#420391 (1658)
<Cyb> heh this guy I knew in high school forgot to write an english paper until like the day before it was due and it was supposed to be a work of fiction a couple pages long
<Cyb> so he wrote down the half-life sp story
<Cyb> and stretched it out as much as he could
<Cyb> and got an A
#420439 (377)
<@Casper> Girl from work and I went to the pool hall
<@Casper> I asked her if she wanted to start talking
<@Casper> She said we would talk about it tomorrow
<@Casper> She has a nice looking sister too
<@cypher> start talking about what?
<@Casper> going out
<@cypher> people _plan_ relationship status?
<Vehementi> not only do they plan relationship status, they plan *talking* about relationship status.
<Vehementi> later in the relationship this is more commonly known as the "Let's talk about our relationship" trap
<@cypher> Vehementi: <3
<sh> $relationship->discuss();
<sh> new Relationship;
#420517 (650)
<Managore> Heh.. All I ever drink is cock and fanta.
<Managore> FUCK
<Apocalypse> !!!ROFLMAO!!! ..Freudian slip eh??
<Managore> NO
<Managore> FUCK
<Managore> SHIT
<Managore> FUCK
<Managore> FUCK
#420589 (2106)
<@dawoker> my manager dropped by and told me to stop using things like "my president is an assclown" in string testing for some of our code.
#420634 (410)
<SnowBlind> We need to get that professor who mutated Oranges to have THC, so that Bacon has THC.
<^goat^> mmmmm potbacon
<SnowBlind> GET HIGH WHILE YOU FRY!
<LynchHung> lol
<SnowBlind> We'll call it JAMAICAN BACON!
<Gazoo> Oranges have THC?
#420685 (2320)
<tadpoleofdeath> Why do so many math majors confuse Halloween and Christmas?
<elfking> why?
<tadpoleofdeath> Because Oct 31 is Dec 25
#420839 (2020)
<Siege>: Omg theres this really hot girl at my school.
<WarHawk>: Aww. Siegebear is in wuv.
<Siege>:Everytime she smiles i wanna cum all over her face.
<WarHawk>: Whoa
#420855 (9340)
gentoogod: omg dude
gentoogod: today i might the stupidest 3 people i ever met
gentoogod: thier 3 brains combined couldnt solve the dilemma they faced today
siral21: what was it
gentoogod: ok before i say this
gentoogod: 100% true, not one second of a lie
gentoogod: this lady went into mcdonalds today and ordered a big mac for her
gentoogod: and ordered 2 mcgrittles one for each kid. one had bacon one without
gentoogod: her sons are around 18 or 19 so not infants
gentoogod: she went to the counter furious cause the son that wanted bacon has no bacon on his and the one that didnt want bacon has bacon on his
gentoogod: i fell on the floor beside her and couldnt stop laughing
gentoogod: so i finally stood up and asked her to repeat, thinking maybe shes drunk
gentoogod: i swear to god she looked at me straight faced and repeated it. and her 2 sons were beside her mad that they didnt get the order they wanted
#420926 (1279)
<WooWoo> i was walking through goodwill with my daughter to look for costume ideas and there was this stuffed trout adn i gave it to her, adn literally, she smacked me with it and laughed
<WooWoo> and i'm like.
<WooWoo> omfg
<WooWoo> she just trout slapped me
<WooWoo> wtf
<WooWoo> she's not on irc
<WooWoo> it was all big too
<WooWoo> like 3 feet long
#420954 (308)
<JonnyCash> man i was having this bad dream about driving piss drunk but then i woke up from it
<JonnyCash> well i had to because the light turned green
#420967 (751)
<whitay> i just wanna kill mysql
<whitay> myself*
<heaika> that's an odd warning..
<whitay> mmm stupid reflex typing
#421080 (744)
<seekm> this was a call someone had that i was helping them with
<seekm> "is you caps lock key on?"
<seekm> "i think so, the keyboard is in all capital letters"
#421163 (919)
< [Syntax]> woah, I just cracked open my fortune cookie and it was dead on..
< Feenyx> how so?
< jonnyv> "you will eat a cookie"?
#421385 (2107)
<SKS> Hey, type lana backwards.
<LadyGrace> SKS, anal?
<SKS> Yes, please.
<WhoaOutOfControl> Hey SKS, type cips backwards.
<SKS> spic
* SKS was kicked by Anubis- (Racist language detected (4 hour ban) -- (207 served))
<WhoaOutOfControl> Teehee
<rancid_alan> What an ass.
#421516 (1398)
<konfuzed> i'm at this lan party...
<konfuzed> most of the others are downstairs, drinking.
<konfuzed> now they've all got goatse as their background image.
#421526 (-49)
<r0y_g3rb1l> police stations are clubs for thick-skulled short dicked racist gun-nuts that took every civil-ass test they could because no one else hires people that put "former nigger beater" on their resume.
#421528 (811)
<GaronSemi> The media players of the future will -kill you- if you associate their filetypes with another program.
#421551 (166)
<LegCow> he's about as funny as aids
<`Sage> HAHA AIDS! HAHAHHA!
<`Sage> LOOK AT THAT CUNT DIE! HAHAHA
<`Sage> HEY! HOWS YOUR IMUNE SYSTEM? OH? DONT HAVE ONE? HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHA
#421559 (85)
<TorpedoDog> well whats your take on the whole refugee bit then?
<MalcomX> sailings not the fastest way to get places
#421667 (2117)
<adidasdood> anyone smallville 403 yet?
<spacerat> verbs, dude, verbs
<spacerat> that sentence clearly requires a verb
#421788 (1267)
*** DickHead5 was kicked by TJ32 (3.80265176 × 10^-09 millenia long ban. (394 Served.))
TJ32 sets mode: +b *!*java@*.cos2.cable.ntl.com
<@DrLavaGoddess> LMAO
<@DrLavaGoddess> Now that's funny
<WhoaOutOfControl> Haha
<WhoaOutOfControl> how long is that ban
<@TJ32> 2 minutes.
#421793 (-164)
<Casualty-> i did weed once, fuck that shit
<Casualty-> and pot once
<CAL-bf|Russ> Weed was amazing
<eI|Katie> casualty...
<eI|Katie> weed = pot
* emolithic|Icon_class has joined #gxl
<Casualty-> err
<Casualty-> not pot
<Casualty-> cocaine
<Meta474> hahaha
<Meta474> Nerd.
#421829 (301)
<d-dog> know any thing that stops acne oh great kurty
<kurty> uh yeah
<kurty> finishing puberty
#422419 (1455)
<leif> well I used to go to a "special" school for troubled kids, so our classes were really easy and pretty dumb. One of them was "work study" and I remember one day a few kids were playing jenga on the main "study" table, and i got the most exellent idea to grab a small model plane from the teachers desk, throw it at the blocks, then after they fell over I shouted " HEY GUESS WHO I AM?!?!"....
<leif> That's why i'm home schooled now :-(
#422720 (779)
<RedLeader> So you like ju-jitsu tonight?
<Cigz> Yea, it was fun but I prefer my judo
<RedLeader> why, you think all of that throwing people around is cooler?
<Cigz> Ya damn right, the laddies love that stuff
<RedLeader> ...
<Cigz> shit, LADIES
<RedLeader> ba HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<Cigz> look, let's just keep this our little secret, alright?
<RedLeader> Sure dude, don't worry about it ;)
<Cigz> you bastard....