#395849 (206)
freezingplanet85: How long Is your robo wang?
SmarterChild: Very long.
freezingplanet85: Stupid bot.
#395859 (996)
<KTP> If I ever get a hot girl pregnant I'm going to hit her stomach with a shovel
<KTP> And just start yelling "NO! BAD HOT GIRL!"
<KTP> Because thats how you have to treat them
<KTP> Or else they won't learn
<ib> That's cruel.  Isn't it bad enough that she's blind?
#395862 (392)
<%japaneseschoolgirl> china is beating USA in gold
<@||bass> it was tied this morning
<%japaneseschoolgirl> well still
<%japaneseschoolgirl> china is beating USA
<%japaneseschoolgirl> oh and USA lost in basketball
<%japaneseschoolgirl> to lithuania
<%japaneseschoolgirl> what the hell is lithuania
<@||bass> dude
<@||bass> dont sweat it
<@||bass> the olympics isnt over
<%japaneseschoolgirl> dont sweat it? USA lost in basketball.
<%japaneseschoolgirl> to LITHUANIA
#395867 (590)
<Stryst> DSP-: You're an idiot, aren't you?
<DSP-> Stryst: only on days that end with a "y"
<Stryst> DSP-: In your world all days must end in 'y'.
<Stryst> Go away moron.
#395868 (489)
<Navi> My mother (to brother): "If get fat enough, you can't see your weenee."
<Navi> My brother (age 8): "BUT I CAN MAKE IT BIG!"
<Navi> I lost all hope, right there.
#395881 (239)
<WhiteHowler> When did the Swedes get so good at Track and Field?
<Cubby[history]> When someone put a keg at the end of their lane.
#395906 (322)
<^Syke^> MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE
<^Syke^> :'(
<nelixx> dude
<nelixx> do it on webcam
#395908 (388)
Elinstar: Have you ever really thought about a male lifeguard?
Elinstar: Think about a hot muscular guy just TEARING YOUR SHIRT OFF in your time of need and pressing down on your chest with his hot muscular arms and forcing his tongue down your throat and blowing HIS AIR into YOUR LUNGS as he massages your chest.
Elinstar: Not that I'm gay or anything but thats basically what you're getting.
Centimetro: Wtf
#395913 (230)
<bill> Last time christ went to church, they killed him. What makes you think he wants to return?
#395925 (270)
aznsmilingirl: if u had an accent, what would it be?
AgentScrewball: russian
AgentScrewball: because then i'd sound pissed no matter what i say
#395969 (514)
[Spetsnaz] My uncle taught me at age 9 how to strip and reassemble a 9mm Makarov pistol blindfolded.  God did that infuriate my mother.
#395988 (217)
<kenlay> Roses are #FF0000
<kenlay> Violets are #0000FF
<kenlay> 01101001001000000110011001110101011000110110101101100101011001000010000001111001011011110111010101110010001000000110110101101111011011010000110100001010011000010110111001100100001000000110111001101111011101110010000001100110011011110111001000100000011110010110111101110101
<kenlay> Nerd poetry.
#396022 (278)
<JohnPnP> Hey, porn is good. SEX CAN WAIt, MASTURBATE.
<JohnPnP> Abstinance is in the palm of your hand.
#396045 (322)
<GOD> whats next on my list?
<GOD> ah yes
* moogle has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
#396057 (418)
<Phre0n-Burn> I finally find out why i tear up during sex...
<Phre0n-Burn> Its the mace...
#396127 (496)
<frenetic> guys how much would 200 mhz usually cost at a store
<frenetic> I am trying to upgrade my 800mhz to 1ghz
#396157 (232)
SmarterChild: Market data (delayed 20 minutes) provided by Reuters
Ticker  Price  Change  Percent  Volume
1  :-) B    26.50  +0.22   +0.84    18300
2  :-( A    22.15  -0.05   -0.23    747600
3  :-) S    38.50  +0.07   +0.18    688700
4  :-) T    14.45  +0.15   +1.05    930700
5  :-( A    22.15  -0.05   -0.23    747600
6  :-) R    43.55  +0.05   +0.11    157700
7  :-) D    64.77  +0.07   +0.11    342600
#396190 (775)
<legola5> |×| Winamp is: Playing |×| INCOMPLETE (my)Queen - We Are The Champions3dc88b69146fd4de16c0be9fa2ddabb2002c287d00800000ac44000000b4 |×| 1Min 59Sec
<legola5> bet thats a bugger to sing
#396212 (457)
<Crono> If life were a video game, level 1 would be France.
#396287 (457)
<kennykiller> drombie, you need to up your social skills
<drombie> Clarify
<kennykiller> just because someone says they think youre funny doesnt mean they want to have sex with you :P
<TheMster> SO THATS WHY I GOT ARRESTED
#396394 (497)
ShoMonkayHe: Guess what
Maxx Stepper: you lost our virginity?
Maxx Stepper: your*
#396417 (342)
<ronnie> i remember the first time i made love it was dark, cold and i was all by myself
<ronnie> bah wrong window damnit
<ronnie> ignore that
#396455 (241)
<@Amon> I got this spider bite on my ass..
<@Amon> x.x It hurts
<@Xanthros> Well gee whiz. WTF were you doing to the poor spider?
#396486 (257)
<LaPengo> .8ball Am I the hotz?
<PengoBot> <<LaPengo>> : Definitely LaPengo...
<Bison> .8ball Was that rigged?
<PengoBot> <<Bison>> : Most likely!
#396517 (537)
<Cereal_Killer> Dude you may have been pissed, buy thats no reason to knock your sister up.
<Joeytgstk> You're just jealous because you're an only child