Mr Kedian: Santa can hurry down your chimney all year 'round with this naughty -- and nice! -- self-pleasuring tool. Please remove decorative hat before use.
Mr Kedian: Santa can hurry down your chimney all year 'round with this naughty -- and nice! -- self-pleasuring tool. Please remove decorative hat before use.
<Drhubbard> they spent about half the film going through the fridge labelling everything..
booger> "What beer should I drink?"
booger> "I think a cute girl looked at me for a half second. What should I do?"
booger> "I'm completely wasted. Should I drive home?"
faz> "A vop just pullef me over!!11"
faust> we could get a lan party going in the jail cell
<DannyB> i told her i saved at the checkpoint a couple minutes back
<DannyB> and can reload from there if i die
<DannyB> she was confused
<Blaxthos> DO YOU KNOW
<Blaxthos> i'm slightly ashamed
<Blaxthos> but
<Blaxthos> then i remember being 7 yrs old
<AltSnooze> you peepeed in your pants again?
<Blaxthos> dancing with mom
<Blaxthos> Elton John - I'm Still Standing.mp3
<Blaxthos> i still love that song
<chilly> did you uncle touch you in funny places?
<Blaxthos> no :(
<Rust_Bunny> It's meant to be taken orally ..
<Jones> I will now take that quote out of context and spam it to people.
<Jones> [11:20:25 PM] Bakazuki: Damn it, I don't care if mouth is going to hurt like a bitch, I just want it now!
<Arendra> :-)
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Slider: Yea
silic0nsilence: We were to open up at 12am. It's 11:58pm and there is a HUGE line of blood-thirsty, hard drive-wanting, maniacs. So my friend dares me to scream we have one xbox360.
Slider: Holy shit.
silic0nsilence: So he gives me $20. I go up to the gate and scream, "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE JUST RECIEVED ONE XBOX360!!" Immediatly people are storming the gate, passing me money through the cage to get it. They were screaming and knocked over this old lady. My boss just looks at me with these red eyes. In them, I saw fear and rage.
Slider: Omg you dumb shit!
Slider: Wait a second, it's 12:46A, and it's black Friday. What did this happen minutes ago? Shouldn't you be at work?
silic0nsilence: Yeah..
silic0nsilence: Pretty sure I don't work at CompUSA any more..
punch: working on a pentium 200 webserver
punch: fixing a customer's pentium 2 233 machine
punch: loading win98se on it
OSSThe: ewww
punch: i am in some sort of late 90s hell
<punch> ah, thursday, a very good year
<punch> lemme just get this cap unscrewed and I can get to guzzlin'
<h4m911> heh, cap
<punch> don't all good wines have handles on the bottle?
<punch> the best ones come in a space-age foil pouch inside a durable cardboard box
<punch> in 50 years, wealthy people around the world will boast of their fine collections of boxed chardonnay
<Dolphin_24994> And this is bad?
<Corsair> Damn straight. That fucking idiot couldn't teach someone how to pour water out of a bucket with instructions printed on the bottom.
Decagon111: Was it an interesting experience?
TwoHundredNinety: It was... uh. Quite interesting.
TwoHundredNinety: We had Scripture quoted at us. There was a large stained-glass cross. Santa ordered Oompa Loompas to break his elves' kneecaps when they went on strike. There were four machine-gun shootings. Santa died. (Three times, technically.) There were two death threats, independent of the machine gun business.
Decagon111: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
TwoHundredNinety: Yes. ... The death threats were in the service of an anti-materialism parable.
Decagon111: ... I was _going_ to say how weird it was that there were carolers going around two weeks early tonight... but I don't think I'll bother.
<Thuryn> cell phones.... *maybe*. the phones themselves are still changing too much
<Thuryn> pretty soon, the damn phones will be so small that the air movement from your speech will also power the phone
<Thuryn> but then you couldn't talk to your g/f, because *you'd* never talk, so your phone would die
<linuxelf> yeah, we had a few beers...
Q-13: I can now, dumbass!
orangemunky: ........
orangemunky: shit
<CommanderBob> vampire style?
<princessofpie> what?
<rhodes> wtf is vampire style?
<b00z> WHAT THE FUCK?
<xanthes> shut up and let me tell you the story
<rhodes> no, you tell us what the FUCKING HELL 'vampire style' is
<xanthes> ...
<xanthes> look, its not important
<CommanderBob> geez
<CommanderBob> pervert
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<b00z> i have to say im with bob on this one
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<rhodes> yeah
<rhodes> i don't really want to be around to hear this
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<xanthes> guess its just u and me then PoP
<princessofpie> no, you stay the fuck away from me, you fucking pervert
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<TomskE`away> if u get pulled over by like highway cops
<TomskE`away> you go " i bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the highway cops ball"
<TomskE`away> so they go
<TomskE`away> "highway cops dont have balls"
holler its emily: 1. You're bald your whole life.
holler its emily: 2. You have a hole in your head.
holler its emily: 3. Your neighbors are nuts.
holler its emily: 4. The guy behind you is an asshole.
holler its emily: And lastly...
holler its emily: 5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint
DrkVengeance: you wouldnt always faint
DrkVengeance: depends on how well you can hold your licker
<Biz> at least it wasn't malicious, like my car getting broke into for the 17th time
<wiff> are you keeping in valuables in the car that are visible?
<Biz> absolutely nothing
<Biz> because it gets broke into so much
<Biz> one time someone stole it from the park and ride
<Biz> so i report it, and i get a call that night
<Biz> my car has been abandoned...in another park and ride
<Biz> like 20 miles away
<Biz> it's like, just take the bus, dude