#417081 (719)
mojo: oh my god that was the greatest ever
mojo: UPS guy was at my door delivering some stuff to me
mojo: and this guy from across the street was on the sidewalk talking to him about a cell phone delivery or some nonsense
mojo: and the UPS guy says "crazy foreigner from across the street keeps bothering me, i don't even think he has a house"
mojo: "he probably drives a taxi because he can't get a real job"
mojo: and i smiled at him and said "yea. nothing at all like driving a UPS truck." *SLAM*
#417089 (328)
<blanco> chicks dig ignorance
<blanco> but only as long as do it with an accent
#417106 (795)
<janelle> i hate guys
<PacerX> hey, people can piss me off too, but i don't write off their whole gnder
<PacerX> that would make me a feminist
#417107 (3075)
<PacerX> i made a kid stop crying today
<bemyfreak> awww, how sweet
<PacerX> i knocked him unconcious
<bemyfreak> WHAT
#417139 (1430)
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<snoldak> im so lonely
#417147 (624)
<doom-> i never seen a canadian battleship
<[C1RCA]> cuz we STEALTH NUGGA!'
#417153 (115)
(Deranged): I wanna get a job in a candy store putting fudge into boxes.
(Deranged): That way, when people ask what I do for a living, I can say I'm a fudge packer.
#417254 (327)
<Mark_Ryan> those of you using mIRC, for a neat trick, hold down shift and click the "#wikipedia" button up the top
<Slowking_Man> I'm betting that closes it.
<Mark_Ryan> nah it does a 3D animation
* Parts: neilc (~neilc@61.88.101.19)
* Parts: squash- (~squash-@051.b.005.mel.iprimus.net.au) ("Leaving")
* Joins: squash- (~squash-@051.b.005.mel.iprimus.net.au)
<squash-> it works on xchat too
#417265 (310)
<Dave_A> Raping Secial Ed Kids is Fucking Retarded.
#417362 (325)
<Deepsy`SilentHill4> my ex came with BitchX internally intergrated.
#417967 (495)
<@asym> I bet rob zombie would win the election if he came on TV and said "elect me or I will open the gates of hell."
#418422 (1647)
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>wanna cyber?
<shiroi>sure
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>ok, i move close to u
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>i start rubbin your chest and unbutton your pants
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>..
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>hello?
<shiroi>hmm? oh..er. Yea cool.
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>u suck at this
<shiroi>I suck? You're the one signing on to irc with your asl in your nick looking for a lovelife. You suck at life.
<shiroi> You're probably not even a girl.
AnGeLcAkE-14fFA has quit IRC. (Quit)
<shiroi>Damnit, I'll never get a net gf at this rate :(
#418770 (-219)
MynameisTim <Joins>
MynameisTim:  Oh my fucking god, I was just whacking off and I have these crazy lumps on my coozer I think they are warts, anyway I'm sitting there ALMOST at climax when BOOM! one pops and coats my face with pus
MynameisTim:  so what are you guys up to?
#418773 (193)
<sticker> Scientists have recently dicsovered that most women will, at some time in their life, contain small amounts of intelligent DNA.
<sticker> Unfortunately for a large majority of females, this is only a temporary state, as over 95% of them will SPIT IT OUT!!!
<sticker> lmao
<ShadowHunter> rofl
<MrSupreme> rofl, good one
<CouldItBe> lmao nice one sticker
#418790 (1534)
<@drift_nax> i had 2 options
<@drift_nax> close the porn
<@drift_nax> or pull up my pants
#419629 (604)
<@Kamui> whats a flamewar without music?
<@Kamui> xD
<Br0thershin> Religion.
#419730 (97)
<Cheese> I'm going to Visit Canada one day anyway :/
<microburn> Cheese, we'll go drinking.
<Cheese> microburn, not until I'm like 23/24 ;s
<Cheese> What would be funny is
<Cheese> if we all still talk
<microburn> Cheese, : That would be sad if stayed on IRC for 8 more years talking to you all.
<Cheese> :s
* microburn commits suicide.
<Cheese> 8?
<microburn> I have 8.
<microburn> I'm 16.
<Cheese> microburn, I can't see a day when we still don't come on IRC
<Cheese> we might have graphics then
<microburn> Graphics?
<muert0> yeah me dancin naked in a box to your left
* microburn quits IRC, now.
#419733 (834)
Rain Complex: That was depressing Drew
Rain Complex: Please hold while I stab myself to death
BLUeTalon24: ok
BLUeTalon24: hurry back
Rain Complex: Okay, I'm back
BLUeTalon24: wb!
Rain Complex: I went to Hell ):
BLUeTalon24: that musta sucked
Rain Complex: Thank you
Rain Complex: Yes
Rain Complex: Well I'm still there
Rain Complex: They have computers!
BLUeTalon24: they have AIM too?
Rain Complex: They're 133s running only WinNT and AOL
BLUeTalon24: with spyware galore
Rain Complex: And pop-up makers
Rain Complex: Bootlegged Britney Spears WMAs playing in fast forward 24/7
BLUeTalon24: haha WMA is evil
Rain Complex: Linux users are crying everywhere
Rain Complex: And all the Mac people jumped into the pit of fire and sulfur
Rain Complex: The keyboards are DVORAK
BLUeTalon24: hahaha
Rain Complex: They only have trackballs
Rain Complex: And tape-drives
Rain Complex: 4.25 floppy drives that don't work
BLUeTalon24: left handed single click dirty rolling ball mice with no scroll wheel.
Rain Complex: No scroll wheels for thousands of miles, my friend
#419746 (40)
<worstazn> yo i need to find a new bitch..
<mejmanyme> k i have a plan
<mejmanyme> you running windows or linux?
<worstazn> winxp....
<mejmanyme> k, hit start and then "run"
<mejmanyme> type in "cmd"
<mejmanyme> after commandprompt opens
<mejmanyme> type currentbitch /release
<mejmanyme> then currentbitch /renew
<mejmanyme> now type currentbitch /all and send the results
#419747 (818)
cpufreak04: Fun fact.
cpufreak04: Take 'HAL' from 2001: A Space Odyssey
cpufreak04: And move every letter one letter forward (Y=Z, X=Y)
cpufreak04: What do you get?
MavAntagonist: g_k
cpufreak04: FORWARD.
MavAntagonist: oh....IBM!
MavAntagonist: OMG!
#419832 (2138)
<cbatoday> my friend walked in on me having sex on his bed last night
<Nemoso> was he pissed?
<cbatoday> well yea, it was with his girlfriend :
#419930 (-835)
<Bilbo>: Pac Man time!
<Bilbo>: < ............. M
<Bilbo>: < ........ M
<Bilbo>: < . M
<Bilbo>: ^
<Bilbo>: Oops. I died.
#420169 (712)
<lh> oh shit
<lh> started pickin my nose
<lh> then realised i got like my webcam on to 7 ppl
#420181 (2111)
<sic1> so you tried to go home
<sic1> and it wouldn't start?
<sp4nk> Indeed.
<sp4nk> I wish I knew a thing or two about cars.
<sp4nk> I wonder if there's a troubleshooter online that's like Microsoft's thing.
<sp4nk> Problem: My car will not start.
<sic1> HAHAHA
<sp4nk> Suggestion: Have you tried turning the key?
<sp4nk> [ ] Yes, this solved the problem.
<sp4nk> [x] No, the car still will not start.
<sp4nk> This troubleshooter is unable to solve your problem.
#420275 (1950)
<ColdRage687> do you like psychiatry
<Avs4Cup2K3> my mom's a psychiatrist
<ColdRage687> i dont
<ColdRage687> i used to think the brain was the most fascinating part of the body
<ColdRage687> but then i realized
<ColdRage687> pssssh
<ColdRage687> look whats telling me that