#603525
(637)<erl1> my gf is getting 8mbit <erl1> im glad i didn't dump her <erl1> im gonna go over to her place with my box and leech #603526
(1926)<diego>: yea <diego>: he says he takes four hours to masturbate <nate>: O.O <nate>: now THAT'S endurance <nate>: well, not endurance <nate>: endurance implies something admirable... it's more like... "stamina" <diego>: well id like to see YOU stroke it up and down for four hours <diego>: wait <diego>: wait <diego>: no <diego>: damnit <nate>: ... <nate>: wow, and i even got it in writing #603686
(325)<ravon> kamikaze_: japp <ravon> kamikaze_: Något i den stilen, men du får lugna dig med parametrarna. <ravon> kamikaze_: Vadå, förstår du inte vad jag säger? Bra kodde. <wipu> oh setLocale(Locale.EN) <ravon> wipu: nah, just speak a random language as retaliation. <wipu> i just did, my choice was java :) #603776
(436)<J-Dawg> I tried to buy a hooker with monopoly money once. <Kyee> how'd that work out for you? <J-Dawg> my mom said they weren't in monopoly <J-Dawg> ...they never let me play after that, either... #603825
(1923)<OmegaHedgehog> Haha, a very funny thing happened to my cousin right before Christmas <OmegaHedgehog> My cousin was watching South Park with me, something he really isn't supposed to be doing <OmegaHedgehog> The episode where Cartman thinks a dildo is a sports watch was on <OmegaHedgehog> So he goes and writes down 'dildo' on his list to Santa <OmegaHedgehog> His dad goes and reads it and freaks out, and goes up to ask him where he heard what a dildo was <OmegaHedgehog> He replies with "I heard Cartman talk about it on TV. It's something like a sports watch, right?" <OmegaHedgehog> So his dad (my uncle) tells him it's a chocolate chip cookie, and asks my aunt to make him some <OmegaHedgehog> So the next day he goes to school, and here's the best part <OmegaHedgehog> He gets up in front of the whole class and tells them about how his mom gave him her biggest dildos and how yummy they were #603832
(717)<d-snp> well actually windows D is my porn reflex <d-snp> you never know what's under alt tab <d-snp> it might be more porn :P #603885
(574)<MrCoffee> Your mom is such a whore, if she was a chmod she'd be 777 because everyone has access #603905
(1397)syamajala: thats y i applied stonecrest: why. the word is why. syamajala: my double u and |-| keys don't double-u-ork. #603907
(1642)<kikuichimonji> The cook book said to clean the turkey <kikuichimonji> the oven had a clean button #603959
(1183)sumgirl4eva12: you are the whitest person i know sumgirl4eva12: stop holdmeback3322: collaborate and listen #603994
(893)<Roladex> i was just talking to some girl about bdsm <Roladex> turns out she thought it was buddhism #604051
(839)<C@^^31> you say tomato, I say tomato <C@^^31> doesn't really work when typing #604095
(116)<CreQ> a lot of millitary interragaters are psychologists <thecatisold> and a lot of priests are massage therapists #604121
(1860)<egg> today at work i got totally owned <egg> i didnt understand something <egg> and i said <egg> "you know what i dont get?" <egg> and a guy i work with said "pussy and respect?" <egg> i was like :\ #604335
(2064)<raela> man today in bio when I was actually paying attention I heard the best owned story <raela> this girl learned about blood typing and how to do genetic crosses with it <raela> so she got all excited, went home, and found out her and her parents blood types from her mom <raela> she then realized there was no way possible her dad was related to her <raela> or at least, not the father <raela> it took her awhile to get her mom to admit it >:D #604428
(1144)italy4me: i hate fucking people. italy4me: wait. italy4me: reverse that italy4me: i fucking hate people. #604491
(722)Jokulhaups: I bet that when gays were kids, they always tried to shove the cylinder in the star shaped hole. #604737
(2039)<Thero> WHAT THE FUCK <Thero> i just got yelled at for eating ham <Thero> WHY ARE MY PARENTS PISSED ABOUT ME EATING HAM <Thero> i didn't eat the ham to begin with <Neon-azi> did you eat it on a plane? <Thero> no? <Neon-azi> did you eat it on a train? <Thero> .... <|silicon> did you eat it on a bar? <wind> did you eat it in a car? <hydro> did you eat it in a box? <hydro> OR WITH A FOX? #604773
(1568)hotpinkcutie09: yea let me tell you he spent one ENTIRE class talkin about how to spell prapoganda MisgivenGlassJaw: My guess is that you slept through that lesson #604861
(2472)Geekie: This chick was yelling at me when I was eating chicken nuggets at mcdonalds today. Geekie: Like 'DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO TO THOSE ANIMAAAAAALS?!?' Geekie: and this guy behind me goes 'Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to eat my puppy-burger. Ashleh: What did she do? Geekie: she stfu. and cried. #604862
(12)<MiniNinjaSushi> So, I cant be a Bi without having sexual feelings towards girls? #604869
(-27)Jimmy: no if you punched a care bare do you think it would shoot a rainbow out of its ass hooges: quite possibly hooges: or maybe sugar hooges: If that was the case, we could start a sugar plantation hooges: just breed carebears and punch them in the face and get the smurfs to harvest the sugar out of their ass #604881
(2924)Yikes: Someone sneaked into Rob's back yard and PLANTED A TREE this morning chunkyq: WHAT? Yikes: Like, a seven-foot deciduous sapling. That's the BEST act of vandalism EVER #604958
(-174)(+fraseyboy) i got thermal grease on my finger. does this mean its going to melt? O_o!!! (+chronomaster5042) no, it meand you cant melt, go ahead, touch something hot (+fraseyboy) wow cool (+fraseyboy) does it work the same way for cold stuff? (+chronomaster5042) no (+chronomaster5042) it THERMAL greese (+chronomaster5042) not COLD greese (+fraseyboy) il put my finger in the fridge just to try it out... #604965
(1561)<Nihility> I wanna buy starcraft cereal. <NoJuice4u> with marshmallow zerglings???? <Inside> kekekekeke sugar rush