#460408
(1758)(Deranged): I like my women like I like my coffee. (Jet): Black? (SteveTheImpermeableHamster): full of your cream? (mistik): hawt? (Jet): Columbian? (Aimee): hot? (Jet): From McDonalds? (SteveTheImpermeableHamster): in a cup? (Jet): Spilt all over your lap? (mistik): cheap? (Deranged): No.. (Deranged): Ground up, and in the freezer. (mistik): oh (mistik): lmao #460449
(816)<chiks> is aluminum better than steel in most cases? <SJr|Tecra> No what would you be more scared of <SJr|Tecra> the man of steel or the man of aluminium #461213
(1249)<Langly1> ive got a dual socket A system running cheap chips, i use it mainly to encode 80's mp3's i call it Duron Duron #461532
(991)NaTTiE 623: just a sample of how crazy ms. bauer is......today in health were were taking a test and the question was : WHICH ONE OF THESE IS NOT A FACTOR OF PREGNANCY? and one of the multiple choice questions was : pregnancy makes a woman unexplicably want to chase after and poison squirrels #461874
(416)<Brock> Work work work! <Brock> That's all I do for me <Brock> You'd think I'd pay me in something other than handjobs. #461919
(509)<Barb> I just looked over at a cup on my desk and thought "Ew, that milk must be really old. Its like, orangey. Strange that it doesn't smell." And I realized it was orange juice and not milk. #462307
(2284)SouLTaKeR2023: I was on the phone with a friend SouLTaKeR2023: and we happen to talk about foreskin ARazorbladeGrin: amazing SouLTaKeR2023: and my lil bro walks in SouLTaKeR2023: and hes like SouLTaKeR2023: "whats foreskin"? SouLTaKeR2023: Im like SouLTaKeR2023: "Its the skin on the forehead" SouLTaKeR2023: I flicked him on the forehead so he would leave SouLTaKeR2023: and now hes running around the house yelling SouLTaKeR2023: "MAMA ALEX FLICKED MY FORESKIN" ARazorbladeGrin: ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL #462310
(9672)< robT> Name ONE thing that your windows comp can do that my MAC cant < bawss> Right click. #462397
(2774)<Gregoray> Most embarassing moment would be when I finished wanking, and stoop up to do up my pants, when i noticed a red dot on my nuts. When i looked up, I realized my 13 year old niegbor and her 2 friends where watching me through my window and had a lazer pointer aimed at me. #462443
(2860)TANK Ex Mortis: I HATE WINDOWS!!!11one AkiraBlast45387: ha AkiraBlast45387: y? TANK Ex Mortis: "Cannot delete file: It is being used by another person or program. Close any programs that might be using the file and try again." TANK Ex Mortis: WHAT FILE, YOU SHITHOLE OPERATING SYSTEM!? TANK Ex Mortis: If I was on Linux, it'd be like "There was an error, program X doesn't want you to delete that file. Here's a helpful link to teach you how to get around that. Would you like some tea?" TANK Ex Mortis: Of course, when I want to install something on Linux, it says "You can't install that until you install these 50 libraries, update these 3 drives, downgrade this 1 driver, and pick my mom up from the airport." TANK Ex Mortis: Whereas with Windows, it says "Click the next button over and over again until the program is installed. It will then work perfectly unless it doesn't." TANK Ex Mortis: Unless it's made by Valve, in which case it says "DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE" and blows up your computer. ;_; #462621
(1094)Wardave: My girlfriend tells me I'm lazy and have no ambition. CancersDan: Dump her ass Wardave: I should but that's just way too much work #462862
(1739)Alittleredhead16: why'd you get off yahoo LamontOfnazareth: Because I got bored. Alittleredhead16: ooohhhhhhhhhh Alittleredhead16: yea sure Alittleredhead16: dont lie, its becuz you think i'm ugly LamontOfNazareth: No. I closed your webcam because I think you're ugly. LamontOfNazareth: I got off because I got bored. #463015
(889)<Gorgoroth> can u read dutch? <PimPFISH> only if its in english. #463304
(1036)<evilada> is it right to cheat on a paper for ethics class? <evilada> i mean im just saying <evilada> things would get done a whole lot quicker <evilada> and it would be a wonderful practice in irony <mike310> what if you get caught? <evilada> just say it was some ass backwards experiment about ethics and shit. You'll probably get an A. #463561
(2742)<crax> my son get an ibook from school. 5th grade. <Pothead> he doesn't deserve an ibook <Pothead> give him an iBinder like we used to have <Pothead> and an iPencil <Pothead> and an iLunchpail with Spiderman on it like I used to have <z1g-work> did you play with your iFriends <Pothead> iDidn't have any #463734
(1997)(@Blaxthos) CANTON, Georgia (AP) -- Christmas is still going strong for 14-year-old Nick Waters. (@Blaxthos) When the boy's church asked what he wanted for Christmas, Nick, who cannot talk and was born with no arms, slowly typed his reply with his feet: Lots of Christmas cards. Ten thousand of them. (@Blaxthos) jesus christ (@Blaxthos) ASK FOR ARMS DUMBASS #463776
(586)<Turglith> as a DM you have UBER CONTROL! <Uenohai> Yeh my friends and I were watching some Jesus Freak documentary <Uenohai> Said gamers and Yu-Gi-Oh was satan <Uenohai> So my friends and I made a pact <Uenohai> First one to hell is Dungeon Master #464125
(2276)<cancerpass> ever watched the monty python show/movies? <over-thurr> yeah he's a very funny guy! <cancerpass> i'll take that as a no #464258
(1324)<vapoR> lately my mother has been complaining about how much time the dad has been spending in the computer room.. <vapoR> she comes up to me and goes "For christmas, I want you to get your father a gift that will get him out of that stupid computer room!" <vapoR> so i went out and purchased him a wireless router :p #464385
(4300)<@insomnia> it only takes three commands to install Gentoo <@insomnia> cfdisk /dev/hda && mkfs.xfs /dev/hda1 && mount /dev/hda1 /mnt/gentoo/ && chroot /mnt/gentoo/ && env-update && . /etc/profile && emerge sync && cd /usr/portage && scripts/bootsrap.sh && emerge system && emerge vim && vi /etc/fstab && emerge gentoo-dev-sources && cd /usr/src/linux && make menuconfig && make install modules_install && emerge gnome mozilla-firefox openoffice && emerge grub && cp /boot/grub/grub.conf.sample /boot/grub/grub.conf && vi /boot/grub/grub.conf && grub && init 6 <@insomnia> that's the first one #464444
(1117)<Phryss> Sometimes, I sit back and think about what my father used to tell me about the birds and the bees: "Stop fucking the dog. The neighbors are watching, and it's their dog." #464561
(2177)<xp99> We all know that it is a sin for an Islamic male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and that he must commit suicide if he does. <xp99> So next Sunday at 4:00 PM Eastern time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. <xp99> Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this antiterrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not terrorists, and to demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women. <xp99> And since the Koran also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your antiterrorist sentiment. <xp99> The American Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti terrorist activity. <xp99> God bless America and GOD BLESS AMERICAN WOMEN! IT IS YOUR PATRIOTIC DUTY TO PASS THIS ON #465551
(1137)<LazyWulfran> i've watched enough asian porn to discern that when 2 asian people have sex, semen goes everywhere except where it needs to go for conception. therefore, they must have an alternate method of reproduction #465591
(1924)<Robyn> then we realised that james had fucked with the bunsen burner <Robyn> and set the lab on fire <Robyn> penis ensued <tempura> ...penis? <Robyn> panic <Robyn> PANIC <Robyn> shit #465691
(795)Jeff: I got a hug from a girl at work today. Vann: cool Jeff: No, not really... Jeff: She was wearing a shirt that my ex has...the exact one Jeff: As well at the matching shoes my ex has...the exact ones Jeff: As well as the exact perfume my ex wears. Jeff: .... Jeff: She must be killed. Jeff: I'm not falling for that one twice. Vann: lol