater> omg wait a minute... you said you wanted the holiday stuff and that porn <MuschiExpress> Yes, but on TWO, in numbers, 2, you understand, TWO DVDs!!! <KoolerKater> ... #616898
(949)<Korru> Quite friendly hacker/account thief <Korru> Returned my account, got a message in email with the password. <Korru> "Thanks for the loan" #617003
(1562)<Rjx> see i'm fully willing to honour "valentines day" as long as the female in question honours "naked nintendo day" #617073
(25)GregatCW: gee, the more people are paid the more useless they are? "For the most part, typing skills are inversely proportional to salary; meaning, the more money someone makes, the worse they are at typing." suoiritras: ya suoiritras: so, except, does that mean myspace is occupied by billionaires? GregatCW: .... must be... you've discovered the secret to my space... #617265
(1320)<apeloverage> my friend was fired from his job in a sex shop <apeloverage> when his boss found evidence that he'd been looking at bus timetables on his work computer #617477
(1382)<Nichole> at what point do you cross that line from "seeing someone" to "boyfriend/girlfriend" status <RobbiePaul> After he starts hitting you <Nichole> fist or open handed? #617492
(555)<+Toba> heh, you can chmod a file to 007 <+Toba> license to be killed #617739
(158)* Josh` is listening to : In Flames - Vacuum.mp3 <NoEvidenZ> that song sucks. #617880
(2327)<anial8r> you know what? KFC is ONE letter yes ONE letter away from fuck. <anial8r> i have just thought of their next motto <anial8r> KFC! the only thing missing is U! #618078
(2099)ErrorHst : im getting tired of your ignorance DoomDayMassacre : im not ignoring u #618165
(2783)* Sinbad changes topic to '15000 atheists in London rioted after a blank sheet of paper was found on a cartoonist's desk' #618396
(908)<zshzn> the other day my programming teacher said "Richaaaard....I have a technical problem" <zshzn> I looked over to see that his tower was gone. just not there. <zshzn> how that happened, I don't know <zshzn> about four of us went and stood around his desk in quiet confusion <zshzn> one of them was like 'at least you still have a mouse...' #618579
(2250)<Altair> hey guys <Altair> gotta question for you all. <Altair> If you could listen to one song before you died, what would it be? <Spike> The song that never ends? #618715
(-176)<Buzzons> its not i dont know how to do it, its just i dont know why its erroring #618717
(494)<C@^^31> data mining is a lucrative business, my uncle founded Datatown over near Silicon Valley back in '49 <C@^^31> died of the 01001lung #618750
(1390)<Fong Pei> So... today in class, we were playing with voice recognition on a power book. <Fong Pei> Someone told it "Computer, destroy the world as we know it" <Fong Pei> Right after that was said... someone else's laptop finishes booting up and plays the windows sound... <Fong Pei> whole class bursted out laughing #618970
(1302)<PoPsI>Today in english, my teacher asked us to write down one thing we regretted or wondered what would've happened if we had done something else. <PoPsI>After that, he asked us to share some and he picked me. <PoPsI>He's like "What did you write down?" and i say "I wonder what would've happened if i had taken the red pill..." <PoPsI>Then everyone stared at me...it was hella funny. #619062
(2216)<Serpentor> My sister has this one friend of hers (who's 19 about to turn 20).. goddamit the girl is the cutest thing .. (her friend, not my sister you fucking pervert). Whenever I see her I want to fucking beat off (again, the friend, not my fucking sister you misinterpretter) <PainBreak> i think Serpentor has a guilty conscience #619483
(1975)<Viperz> I don't know what to write on my college application for community service that I've done... <SG> Priest in World of Warcraft #619614
(2626)<Conflict> my girlfriend tattooed this guy's dick last week and when i came home i was like "how'd the tattoo go?" and she goes "fine, except that I needed both hands so I had to hold his cock in my mouth." i was like "thats ni-you whaaa?!??"