#603525 (637)
<erl1> my gf is getting 8mbit
<erl1> im glad i didn't dump her
<erl1> im gonna go over to her place with my box and leech
#603526 (1926)
<diego>: yea
<diego>: he says he takes four hours to masturbate
<nate>: O.O
<nate>: now THAT'S endurance
<nate>: well, not endurance
<nate>: endurance implies something admirable... it's more like... "stamina"
<diego>: well id like to see YOU stroke it up and down for four hours
<diego>: wait
<diego>: wait
<diego>: no
<diego>: damnit
<nate>: ...
<nate>: wow, and i even got it in writing
#603686 (325)
<ravon> kamikaze_: japp
<ravon> kamikaze_: Något i den stilen, men du får lugna dig med parametrarna.
<ravon> kamikaze_: Vadå, förstår du inte vad jag säger? Bra kodde.
<wipu> oh setLocale(Locale.EN)
<ravon> wipu: nah, just speak a random language as retaliation.
<wipu> i just did, my choice was java :)
#603776 (436)
<J-Dawg> I tried to buy a hooker with monopoly money once.
<Kyee> how'd that work out for you?
<J-Dawg> my mom said they weren't in monopoly
<J-Dawg> ...they never let me play after that, either...
#603825 (1923)
<OmegaHedgehog> Haha, a very funny thing happened to my cousin right before Christmas
<OmegaHedgehog> My cousin was watching South Park with me, something he really isn't supposed to be doing
<OmegaHedgehog> The episode where Cartman thinks a dildo is a sports watch was on
<OmegaHedgehog> So he goes and writes down 'dildo' on his list to Santa
<OmegaHedgehog> His dad goes and reads it and freaks out, and goes up to ask him where he heard what a dildo was
<OmegaHedgehog> He replies with "I heard Cartman talk about it on TV. It's something like a sports watch, right?"
<OmegaHedgehog> So his dad (my uncle) tells him it's a chocolate chip cookie, and asks my aunt to make him some
<OmegaHedgehog> So the next day he goes to school, and here's the best part
<OmegaHedgehog> He gets up in front of the whole class and tells them about how his mom gave him her biggest dildos and how yummy they were
#603832 (717)
<d-snp> well actually windows D is my porn reflex
<d-snp> you never know what's under alt tab
<d-snp> it might be more porn :P
#603885 (574)
<MrCoffee> Your mom is such a whore, if she was a chmod she'd be 777 because everyone has access
#603905 (1397)
syamajala: thats y i applied
stonecrest: why. the word is why.
syamajala: my double u and |-| keys don't double-u-ork.
#603907 (1642)
<kikuichimonji> The cook book said to clean the turkey
<kikuichimonji> the oven had a clean button
#603959 (1183)
sumgirl4eva12: you are the whitest person i know
sumgirl4eva12: stop
holdmeback3322: collaborate and listen
#603994 (893)
<Roladex> i was just talking to some girl about bdsm
<Roladex> turns out she thought it was buddhism
#604051 (839)
<C@^^31> you say tomato, I say tomato
<C@^^31> doesn't really work when typing
#604095 (116)
<CreQ> a lot of millitary interragaters are psychologists
<thecatisold> and a lot of priests are massage therapists
#604121 (1860)
<egg> today at work i got totally owned
<egg> i didnt understand something
<egg> and i said
<egg> "you know what i dont get?"
<egg> and a guy i work with said "pussy and respect?"
<egg> i was like  :\
#604335 (2064)
<raela> man today in bio when I was actually paying attention I heard the best owned story
<raela> this girl learned about blood typing and how to do genetic crosses with it
<raela> so she got all excited, went home, and found out her and her parents blood types from her mom
<raela> she then realized there was no way possible her dad was related to her
<raela> or at least, not the father
<raela> it took her awhile to get her mom to admit it >:D
#604428 (1144)
italy4me: i hate fucking people.
italy4me: wait.
italy4me: reverse that
italy4me: i fucking hate people.
#604491 (722)
Jokulhaups: I bet that when gays were kids, they always tried to shove the cylinder in the star shaped hole.
#604737 (2039)
<Thero> WHAT THE FUCK
<Thero> i just got yelled at for eating ham
<Thero> WHY ARE MY PARENTS PISSED ABOUT ME EATING HAM
<Thero> i didn't eat the ham to begin with
<Neon-azi> did you eat it on a plane?
<Thero> no?
<Neon-azi> did you eat it on a train?
<Thero> ....
<|silicon> did you eat it on a bar?
<wind> did you eat it in a car?
<hydro> did you eat it in a box?
<hydro> OR WITH A FOX?
#604773 (1568)
hotpinkcutie09: yea let me tell you he spent one ENTIRE class talkin about how to spell prapoganda
MisgivenGlassJaw: My guess is that you slept through that lesson
#604861 (2472)
Geekie: This chick was yelling at me when I was eating chicken nuggets at mcdonalds today.
Geekie: Like 'DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO TO THOSE ANIMAAAAAALS?!?'
Geekie: and this guy behind me goes 'Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to eat my puppy-burger.
Ashleh: What did she do?
Geekie: she stfu. and cried.
#604862 (12)
<MiniNinjaSushi> So, I cant be a Bi without having sexual feelings towards girls?
#604869 (-27)
Jimmy: no  if you punched a care bare do you think it would shoot a rainbow out of its ass
hooges: quite possibly
hooges: or maybe sugar
hooges: If that was the case, we could start a sugar plantation
hooges: just breed carebears and punch them in the face and get the smurfs to harvest the sugar out of their ass
#604881 (2924)
Yikes: Someone sneaked into Rob's back yard and PLANTED A TREE this morning
chunkyq: WHAT?
Yikes: Like, a seven-foot deciduous sapling. That's the BEST act of vandalism EVER
#604958 (-174)
(+fraseyboy) i got thermal grease on my finger. does this mean its going to melt? O_o!!!
(+chronomaster5042) no, it meand you cant melt, go ahead, touch something hot
(+fraseyboy) wow cool
(+fraseyboy) does it work the same way for cold stuff?
(+chronomaster5042) no
(+chronomaster5042) it THERMAL greese
(+chronomaster5042) not COLD greese
(+fraseyboy) il put my finger in the fridge just to try it out...
#604965 (1561)
<Nihility> I wanna buy starcraft cereal.
<NoJuice4u> with marshmallow zerglings????
<Inside> kekekekeke sugar rush