#372928 (946)
Exar Khan 666 : there are certain aspects about me that i want exactly the same in a potential mate and there are things that I would never want her to have
Yesterday Dying : like a penis
Exar Khan 666: I'm talking personality wise but yes that would be at the top of the list
#373090 (-775)
<SC_DNO> i was holding the Canadian flag one day, and i jumped into a car...lmao wait a second!
<SC_DNO> THEY'ER CANADIAN, they dont have a flag
<Eric|TheWheelman> sure they do
<Eric|TheWheelman> its a piece of cloth with a leaf on it
<William> You can wipe your ass with both.
#373286 (1354)
KaresMexxDWNxx: last night me and tawny were in a car.
KaresMexxDWNxx: she was in the backseat reading a magazine.
KaresMexxDWNxx: and i was infront trying to get some rest.
KaresMexxDWNxx: A cop comes by and ask me how old I am.
KaresMexxDWNxx: i told him that i was 23.
KaresMexxDWNxx: then he asked me how old tawny was.
KaresMexxDWNxx: i told him that she turns 18 in 11 minutes.
#373292 (976)
Psychosis555: Dude who's that hot chick in the picture with you?
Psychosis555: The one with the nice tits
Jorden666 Sxe: Dude thats my sister!!
Psychosis555: So?
Psychosis555: I'm not related to her
Jorden666 Sxe: Dude she's 4!!!
Psychosis555: I stand by what I said
#373305 (1340)
<annillace> we landed in vegas, and the pilot says
<annillace> "those of you needing wheelchair assistance, please remain seated"
#373397 (1663)
<aidan> i'm going to rule when i leave home
<wyki> why?
<aidan> i was concerned about the amount of food in the house
<aidan> i now sit here with four, yes, four peanut butter and jam sandwiches and a glass of milk
<aidan> i could live like this for weeks
<wyki> ahh but when you are living on your own you will need to shop, and then you will be greeted with the problem that has faced many broke young men living by themselves. to buy bread and peanut butter, or to buy condoms and bear
<aidan> why i would EVER buy condoms and a bear is beyond me
#373400 (64)
<Androo>haha I got honked at by hot chicks today
<Priest>that was my grandmother and her friends.
#373735 (305)
<andyroo> So, whats everyones new years resolution?
<AnimeMan> no more lacking sex
<AnimeMan> 2 times a day minimum
<AnimeMan> what about you andyroo?
<andyroo> With every passing moment, I want to type more gramatically.
<andyroo> I'm just practicing at the moment.
<andyroo> I want to believe that I'm smart, while others think I'm a d#8khead.
<andyroo> Hopefully, now and again an intelligent operator will ban me for this
<AnimeMan> hahah
<AnimeMan> you forgot a period
<AnimeMan> hopefully god doesn't forget to give my gf one
#373736 (934)
<AnimeMan> my bed is evil.
<norad> how so?
<AnimeMan> it's a spy.
<norad> how can a bed be a spy?
<AnimeMan> well at night.. it squeeks.
<AnimeMan> It's as if it's telling my mum, "he's masturbating, he's masturbating!"
#373740 (407)
* @etelmo gets the RIAA on Merlin for his MP3's
<Merlin> what MP3s?
<@etelmo> They can find anything, even if it isnt there
<@etelmo> they should make em search iraq
<Merlin> haha
#373797 (1434)
<Xenecrite> wanna hear a joke?
<Xenecrite> Women's Rights
<Lone_wolf_gurl> you have 5 seconds to start running.
#373798 (778)
<Robot> I heard that a lemon is a good contraceptive.
<end_game> yeah mate,
<end_game> i heardit's actually tested to be better protection than a condom
<Robot> Really????
<end_game> yeah. you can't get a lemon pregnant.
<Robot> ahahaha
<Robot> No harm in trying it. Might sting a bit.
<end_game> you or her?
<Robot> She can get her own god damn lemon.
#373955 (524)
arabella: you don't wear thongs bcuase they're comfy, you wear thongs becuase your boy likes them.
arabella: it's advertising.
firewalk: in some cases, false advertising.
#374061 (378)
<mojo1701> I remember being in class, and the teacher started talking to us about communicable diseases
<mojo1701> our teacher's a real whore
<mojo1701> and she kept on saying to us: "Flies can carry diseases. You don't know where they've been"
<mojo1701> and I looked at her and said, "Then you should stop unzipping so many of them if you don't know where they've been."
#374163 (562)
Rob: But I'm not horny.
Tiffany: pretend
Tiffany: girls do all the time
#374239 (390)
(@sml) jesus
(@sml) Bizarre & Weird Porn Links < PenisBot... Fetish Bloody pussy pics of teens changing menstrual tampons & pads, + tampon eating. A Sex With a Twist Interesting and unusual porn - midgets, twins, latex ...
(@sml) anytime you think something's too weird to be on the intarweb
(@sml) it is there
(@sml) and pushing >> 85mbit of movie bandwidth, fo sho
(@sml) ugh
(@sml) that's fuckin gross, even for me
(@mamba_X) tampon eating urk
(@mamba_X) way to get your iron i guess
(Blaxthos) only someone who has gone down on his girlfriend after pucking her cherry the night before would think of that
(@Sabboth) or someone who has earned their red wings
(@pachell) that's some fucking filthy shit
(@pachell) i'll fuck a bitch on the rag, but that's about it
(Blaxthos) it was an accident
(Blaxthos) or call it lack of forethought
#374240 (11)
20:15 < Nitrocld> FUCK
20:15 < Nitrocld> NO
20:15 < Nitrocld> NOT PORN
20:15 < Nitrocld> I coulda had someone behind me
20:16 < Nitrocld> Bastard
20:16 < acid> lmao
20:16 < acid> hehe
20:21 <@guk> porn is jokes tho
20:21 <@guk> "Well son ... lets have a man to ... holy shit she has big tits"
20:21 <@guk> :D
#374274 (350)
<Jesus> oh mean, my underwear elastic thing just came off
<MoonKatz> haha
<MoonKatz> mine's painted on, no elastic to worry with
<MoonKatz> although, the way the paint is flaking, I've been considering updating to aluminum siding
<Jesus> aluminum siding?
<Jesus> jesus, your underwear is more classy than my home
#374277 (291)
Demonic: .............  Whoah, this conversation just took the offramp into Pervert Pike, going a good 80 mph even.
Demonic: Not that I'm entirely against such a happening.
YRS: niehter am I
YRS: lol
YRS: I could go for a good hentai right about now
Demonic: Good ole hentai, glossing over Japan's major social problems since 1946.
#374313 (1621)
jdayish: what do you think of bush and kerry
perfectblue_halo: the movie trailer for Aliens Versus Predator comes to mind... "Whoever wins, we lose."
#374317 (7)
MuffinMn626 [9:58 PM]:  FUCK PEOPLE
MuffinMn626 [9:58 PM]:  i jsut got fucked over
Jin Iz Back [9:59 PM]:  what happened this time
MuffinMn626 [10:01 PM]:  bah
MuffinMn626 [10:01 PM]:  you no faustina right?
MuffinMn626 [10:01 PM]:  well like, she signed on
MuffinMn626 [10:01 PM]:  and she told me that she liked me at the end of the year
MuffinMn626 [10:02 PM]:  so im like "wow..thats really cool, im flattered"
MuffinMn626 [10:02 PM]:  and we got all talkign and shit
MuffinMn626 [10:02 PM]:  then she sigend off randomly
Jin Iz Back [10:02 PM]:  ...
Jin Iz Back [10:02 PM]:  uh huh
MuffinMn626 [10:02 PM]:  she jsut signed on right now..and i said "hey, why you sign off so suddnley last night?"
MuffinMn626 [10:02 PM]:  she siad "i wasnt on last night..my cousin was..why?"
MuffinMn626 [10:02 PM]:  AOIRNOAFOAWN FUCK
MuffinMn626 [10:02 PM]:  damnit
Jin Iz Back [10:02 PM]:  ROFLMAO YOU GOT SERVED
Jin Iz Back [10:02 PM]:  HOLY SHIt
#374339 (488)
<_rev> in fact, i've gotten further with my sister than anyone i know
#374364 (481)
insane_elmo88: sometimes i get serious anal pressure
insane_elmo88: and i'm not sure if it's fart or shit
insane_elmo88: and sometimes i just gamble, not knowing if i'm gonna rip a humonguous fart or defecate my pants
insane_elmo88: so far i haven't lost
weaselmaster07: rofl
insane_elmo88: i've shit my pants every time :p
weaselmaster07: roflmao
#374385 (210)
<brokenpodium> dude im about to talk to some kid from my high school that tried to kill himself when he got drunk
<JaaLin> thats fucked up
<brokenpodium> im going to ask if he wants to get hammered with me
#374400 (261)
<DeathPool> You know that internet culture has reached its peak when the first comment on a news post about an ape that walks upright is: HILARY DUFF APE SEX!