#393209 (1004)
<Matrix_McCloud> i can't imagine sticking anything in your mouth farther than like 4 inches
<Matrix_McCloud> without puking
<Oolong> you have to do it a certain way
<Oolong> if you line your throat up right it just slides in
<Oolong> or if his schlong is bent downwars
<Matrix_McCloud> then if it touches the edge, your nose lights up red and beeps
#393229 (141)
<JonTG> What's more fun than swinging a dead baby around on a rope?
<JonTG> Stopping it with a shovel.
#393241 (587)
<Matt-san> Over the hill women have experience. :)
<Kataclysm> And saggy boobz
<Matt-san> They flop back and forth like mudflaps.
<Kataclysm> Thank you for the lovely visual, Matt.
<Raiden> Its like when you go to the nursing home
<Raiden> and say "SHOW ME YOUR TITS"
<Kataclysm> I'm going to kill you now. Please don't take it personal.
<Raiden> and they take off their pants
#393304 (952)
[2nd_law_of_thermodynamics] why are the vaginas always blurred out in hentai?
[dsgasdsa] vaginas can bend light
[dsgasdsa] 'the black hole'
[2nd_law_of_thermodynamics] they must do it just to piss me off
[dsgasdsa] it's because you should be focusing on their personality
[dsgasdsa] shallow cunt
#393323 (131)
<Obiwan> Koreans are kicking ass at men's all around gymnastics...
<Obiwan> ....don't ask why I'm watching men's gymnastics....
<Nimdae> you like their tight asses
<Obiwan> well they don't show ass that much
<Obiwan> their pants are too loose
<Obiwan> sigh
<Obiwan> actually I turned it on and I saw a korean.
<Nimdae> you just proved you are watching their asses
#393357 (385)
<Jetsuo> Ew, Ashlee Simpson is #1 on the Billboards. Jetsuo must go kill a kitten now.
<KitBoxPocket> Jetsuo: every time you kill a kitten, God masturbates.
<Jetsuo> lmao
<KitBoxPocket> You dont want God flogging his holy log, do you?
<Nyschashi-Seikun> when god ejaculates, it snows
<KitBoxPocket> Oh, snow day, sweet
<Jetsuo> and when God craps?
<KitBoxPocket> A republican is elected
<Jetsuo> XD
<KitBoxPocket> "Mommy! Mommy! Every time a Republican gets elected, it means God just had a really great shit!'
#393451 (440)
* elisteran subscribes seriumu to spamlists
<elisteran> would you rather get nigerian 419 scams, or hawt lesbian pr0n ?
<Pavel> elisteran: As if the two were mutually exclusive.
<elisteran> Dear Mr. Smith, my name is Motoba Kwambe, and I am legal counsel representing the family of the late Prime Minister of Nigeria, Bouncy Bubbles. Her nude coed widow has the opportunity to retrieve $15 million stashed away in a bank account, but needs a US citizen to ...
<Pavel> elisteran: That works.
#393507 (47)
<neekohh> eh, where should i go?
<tzigaite> gamespot by target might give you more
<neekohh> gamespot is that place near target right
#393554 (1772)
<watashi-wa>necrophilia is dead boring
<chersucks> wtf?!?
<watashi-wa>try incest instead
<watashi-wa>it's only relatively boring :p
#393563 (-330)
<JoeDawson> "Tour De France Winner Lance Armstrong was stripped of his title after 3 substances banned by the french were found in his hotel room"
<KloA> haha
<JoeDawson> The three banned substances... Deoderant, Toothepaste, and soap.
<JoeDawson> *rimshot*
<JoeDawson> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
* JoeDawson TEH FUNNAY
#393574 (776)
[sides] the other day my aunt and cousins were over my house for the night and them and my family were in the living room
[sides] some how we started talking about pamela anderson. my sister was like "well it's not like she's in porn or anything"
[sides] and they were all arguing over if she's in porn or not.
[sides] I wasn't really paying attention because I was trying to fix my dad's computer, which is in the same room. but I heard them talking about porn so I listened up
[sides] and when my sister said "no she's never been in a real porn or anything"
[sides] I spoke up and said "oh yes she has!"
[sides] everyone looks at me funny and I hadn't realized what I did wrong yet and my dad's like "how do you know that?"
[sides] so I just got up and went upstairs.
#393623 (33)
<[foreel]Torisutamu> Warning!
<[foreel]LagginTimes> Warning: The following commercial may not be suited for young children.
<[foreel]LagginTimes> Tired of watching college girls run around like morons and take off their clothes?
<[foreel]LagginTimes> Of course you're not!
<[foreel]Torisutamu> Tired of those same old girls at those same beaches? We thought not!
<[foreel]Torisutamu> Fucker beat me to it
#393641 (427)
isotec: so my dad decides to be nice and put a chocolate on top of my LCD monitor (its one of thoes ones with booze in it
isotec: so i come by l8r and im like cool
isotec: i pick it up as as i do so it starts to drip on the top of the monitor and some booze leaks out
isotec: im thinking well that was totaly smart dad now i have whisky or somthing and chocolate oozing around up there
isotec: but im like hey cant let that chocolate go to waste
isotec: i start to lick up the tasty mess and when im in mid lick my dad walks in and is like "Jesus son, i know you many like your computer but this is just rediculous!"
#393703 (522)
<EvolvEarth> /nickserv identify iloveanal
<EvolvEarth> FUCK
<kupo> How did you know my password?!
#393714 (366)
310||slackerr: man, they shut off the water in our building
310||slackerr: its gonna be off the entire day
510||joey: that SUCKS@
310||slackerr: the worst part is that i took a shit before i knew it was off
#393802 (327)
<_blackcat> in the bash how do I get it so that it will show the all the dirs in a different color?
<octalpuss> i believe that's the --gay option
#393812 (1062)
<tegu> WANNA PLAY IRC TIC TAC TOE?
<tegu> 1 2 3
<slip> K
<tegu> 4 5 6
<tegu> 7
<tegu> erm
<slip> LOL
<tegu> 1 2 3
<tegu> 4 5 6
<tegu> 7 8 9
<tegu> you go first
<slip> 1
<tegu> 5
<tegu> UR TURN
<slip> 4
<tegu> 7
<slip> 3
<tegu> 2
<slip> 9
<tegu> 8 gg
<slip> gg
#393869 (430)
<imanz> sorry about my server il get it up
* absynthe wonders where she's heard THAT before...
#393904 (136)
<D1> ugh
<D1> they put me on lithium!
<sorbix> did they perscribe you batteries
<D1> not yet.
<D1> but who knows what they'll give me next time.
#394101 (612)
<Nique> *eyes spam* 'Supersize your penis.' Does that come with fries?
<kymscrazy> I want a chocolate shake with mine.
<Foenix> I just want no lettuce.
* GeekRyuu (Ryuu@12.5.124.207) has joined #subcafe
<GeekRyuu> Hi!
<GeekRyuu> How is every little thing?
<Foenix> We were just talking about supersizing them.
#394279 (-38)
(long conversation about a problem goes here)
<Yttak> So, what you want me to do now ? It still doesnt work !!!
<TheMTZ> ok - i got the ultimate solution for you now - it will solve it 100 pct.
<Yttak> Cool, tell me !
<TheMTZ> Unplug all the cords, put the PC back into the box and bring it back to where you bought it.
<Yttak> You mean its broken ? What should i tell them when they ask ?
<TheMTZ> Tell them you are too god damn stupid to own a computer and get the money back.
* Quits: Yttak (Yttak@xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx)
#394302 (24)
Ross81: my fingers smell like pussy for some reason
Battlepoet: uh
Ross81: I wonder if mcdonalds has added different spices to their friends and mcnuggets
Battlepoet: o.0
Ross81: fries rather
Battlepoet: good thing I've got wendy's coming instead
#394480 (1140)
<@NeoMinder> Hey cloud! Get off my you!
<nightrunner> You ate paint chips as a kid, didn't you?
<@NeoMinder> you mean wall candy?
#394892 (919)
* Quits: FuTar0 (Quit: and /part were sitting in a tree and /part fell off, who was left?)
#394935 (498)
<ThaNoise> you know i saw something funny last night. an asian guy wearing a jerry rice jersey. was it wrong of me to laugh at an asian persion with "RICE" printed on the back of his shirt?