QDB — Browse Quotes

#422722 (63)

<+Nobody> Stephen Stack and James Gundlach were awarded the 2004 Ignobel Award for their paper The Effect of Country Music on Suicide that links the suicide rate to the amount of country music played on the radio
<+private_meta> hmm... if they would play country music in the radio i would commit suicide too... so whats so phenomenous on that paper?

#422753 (879)

<demios>Nothing is quite so disturbing as looking under your parents' bed and finding a box labelled "extra-stretchy cock ring"

#422766 (523)

<RuKK> people bitched at me to learn a foreign language so I learned perl

#422785 (316)

Osaka> There's no room to be deppressed anymore.
Osaka> I'd angst, but you'd all go to the "Emo" routine.
Osaka> What am I to do, bottle my emotions?
CodenameROFL> yes.
Osaka> ...
Osaka> Teh world = Teh suck
CodenameROFL> YOU'RE NOT BOTTLING!!!!
Osaka> Code, you suck.
CodenameROFL> :P
CodenameROFL> I know
Osaka> Well, suck elsewhere.
CodenameROFL> ...
CodenameROFL> If I could do that, do you think I'd be lurking on the internet?
Osaka> Nuff said.

#422800 (1198)

#422817 (622)

Jukeboksi has quit ["IF IT WERE POSSIBLE, THESE LETTERS WOULD BE EVEN BIGGER"]

#422929 (-385)

<cyan> You know what would suck?
<cyan> If an accident happened and you had to dial 911, but you have dyslexia.

#423288 (429)

<+Celestar> there was some gun with a warning:"When shooting on people, clothing may be damaged"

#423445 (969)

<Reliken> AIM is like the ugly chick who gives SUCH good head, and works sooooooo well. MSN is like the typical hot blonde. Gorgeous, but you can't communicate with her. Yahoo! is the creepy guy whacking off in the corner that no one likes, and Trillian is the average looking bisexual male.

#423529 (1679)

Kult Radio: So I was with this girl
Kult Radio: She said "Give me eight inches and make it hurt"
Kult Radio: So I fucked her twice and hit her in the head with a brick.

#423570 (1377)

HitMan: have you ever played that game "Taboo" ?
Spanky: nope
Spanky: don't think I've ever heard of it
HitMan: oh, well there's teams of two people, and you have a card that has
a word on it, and you have to make your partner guess the word. but
there's 5 words you're not allowed to say
Spanky: oh. it's like that stupid gameshow that used to be on a
million years ago
HitMan: so we were playing that tonight, and I was teamed with my buddy
Matt, and the word was "pornography" ... so first thing I say is "what you
masturbate to"
HitMan: he replies "Hillary Duff!"

#423623 (-21)

<Advocate> n00bface, in other words, die a virgin?
<n00bface> id rather just think of hot 50 year old fat virgin bosses
<n00bface> yes, i said hot fat.
<Advocate> ......................
<Advocate> Chubbychaser
<n00bface> at least i can catch them
<Fubar\anime> rofl
<Advocate> ...
<Advocate> rofl

#424338 (846)

<randomnine> i bet the internal age variable is protected
<randomnine> it's always accessible to anything that inherits
<Entrope> i can understand making getAge() protected or private, but there should definitely be a public isLegal() function

#424364 (1804)

* halocy goes for laundry like the good house-bitch she is
[a few mins later]
<halocy> my bf's socks are all kinda ... crunchy
<halocy> wtf?
<halocy> his feet must sweat a lot
<rvrsl> haha
<smashi> ew
<smashi> hehe
<smashi> are you sure it's
<smashi> SWEAT!
* smashi giggles
<halocy> what else would it be?

#424370 (554)

MycenaeSC2K4: Sigmund Freud once thorized that all male children have, at one point or another, want to have sex with their mothers.
MycenaeSC2K4: Now, one might think "OMG WTF?!"
MycenaeSC2K4: Until they get a look at Freud's mom...
Surfrider132: uhh, yeah
MycenaeSC2K4: Holy fuck, I'd want that!!

#424487 (9220)

JstWnnaHveFuN08: do you think i should call a guy friend and talk to him about my problems? or will he not care?
Thilo: Here's how it works: if a guy helps you with your problems, you're obligated to give him a blowjob.
JstWnnaHveFuN08: lol thanks that cheered me up
Thilo: No problem. That'll be one blowjob please.

#424642 (1351)

<Dogan> Just try and imagine michael jackson as a football player
<Samurai> ....
<Samurai> All that i'm going to say to that is:
<Samurai> the touchdown dances would be insane

#425480 (485)

<_chaos> The world will be perfect when you can log conversations from real life.
<_chaos> For example if a man denies sleeping with another woman his wife can just check the logs.
<_chaos> And the only way to cheat is if you had admin powers to edit the logs... like me. heh :)
<CCDude> or i could kick your nerdy ass and make you do it for me
<_chaos> Then you would be arrested after they checked the logs!
<CCDude> shit
<CCDude> your still a fucking nerd
<_chaos> And your still an idiot. :D

#426274 (3291)

<Rachel> 15. Mycophobia is the fear of?
<Vaen> MY COCK
<Skylar> small things
<Vaen> fuck you

#426275 (1955)

Be1ial: remember the old arcade games that had a message from the president about saying no to drugs?
Krizkor: haha yeah.
Krizkor: because of that blue screen before mortal kombat, i stayed off drugs.
Krizkor: but unfortunately, i began pulling people's spines out.

#426305 (538)

<Innkeeper> ===== Question 15588/19999 =====
<Innkeeper> What is the first book of the Bible
<Innkeeper> Hint: @@@@@@@
<looloo> genocide

#426401 (1307)

<Crac|ked> So anyway my griendfriend came over last night and like i was playing CS and not paying her any attention,
<Crac|ked> so like she silently slid under my desk and undid my pants and gave me oral -
<Crac|ked> to cut a long story short after i was done, she looked up at me and said:
<Crac|ked> "You do realise i just gave you a geeks fanatasy - CS and a blow-job!"
<RoCkYTrAiL> lol.
<JimmyBoy> I don't think that's a good fantasy...
<JiveHut> FAG!!!
<RoCkYTrAiL> fag!
<Treader> homo
<JimmyBoy> :(

#426527 (7146)

<green> We vegetarians love the environment. carnivores are sick freaks.
<Frank> How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the fucking plants

#426917 (1472)

<@[S]W|Supey|Around> what the fcuk? a DVD enlargement system? did my two spam senders mix their titles?

#426942 (1619)

<Booster> whyd you get a mac?
<Nick> I have conqured the PC
<Nick> just wanted to try it out
<Booster> you got it cause you were bored?
<Booster> thats like saying "ive mastered walking with 2 legs" so you cut one off