#414951
(3143)<ninevolt> I may not be Jesus but my penis gives women a religous expereience. <skittz> haha <skittz> yeah <skittz> it turns them into nuns #415421
(-1370)-Global- Oops. #416089
(524)<<p3ps1c4n>> I just killed a bee that was flying around my kitchen. <<sp0rkk>> omg, dude.. LOL!! <<sp0rkk>> this one time, i caught a bee and put it in a cup inside the freezer.. <<sp0rkk>> and then i took it back out, and tied a string to it.. 'cause it was frozen so it wouldn't sting me.. <<sp0rkk>> and then it thawed out and came back to life.. so i was like "whee!", walking around.. <<sp0rkk>> and then the fucker started chasing me around, trying to sting me! <<p3ps1c4n>> Rofl! <<sp0rkk>> so i smashed it with a frozen block of bacon. <<p3ps1c4n>> I fear for your cat. <<sp0rkk>> dude, stfu. #416165
(1183)<^head^> A nine year old boy asks his mother, "Is God male or female?" <^head^> After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well God is both male and female." <^head^> This confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?" <^head^> "Well," she says, "God is both black and white." <^head^> This really confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?" <^head^> Feeling a bit out of her depth, but wanting to be consistent, the mother answers, "Honey, God is both gay and straight." <^head^> At this the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks... <^head^> "Is Michael Jackson God?" #416169
(670)<Riley> Stop Rape, Say yes. #416173
(978)<Kathryn> y'know, its sad when you have to fake an orgasm while masturbating #416187
(152)<Ev> wow my roommates and i are so lazy, instead of gettting up and going to the other's room to say good night we IM each other good night that;s the Epitome of digital dependence #416188
(354)<tmb^work> even c64 can connect to the internet <tmb^work> irc + web <tmb^work> what do you need more? <garg^work> porn :D <triple> Porn. #416258
(1190)<@Mord> u fucked yo momma last night shin <@Mord> no...i mean i did <@Mord> you did... <@Mord> i mean the one thats most instulting :/ <+SHIN-SHIN> rofl #416599
(20)PaladinPrince555: today at highschool therewere these little punk ass 3 year old skater kids and they were trying to do these tricks and shit and sammi sadi LAND IT! and the little kid said SHUT UP! and i said shut up you little punk! i could kick your little ass! and he said SHUT UP then i said watch this and grinded the whole bench and they watched then the little punk said.... oh yeah? WATCH THIS! and he tried to do the same thing and he fell on his little punk ass BentlyCadillac: ahh BentlyCadillac: LMAO BentlyCadillac: HAHAHAHAHA BentlyCadillac: wait....he was 3? #416602
(2060)FuzzyCrare: i'm in love with a video game character Macross86: that's sad, pathetic, and completely understandable #416604
(711)<y0da> if they took the porn of the internet there would only be one website left and that would be www.bringbackbacktheporn.com #416654
(1641)(oSiRuS) I'm 19 years old and I have absolutely NO experience with women. Never had a kiss, never had a hug, never had so much as a handshake, and I have no idea why. (oSiRuS) I'm not a nerd. I don't have acne or glasses, I'm not fat. There's really nothing wrong with me, I just can't understand why I'm such a worthless candidate for dating. (@KillJoy) try walking out of the front door #416835
(505)(@Shockwave) Windows 3.11 calculator is broken in an amusing way. (@Shockwave) Put in 3.01 - 3 and it gives you 0, every time. (@Shockwave) Hurray for flaws in MS's basic math table (JIM_BOB7813) Well if you need a calculator to do that, you deserve that answer :P #416857
(9193)<born1986> why the fuck isn't my disc drive working <born1986> i fucking worked on that essay for three friggin' hours in school <born1986> i now i cant finish it 'cos my fuckin drive ain't working <Z00ass> you got the right drivers? <born1986> hell yes <born1986> it was working fine yesterday <born1986> why does this shit always happen to me? <Z00ass> maybe that little clip on the side is i nthe wrong position <born1986> i havent touched it since school <born1986> i'm growing impatient <born1986> ANGRY even <Z00ass> throw that shit out tha window . . . <born1986> OMG i fuckin did it!!! <born1986> FUCK!!!!! <Z00ass> it works? <born1986> no, i threw it out the window <Z00ass> the disk? <born1986> NO the whole drive <born1986> i live on the 6th floor, made a nice *smash* <Z00ass> :D <born1986> FUCK SHIT FUCK <born1986> THE DISK WAS STILL INSIDE <born1986> brb . . . <born1986> shit <Z00ass> what? did ya break it? <born1986> well i couldn't open the drive <born1986> so i had to pound it against a rock <Z00ass> :o <born1986> quite HARD <born1986> and you know what? <born1986> that fucking disk wasnt even there <Z00ass> ??? <born1986> i got so mad i threw the remaiders of the drive on to the freeway <born1986> and when i got back upstairs i foud the disk inside my bag <Z00ass> lol <born1986> I NEVER EVEN PUT IT IN THE DRIVE <born1986> i'm actually cryin right now . . . <born1986> wonder if i could make that drive work again <born1986> brb #416874
(-907)<[Cadaver]> There were three people on an airplane. One was Thomas Jefferson. One was George Bush. And the last was Bill Clinton. They opened up the airplane door and Thomas Jefferson threw out a 100 dollar bill and said "I just saved a family!" George Bush looked at Jefferson and then threw out 2 100 dollar bills. He then said, "I just saved TWO families!" Bill Clinton looked at Thomas Jefferson then at George. He sighed and pushed George Bush off the plane and said "I just saved the world!" ^_^ #416916
(565)<underground> someone grabbed my ass today in physics <Ludvig> that's not too bad either <Ludvig> unless it was a guy <underground> ...i go to an all boys school #416921
(567)<berkley> that was wierd <angled-diamond> berkley: what was? <berkley> i walked into my friend's dorms room, and it was empty. but the computer was on, and it showed some chic getting it in the ass. so i closed the door and dropped my pants. midway into wacking off and i noticed something <microfform> ? <angled-diamond> ? <berkley> there were no girls...and u know whats sad? <angled-diamond> that you finished jerking off? <berkley> ...yes #416931
(1070)<SJEZealot> You know your car is slow when it has a blue circle with the letters F-O-R-D in it. <Zoomzoom123> At least they circled the problem. #416942
(121)<MoonlightShadow> I'm exhausted and as a result of that, sick <BlueTicona> pms moon <MoonlightShadow> I do not have pms! <BlueTicona> no <BlueTicona> i mean pm's #416957
(392)<dragman> Did you know the legal age of consent in Canadia is 14? <lockdown!> Interesting...all i need now is a cheap flight and some deodorant <lockdown!> I think Hollands has a low consent age as well <dragman> Hehe. You go that way, I go this way and we meet in the middle. Highest kiddy total wins £20 <lockdown!> The game is on #416966
(628)::: Joins: STRAUSS (Simmons@Kitchener-HSE-ppp3578448.sympatico.ca) (STRAUSS) hey how do i change my quit message (@Seriph) /quit message (STRAUSS) ty ::: Quits: STRAUSS (Simmons@Kitchener-HSE-ppp3578448.sympatico.ca): Quit: message ::: Joins: STRAUSS (Simmons@Kitchener-HSE-ppp3578448.sympatico.ca) (STRAUSS) ban Seriph! #416976
(445)DarkNeo: Pedophilia is like golf, DarkNeo: you hit for the lowest you can DarkNeo: It's all good till it gets to 18, DarkNeo: then the fun stops. #417027
(576)R0ry » what shall i get my bro for his bday R0ry » he's 25 bazmalti » an anal probe? bazmalti » lol R0ry » i said 25 R0ry » not german #417076
(-915)<NightShade> hey Bamihap, lets do a singalong :D <NightShade> The internet is really really great <Bamihap> FOR PORN <NightShade> i got a fast connection, so i dont have to wait <Bamihap> FOR PORN <NightShade> there's always some new site <Bamihap> FOR PORN <NightShade> i browse all day and night <Bamihap> FOR PORN <NightShade> its like surfing at the speed of light <Bamihap> FOR PORN <Bamihap> WHY DO YOU THINK THE NET WAR BORN??? <Bamihap> PORN PORN PORN!!!! <herr_flick> roflol <NightShade> I'm glad we have this new technology <Bamihap> FOR PORN <NightShade> which gives us untold opportunity <Bamihap> FOR PORN <NightShade> from your own desktop, you can research browse and shop <Bamihap> FOR PORN <NightShade> untill you want to stop <Bamihap> FOR PORN <Bamihap> ALL THESE GUYS UNZIP THEYR FLIES <Bamihap> FOR PORN PORN PORN <herr_flick> lmao!!! <Bamihap> SO GRAB YOUR DICK AND DOUBLE-CLICK <Bamihap> FOR PORN PORN PORN!!!! <NightShade> o.m.f.g. :D <Bamihap> sorry shade, we masturbate ;)