QDB — Browse Quotes

#403295 (1559)

<fatmanippo> i watch hentai for the story
<fatmanippo> hentais are hilarious
<KingTaco> a samurai who sucks at everything but sex goes on a quest to have sex with sex ninjas so he can gain treasure for his clan XD
<KingTaco> ingenious plotline XD
<Konis> ... "sex ninjas"
<Pruin> my my, this world certainly lacks sex ninjas
<StormGrass> imagine how it'd be like if we DID have any...mm
<Pruin> any hot chicks here wanna dress up like a ninja and fuck my (and/or others) brains out?
* StormGrass nearly grows a stiffy
<airwaffle> if sexual frustration was harnessable energy, this channel could power the US

#403326 (451)

#403374 (1511)

<GC> do you have any idea how hard it is killing flies on your screen when its a touchscreen!? you have to wait till they walk off a button
<Mfling> rofl
<mx> heh
<GC> i swear they have started to get wise and just sit around on the close buttons of all my apps!

#403378 (545)

<Darkening> something doesn't feel right on my system now i just upgraded my nivida drivers
<Borgs8472> do you sense a disturbance in the force?
<Borgs8472> "theses aren't the driver's you're looking for"
<Darkening> ^geek

#404099 (1293)

<russki> still reading bash?
<Zaichik> Yeah... :(
<Zaichik> I got myself off reading webcomics, I can get myself off reading this!
<Zaichik> That sounded SO wrong.

#404244 (895)

* XeniX has the bestest most gorgeous g/f in the world
<Toughie> lol
<Toughie> thanks BF
<Steppenwolf> Toughie and XeniX, sitting in a tree
<Toughie> i-r-c-i-n-g

#404336 (76)

leafhound> i find it humorous as fuck that what is babyfat on girls is on guys...a beergut
mo0nChiLd> nah, its a fuel tank for a sex machine

#404361 (-62)

<Colorblind_18f> if u did find out u had children how would u feel?
<Cocknocker> sorry for myself

#404470 (-261)

<Wodeh> After that I never searched google for "naked dog sex fuck whore cock" again
<poli> ¬_¬
<Wodeh> I was looking for artwork by Ian Van Dahl
<Wodeh> Then I realised Ian Van Dahl was some guy who made crappy trance music
<Wodeh> So I just put random words in, in the hope I might get that picture of dogs playing cards

#405221 (15519)

<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<T-Wolf> you mother fucker

#405498 (1109)

<Nefesis> I did stop smoking weed
<Nefesis> I need my brain 24/24

#405617 (-43)

Hyp3rHax0r: haha, I feel stupid now
Hyp3rHax0r: I went and installed this really powerful GBA developer kit, 208MB, and I figured I'd do all sorts of crazy C stuff
Hyp3rHax0r: now I can't find the EXE to start it.

#406061 (25)

<Jontler> feel my wrath
ùíù Topic (#freebsd): changed by Jontler: derrich is mean
derrich/#freebsd waits for the wrath
<derrich> oh
<derrich> wow
<Jontler> yea whatup
<derrich> as far as wrath goes
<derrich> that's filed under the 'premature ejaculation' category

#406167 (1295)

<Chobes> You there, Mr. Mercman2000?
<Mercman2000> I'm talking with a chick. Piss off.
<Chobes> Text recognition AI has gotten so advanced.
<Mercman2000> This is ME. Mercman2000 you little Chobesey fuck. I am talking with a chick, this is the first non-postal related female contact I have gotten in for fucking never, so I don't care if your pubes are on fire and you need tech spit to douse the flames, whatever it is, IT CAN FUCKING WAIT.
<Trunks> o.o
<Chobes> omj poynt taken

#406366 (1107)

Cap'n Steve: I have no girlfriend, no money, I live at home and work at Taco Bell, but my domains don't expire until 2014 and DAMN IT FEELS GOOD!

#406373 (11777)

<[TN]FBMachine> i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section

#406381 (8083)

<Axe> I
<Axe> do
<Axe> not
<Axe> know
<Axe> where
<Axe> family
<Axe> doctors
<Axe> acquired
<Axe> illegibly
<Axe> perplexing
<Axe> handwriting;
<Axe> nevertheless,
<Axe> extraordinary
<Axe> pharmaceutical
<Axe> intellectuality,
<Axe> counterbalancing
<Axe> indecipherability,
<Axe> transcendentalizes
<Axe> intercommunications'
<Axe> incomprehensibleness.
<JediHobbes> woah
<JediHobbes> *blinks*

#408273 (375)

< pillBOX_w> "You can just grab both sides and twist - as you might twist a squirrel - and then eat the halves over the sink wildly while the juice runs down your arm." -- Tycho, on eating nectarines
< pillBOX_w> How would one go about twisting a squirrel?
< jer> pillBOX_w, one hand on body, one hand on head, move in opposite directions
< pillBOX_w> jer: I see you've lived in Arkansas before, or at least watched a show about their cuisine?

#408285 (460)

<Javin> *I* could put together a flash site that quotes 1000 imaginary people saying they saw a giant space monkey come and throw flammable poo at the pentagon. Doesn't make it true.

#408386 (-4)

The wolf catches Red Riding Hood and rapes her violently.
After he's done, Red Riding Hood threatens him, "I'm gonna go to the police and tell them that you violetntly raped me four times!!"
The wolf looks at her puzzled and says, "What do you mean FOUR times?"
Red Riding just looks at him and replies, "Well, we've still got time"

#408550 (782)

<BunnyMan730> So in my massive driving fit yesterday, I went into a Smiths up in north ogden to get a drink and a snack, I saw the pharmisit thingy and decided to walk up to it and ask for some condoms... The guy there said "Sure... What are you going to use them for?"...
<keucu> ..............
<keucu> What the Hell.

#408590 (372)

BillyLove: Half awake, some of my large mammal friends and I are sitting around playing Scatergories at around 1 AM.
BillyLove: Then out of noware we get the subject "Things you've never tasted" and the letter C... BillyLove: We thaught that was bad till be got the letter N and the fallowing subjects: "Things that are black," "Things you save up to buy," "Tools," and "Things your afraid of."
BillLove: Right before we got the letter H and "People who work at night", we got W and "Female athletes", then someone yells out "WHO CARES?" That's the last time we play that late.
Bufford: I think our game of Apples to Apples was worse. The word was "spicy" and someone played the card that said "JFK Assassination."

#408649 (1425)

(Chimerasame): I HAVE COMBINED TWO JAPANESE WORDS TO CREATE A MASTERPIECE OF HORRIFYING PROPORTIONS
(Chimerasame): seppukakke.

#408882 (1392)

<Raxor> I love the way my mom bursts into my room while I'm masturbating
<Raxor> then when I suddenly lean forward to cover my genitals she stands there and pretends nothing happened
<Raxor> just looks straight at me and says "come set the table"
<Raxor> then she kept standing there until I finally said, "okay..."
<Borisyen> she was waiting to be asked to 'help out' bwahahaha
<Raxor> then as she was leaving I noticed I never turned the porn off, so there was some girl sucking on a dick on the screen the whole time
<Raxor> well bbl.. I've got to do some awkward table setting.

#408891 (274)

Reynir > Have you ever tried prostituation?
Reynir > it's not like sex at all. more like multiplayer masturbation