#384176
(442)<Reedy> man im lame <Reedy> i was walking around the city tonight <Reedy> looking at the signs and billboards etc <Reedy> street lights, traffic lights <Reedy> and im like "pfft, doom3 has way better lighting than this shit" #384228
(700)<Aragorn^> I tried using the old "show me yours and I'll show you mine" trick...maybe I should reverse it...show me yours OR I'll show you mine. #384243
(922)<ExplosiveTwinkies> Ok, my sister calls Compuserve to cancel my net(thank god), but unfortunetly, only the account holder(Me) can speak to the operator. But I'm a 'minor' so I can't. <ExplosiveTwinkies> So I can't speak to the operator AT ALL. I can't give my sister the 'authority' to talk, cause I cannot speak to the operator. <ExplosiveTwinkies> Then... suprise suprise, the operator asks for my WIFE. #384245
(427)(weaseL) the nurse at the the reception at the doctors is hot (Venge) oh, so that's why they think you have asthma... #384265
(2118)<Devilbunny> when talking to a girl who's a programmer about dating prospects, I said not to worry. <Devilbunny> as a programmer, she'll be exposed to geek boys who may have never seen a girl before, and she can have her pick of the litter <Devilbunny> someone else interjected saying "The odds are good, but the goods are odd." #384331
(658)<+Badger[49]> ...would you pose nude for, like, a billion dollars? o.o <+Nightwish> who wouldnt <+Nightwish> o_o <+Nightwish> then again i'd pose for like 5 cents and a candy #384495
(439)<Mansion_Maniac> I just realized something <TheEnforcer> ?? <Phone> ?? <Mansion_Maniac> if you renamed "humans" as "Terrans"; "aliens" as "Zerg"; and "Predators" as "Protoss", the new Aliens vs. Predator movie would totally be a movie adaptation of StarCraft. #384674
(1418)<dorian> 8======D <stout> that smiley has a really long nose #384735
(1428)[Maimed_Perfection] Anything with numbers replacing letters is just fucking stupid. [Sanctum] Yeah [Sanctum] NO ONE THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVEN SPEAK [Sanctum] PLEASE #384762
(117)<`Jamesy> i saw this old guy buy doom3 today <`Jamesy> as he's buying it the shop assistant asks him what kinda pc/video card he has <`Jamesy> and he mutters something about 32mb <`Jamesy> and the assistant says it wont run and that he needs a new card with at least 128mb <`Jamesy> and then the twit says <`Jamesy> but it runs doom 2 ok!!!!!! #384861
(294)<Murielle> this just in from ABC Radio - a man went to defend himself when he heard a noise, stuck a .22 caliber pistol in his shorts.. accidently pulled the hammer back... felt this stinging sensation, and a trickle of blood down his leg.... <Murielle> he had performed a self-orchectomy <Murielle> :-) <Noelle> lol <Charron> hmm, so shooting your testes off "stings"? <Murielle> apparently <StephanieNYC> uhhhh <StephanieNYC> a stinging sensation? <StephanieNYC> this makes for a new definition to the term "numb nuts" #385125
(2219)<chibo> Found something pretty rad. $5 FBI hat purchased at HOPE. Blew past a cop at 85. Looked over at the cop, he read the hat, saluted, and retargeted someone else with the radar gun. Not too bad for $5. Highly recommended. #385163
(461)<Matrix_McCloud> by the way, is "legend of lumpy" our final answer <Matrix_McCloud> this is for $100,000 <Matrix_McCloud> you have 2 lifelines <Tenchi147> I would like to use a life line <Tenchi147> I want to call a friend <Matrix_McCloud> you alrady used that one, and all you said was "WASAAAAAAAAP" #385461
(434)<Alvin> so there are four guys in one prison cell. One is a zoophile, one is a sadist, then there's a necrophile and an extremesports athelete. <Alvin> the zoophile says: ahh, if I had a cat here, I'd fuck it till I pass out. <Alvin> the sadist says: ahh, after that I'd torture it until it's dead <Alvin> the necrophile: wow, after that I'D fuck it till I pass out <Alvin> the extremesports guy is sitting in a far corner and very quietly says: mjau #386016
(909)Ruben: You know it was a good shit when you come back and your screensaver's on. #386207
(829)<Paul> So anyway, i hit him over the head with a shovel <Paul> and now he's all "Lawsuit" this and "Jailtime" that #386222
(2347)Trikkz R 4 Kidz: YO Trikkz R 4 Kidz: WASSUP? tetsu2051: presumably not your shift key #386488
(423)<KainSularei> ah, bash.org <KainSularei> 17037 quotes approved; 13482 quotes copied from the top 100 bash quotes pending; 5 original quotes pending #386538
(276)<simon-say> CNN is reporting that Lance Armstrong may be stripped of his 6th Tour de France title. <simon-say> In a random check for banned substances, three were found in Armstrong's hotel room. <simon-say> The substances banned by the French that were found in his hotel room were as follows: (1) Toothpaste, (2) Deodorant, (3) Soap <simon-say> The French officials also found several other items which they had never seen before, including a testicle and a backbone... <simon-say> Earlier reports that French Government officials attempted to surrender to Armstrong as he entered Paris were apparently erroneous. #386757
(444)* Jadyn wacks Murad with a very large book * Murad dies * Jadyn pokes Murad * Murad pokes Jad back from the bowls of Hell <Jadyn> ack! <Murad> :-D * Jadyn searches Murad's dead body for stolen presents * Murad asks his good friend Lucifer to send out a few demons to get Jad * Falkan asks them for papers * Falkan deports the demons * Murad hides his stolen presents away and sets his evil elf minions to guard them * Jadyn eyes the elf minions * Falkan points out the use of non-union elf labour. #386769
(754)(@_mara) Wanted: (@_mara) A tall, well-built woman with good (@_mara) reputation, who can cook frogs (@_mara) legs, who appreciates a good fuo- (@_mara) schia garden, classical music, and tal- (@_mara) king without getting too serious. (@_mara) But please only read lines 1, 3 and 5. #386777
(492)<Abby> nice language <Abby> you kiss your mother with that mouth? <nether> no, i kiss yours #386793
(534)SnatchFace: I stumbled into the bathroom this morning after being up half the night with stomach pain and grabbed the wrong tube out of the cabinet in my stupor. I brushed for a half minute with Anusol HC when it slowly seeped into my addled brain that somethign was not quite right. I have been barfing ever since. Am I dying? Rouge: Perhaps you should change your name to Assface. Blazert40: I'll give you 32 mins to live. vi-edit: Going by your screenname, at least it wasn't Vagisil. #387388
(86)[Lamsey> lol, i'm running UT in spectator mode to run down my laptop's battery and the camera's right next to a biorifle spot [Lamsey> whole screen's covered in green goo, hehe <-FuNkY CaPrIcOrN-> that happened to me last night <Lamsey> ok FC, please don't elaborate in any way or form please <-FuNkY CaPrIcOrN-> I sneezed and all this stuff came out of my nose <-FuNkY CaPrIcOrN-> all over the screen <Lamsey> ugh, too late <-FuNkY CaPrIcOrN-> people tell younger guys to make sure they have enough money...comdums...etc when they go on a date <-FuNkY CaPrIcOrN-> also remember to blow your nose before you go out <-FuNkY CaPrIcOrN-> could cause problems <Lamsey> 'snot usually a problem for me #387392
(334)<tweekie> omglife! * tweekie promptly dies <Davidious> Oooooo <Davidious> Hey babes <tweekie> no necrophilia play tonight, i'm too tired * Davidious sighs * Davidious Quit (Connection reset by peer)