#465695
(2411)DominationForce: omfg DominationForce: I'm sitting on a greyhound bus today on my way back to college DominationForce: and this girl spends 2 fucking hours on her cellphone whining to her boyfriend that her cellphone bill is huge DominationForce: and then she calls her mom and whines some more #466023
(2874)<nick> FUCKING HELL!!!! <nick> I swear one day I'm just gonna go and hunt down every stupid bitch on earth and put them out of their misery... <R4an0m> ? <nick> Ok, theres this resteraunt just down the road from me where I eat every now and then.. other night I go in for dinner with my girlfriend. After drinking half a bottle of wine, my bowls begin to complain, so I head to the bathroom <nick> I use the urinal and turn towards the sink and start to zip up at the same time when in walks this young girl of about 18, quite nice looking, and there I am with my dick still halfway out of my pants... <nick> so I turn pretty damn fast in the other direction and zip up, then turn back expecting to find she'd dissapeared, only to discover that not only hadn't she left, she'd let the door shut and walked in a couple of steps towards me. Now I'm pretty embarrassed and point out to her that she had gone through the wrong door. <nick> She tells me that no she didn't and then she fucking reaches down and grabs my dick through my pants! I take a quick step backwards and ask her what the hell does she think she's doing (I mean shit what would happen if I wandered into the ladies and started feeling people up??).. she gets this disgusted look on her face and turns round, storms out the bathroom <nick> Now I'm left standing there going "what the fuck just happened??" for about a minute, then wash my hands and head back to the resteranut... only to be greeted by the young lady, the resteraunt manager and some 7 foot tall, 4 foot wide dude with "Security" written on his shirt. Alarm bells proceed to go off in my head, but I stay calm and ask what the problem is <nick> the manager tells me the young lady (known from here on in as the bitch) has complained about me sexually harassing her when she accidently walked into the wrong bathroom! <nick> I resist the urge to walk over and punch her, and try to explain my version of what happened. At this point the bitch pipes up and calls me a "lying son of a bitch" that was a "menace to society" <nick> so I think "right I'll fix you" and turn to her and say "look you stupid bitch, you came onto me, I turned you down, what kind of sad pathetic loser are you, that you have to hit on random guys in a bathroom anyway? Get over it, you lost, no need to get all bitchy over it." <nick> I figure now she'll either shut up or totally lose it and start screaming at me, but alas, I was mistaken about how fucked I truely was. Instead of shutting up, she looked at me for a second then burst into tears, before turning to the manager and saying inbetween sobs.... <nick> ".....you're not going let him say that to me, are you daddy?" <R4an0m> aahahahahahaa!! <nick> so now Im sore from being thrown out the door by that bouncer, and I got a vist from the police this morning telling me I was being charged with sexual assault.. :(. #466097
(778)(@Cradly): wouldnt you want to know if your box can be easily rooted? (@Slyder) Its not entirely my box ;) (@def): would you like it to be? #466105
(959)Spanky: dude...there's a guy with the aim SN "themormonjihad" TyFlame: rofl Spanky: what the FUCK TyFlame: conquering the world, one wife at a time #466117
(895)wertis: im going to go pick up my brother ubermensch: i perfer to pick up chicks but suit yourself wertis: fuck you #466122
(621)<SPEEDing|VoNK> you cant use knoppix as a server can you? <bob> why not? people use windows as one. #466257
(1188)<vrit> oh god damn, that beer just suddenly snuck up on my bladder all special-ops style <vrit> it was all metal beer solid #466283
(305)A78Gamer: BEFORE YOU DIE, YOU SEE THE RING A78Gamer: Just like Owen Hart. #466405
(1230)(@Phaysis) anyone here ever taken yoga classes? (@tesko) yes, and i stopped when i learned i couldnt breathe fire #466531
(822)* Bassfiend flicks to "The Avengers" for a bit of Uma... < planetWayne> nah - shes a bit ... ugly.. < planetWayne> although I liked killbill# * Bassfiend doesn't want to talk to planetWayne ever again. < Bassfiend> Uma is my love!!! < planetWayne> her eyes are not set properly. < Bassfiend> Correct ... < Bassfiend> ... they should be four inches above the level of my penis. #466715
(1850)<[56k]holtzboy> who hates metallica's st. anger cd? me me me me me <cockmonster> geez, 56kers, you even lag in real life <cockmonster> we all got done bitching about that CD months ago <Frenchman`> cockmonster, he just finished downloading it #467125
(1171)pinano: The angle of the dangle is directly proportional to the pinano: heat of the meat, as augmented by the thrust of the bust, pinano: and inversely so to the mass of the ass, so long as the pinano: bore of the whore remains constant. pinano: God, I love being an engineer. #467252
(1575)Mandy: The baby's kickin'. Adam: well kick that little fucker back. Adam: gotta start early with discipline #467485
(920)<|an> ok so whos got some nice anagrams of their name then? <|an> ian hamilton <mark-> him into anal #467640
(828)<MickXII> Spider-man creator Stan Lee awarded 10 percent of profits from movies. With 10 percent profit, there must come 10 percent responsibility #467883
(553)* Amon rocks out to Guns N Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine <Amon> this song owns <r0bz0r> It does <Amon> ;) <r0bz0r> I'm surprised michael jackson didn't do a remake #468705
(621)<Moltar> jesus says turn the other cheek <YouAgain> thats why jesus is dead #469064
(2132)Anonymous-san: okay so there's these two strings, right Anonymous-san: They walk into a bar Anonymous-san: The first string says Anonymous-san: Hello, I'd like a rum and cokerhe7954454gh2kjn.,.43>>[][]21?24 Anonymous-san: The second string says Anonymous-san: You'll have to excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated #469107
(2421)<RvLeshrac> <Terrorists> Shit, maybe we shouldn't take hostages from countries whose people are more insane than us. <RvLeshrac> <China> You give back hostages, or we kill all muslim. <NegaDuk> i think if they piss off china too much, they'll find that china, the US, and britain will turn the middle east into a big walmart parking lot <RvLeshrac> <China> We use nuke. What we care you nuke us? We have billion more people. <NegaDuk> <China> nuke beijing. we tried sars. it no work <RvLeshrac> <China> We stop birth restriction, we make billion more. Three day. <NegaDuk> i think china's just being antisocial so someone will thin their population <RvLeshrac> Seriously. <RvLeshrac> China's answer to anything should be "We stop birth restrictions" <RvLeshrac> <US> Stop flooding our markets with cheap goods, or we stop selling you soybeans. <China> We stop birth restriction! <US> Fuck. OK, OK! You can have the damned soybeans! <RvLeshrac> I bet that was the real reason Clinton gave them our satellite codes. <RvLeshrac> <China> You give us code, or we flood world with chinese! <RvLeshrac> <China> All your shirt shrink up like penis in arctic. <NightStar> damn those bad chinese laundry places <RvLeshrac> <China> You never get decent haircut. You explain to women why no manicure. <RvLeshrac> <China> We own you like Hong Kong. #469543
(1131)<tanuki> FunkyMonkey: I have a friend who tried shitting out of a tree stand while hunting <tanuki> he dropped his coveralls, hung his ass over the side, and let fly... but when he was done, he went to zip up the coveralls, flipped the hood up... <tanuki> *thwack* <tanuki> he ended up shitting in the hood of his coveralls without realizing it #469974
(1539)piratebot4: oh man piratebot4: my friend piratebot4: this really nice black girl piratebot4: her name is regina piratebot4: well, in class they were writting their names backwards piratebot4: and she realized piratebot4: regina piratebot4: a niger #470021
(1329)<ptp`R-N-C`efegege> how many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb? <The_only_Vanilla_Willy> HOW MANY?! <ptp`R-N-C`efegege> none they just sit in the dark and cry #471055
(1872)<Lyme> I got Fight Club for 6.98 at walmart. <Black_Bishop> I am Jack's low price guarantee #471421
(22)DorianB81: jesus was a humble man DorianB81: hed drive a ford focus #471438
(508)<Superlan> Cannabis brownies: the breakfast, second breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea time, dinner, dessert, and midnight snack of champions.